Some years ago, The Archbishop of Canterbury was rushing to catch a train in London. In his haste, he accidentally jumped on the wrong passenger car and found himself on a car full of inmates from a mental hospital. They were all dressed in mental hospital clothing.

Just as the train pulled out of the station, an orderly came in and began to count the inmates, “1-2-3-4…”… when suddenly he saw this distinguished looking gentleman there wearing a business suit and a clerical collar and he said:

“Who are you?” The answer came back: “I am the Archbishop of Canterbury!” And the orderly said: “5-6-7-8.”

The point of that story is this: It is so important to know who we are and who other people are. If we know what makes us tick… and what makes other people tick… we get along better. If we understand where we are coming from… and where other people are coming from, we relate better. There is more compassion, more empathy and more kindness.

That’s why in recent years we have heard so much about personality tests. Employers, counselors and job-placement agencies are using them effectively. You may have heard of the Birkman Personality Profile. I want to use it this morning as a way to study our passage of scripture: So, let’s try it this morning as we look at this somewhat confusing Mary and Martha story in Luke 10.

Dr. Roger Birkman, who is a psychologist in Houston, has developed a fascinating computer personality profile, which suggests broadly speaking that there are four different personality styles. Let me outline them for us. See if you can find yourself or someone you know somewhere between the lines.

1. First, there is the action-oriented doer. This person is “action-oriented” and strong-willed. The autocratic doer means business and everybody else better get out of the way.

2. Second, there is the detailed planner. This person “plans the work” and then works the plan. The detailed planner’s personality is precisely what the name implies – one who thinks things through in great detail, one who plans ahead, one who wants things done neatly, orderly and systematically. The detailed planner does really well… as long as no one messes up the plan.

3. The third personality style according to Dr. Birkman is the enthusiastic salesperson. This person has no plan. The enthusiastic salesperson is a “people person” who operates on personality… and has the strong ability to wow people and win them over and sell them on his or her ideas and dreams.

4. A fourth personality style suggested by the Birkman profile is the artistic poetic philosopher. This person is more “soulful,” more tuned in to beauty, reverence and awe. The artistic poetic philosopher is creative; one who enjoys quiet and pensive moments of solitude, one who can tune in to the wonders of the universe, one who can experience a sunset or a Brahms melody and feel in that experience the presence of God nearer than breathing.

Now, Roger Birkman has developed an interesting way of clarifying these four personality styles, so that we can recognize them more quickly and easily. He says, “Imagine that you have nine cats in a house and that your task is to get the cats out of the house. How would you do it?”

How would the action-oriented doer handle this? Well, obviously the action-oriented doer would take charge and say “scat!” and the cats had better get out if they know what’s good for them!

The detailed planner on the other hand, would number the cats, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… in calligraphy!… with neat tags attached to the right side of each cat’s collar. Then the detailed planner would make nine neat holes in the wall and number them 1 through 9 in calligraphy. Cat One must go out Hole One, Cat Two must go out Hole Two, Cat Three must go out Hole Three and if Cat Four runs out Hole Seven, then the detailed planner’s whole world is thrown out of whack!

The enthusiastic salesperson would say, “No problem, piece of cake, I can handle this.” Then the enthusiastic salesperson would open all the doors and windows, get some warm milk and cat food, go outside and say “Here Kitty! Kitty!…” and convince the cats that they are a lot better off outside anyway!

Meanwhile, the artistic poetic philosopher would say: “What in the world am I doing worrying about cats??”

The point of Roger Birkman’s computer personality profile is obvious: We are different and when we recognize, understand, respect and celebrate our differences we get along better. This idea is rooted deeply in the Bible. It is one of the key themes of Paul’s letter to the church of Corinth. Some are prophets and some are teachers. Some are action-oriented, while others are pensive and thoughtful. Some are poetic and some are autocratic. Some are loud and some are quiet.

We are different people with different personalities, different styles, different temperaments. And, that’s okay! Indeed it is necessary as long as we are loving and tolerant about it.

Now, with this as a backdrop for our thinking, look with me at this remarkable passage in Luke 10 where Jesus comes to visit in the home of Mary and Martha. Put on your amateur psychologist hat and see if you can psychoanalyze Mary and Martha and figure out what their personality styles are… and how their personality styles impact the story.

Remember the story with me. All morning long there had been a bustle of excitement in the home in Bethany… Jesus was coming for dinner. Martha was so excited. Since daybreak Martha has been sweeping, scrubbing, dusting, checking recipes, darting in and out of the kitchen… frantically preparing the food and putting the place in order for this special occasion…

Every moment now is precious. Time is a-wasting. So much to do. So many details to cover. Then, Jesus arrives… and look what happens. Mary whisks in to take over as hostess. She welcomes Jesus and the disciples warmly and ushers them into the living room. There is a certain urgency about the moment. The Master is on His way to Jerusalem and the cross. He begins to talk to His friends. He has so much to tell them, so much to teach them… and so little time.

They listen attentively, especially Mary. Mary has positioned herself at the feet of Jesus and she is drinking in His every word. How good to have Him here! How good to hear Him again! How good it is just to be in His presence!

Meanwhile, Martha is out in the kitchen, slaving away… preparing the meal, polishing the silverware, cutting up the fruits and vegetables, checking the last minute details, doing the one hundred and one things which in her super-efficient mind needed to be done.

But here is the problem. All the while Martha is working feverishly, she is seething inside! Her indignation mounts… She gets more and more aggravated, more and more frustrated… She feels more and more put upon, more and more stressed out. “Where is Mary? Why isn’t she in here helping me? Who does she think she is… sitting in there with our guests… and leaving all the dirty work to me? Surely, Jesus can see the injustice of this situation,” Martha reasons.

Finally, unable to contain herself any long, her resentment erupts… and she bursts out of the kitchen… into the living room and she makes a scene! Have you ever been in a scene before? Martha makes one here. She cries:

“Look at this Lord. I’m having to do all the work here. Don’t you care that my sister Mary has left me to serve alone? You get on to her now. Tell her to get out here in the kitchen and help me!”

But Jesus says to her. “Martha, Martha, don’t be so worried and troubled about so many things. Relax. Lighten up. One thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion which shall not be taken from her.” End of story.

Now, look at these personality styles. Have you figured them out? What about Mary? Do you have her pegged? Well, of course, she is the artistic poetic philosopher, who is thrilled to just bask in the warmth of that moment. She is stirred, thrilled, touched and inspired by the presence of Jesus.

How about Martha? Well, obviously, she is the detailed planner. She has planned this event to the nth degree. She has covered every detail. She has worked her fingers to the bone in her super-efficient way. Yet, here in the story, Jesus rebukes Martha. It’s a gentle rebuke, but nevertheless He did speak words that compared Martha unfavorably with her less practical sister Mary… and the question that explodes out of this story is “Why?”

Not for a moment should we imagine that Jesus was unappreciative of Martha’s intense desire for a job well done. Not for a moment should we imagine that Jesus thinks artistic poetic philosophers are better than detailed planners.

No! Not that at all. If Mary had been seething, he would be rebuking her. You see, Jesus was not concerned about what Martha was doing outwardly, but rather about what she was feeling inwardly! His concern was for Martha herself! He was concerned about her attitudes! How perceptive He was. How quickly He could size things up. In a moment with a brief glance, He could penetrate right down into the innermost motives. He could see right down into the inner recesses of a person’s soul. Let me hurry to say: This is no criticism of detailed planner personalities. We need them. Every church, every business, every family needs Marthas. We need detailed planner personalities.

But, when Jesus looked at Martha that day in that emotional scene, He saw some red flags, some warning signals, some danger signs, some destructive attitudes within her which were more harmful to Martha herself than to anyone else. Jesus loved Martha. They were good friends… and that day, He saw in her some hurtful attitudes that were working in her like “spiritual poisons”… petty attitudes, which can devastate and destroy the soul.

Let’s look at these dangerous attitudes which were in Martha. We may find ourselves… or someone we know… somewhere between the lines.

When Jesus looked at Martha that day, He saw deep down inside of her… first of all… the dangerous attitude of…

I. RESENTMENT…

Martha was resenting Mary. In my opinion, there is nothing more destructive to our spiritual lives than resentment. It can absolutely ruin your life… and Jesus knew it. It concerned Him to see this dangerous attitude of resentment in Martha.

In the Greek language, there are two words for anger. There is Thumos – a kind of “quick anger” which quickly blazes up and just as quickly dies down. And then there is “Orge`” … This is a kind of “seething anger”… a brooding anger, an anger that is long-lived. It is the anger of the person who nurses his or her wrath to keep it warm… an anger that festers and will not die. That is “Orge`”… a seething, burning, brooding anger … and that is what resentment is made of.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks repeatedly about the dangers of resentment… and He says in effect:- Beware of resentment… it is dangerous!

- Beware of brooding, seething anger!

- Beware of resentful gossip!

- Beware of the contemptuous resentful tone or attitude!

All of these are murderous… they are all devastating.

We see it here in the Mary and Martha story in a couple of dramatic ways:

1. First, notice the words used to describe Martha… three words – distracted, anxious, troubled. That’s what resentment does to you!

2. But, even more, her resentment cut her off… not only from her sister, Mary, but also from her Lord. The same thing happened to the Elder Brother in the Prodigal Son Parable. He resented his brother… and it cut him off from the Father.

That’s how resentment affects us and that is why it is so dangerous. It separates us from people… and it separates us from God!

In this episode, what is Jesus saying? Simply this… beware of the dangerous attitude of resentment. It can devastate your soul!Secondly, there is the dangerous attitude of

II. NARROWNESS…

Martha is done in by her narrow perspective. Martha thinks her way is the only way… and she wants to force her way on Mary!

Martha’s view has become so narrow that she can’t see any other way to receive the Master, but her way. She is blind to the miracle of “uniqueness.” She forgets that we are all different, that we are individuals and that each of us has a unique relationship with our Lord.

How often I have seen this “narrow attitude” cause problems theologically. Some people think their religious experience is the only valid one… and they try to force their way on everybody they meet.

They don’t understand that God is big enough to relate to each one of us differently, individually, uniquely, personally.

Let me illustrate. Some years ago in another church a party was given to recognize a married couple for their outstanding work in the church’s youth program. Let me tell you about this couple. I will call them Betty and Bill. They had very different personalities.

Betty was vivacious, out-going, gregarious, affectionate... a hugger. If you gave her a “bow ribbon,” she would jump up and down and squeal with delight and then run around and hug and kiss everybody in the room.

Bill, on the other hand, was the opposite. He was quiet, reserved, shy, stable, balanced. If you gave him a Mercedes and a trip to Hawaii, all he could do is say a quiet and sincere “Thank you.”

Now, on this particular night Betty and Bill were given a surprise party. The young people jumped out from their hiding places, shouted “Surprise!” and then gave Betty and Bill a present. It was a beautiful plaque.

Do you know what Betty did? She read the plaque out loud. She squealed with delight. She cried. She jumped up and down and then ran around the room hugging and kissing everybody in sight. Meanwhile, Bill waited… and when she was through he said quietly: “I want to thank you also!”

But that is not the end of the story. Betty turned on Bill. She got mad at him… and she made a scene:

“Look at you Bill. You don’t appreciate anything. If you did, you would act like it. You would do like I do!”

But, you see Bill can’t act that way. He just isn’t made that way. He is not wired up like Betty is. He can’t act like her, can’t respond that way. If he did, it would be fake, artificial, embarrassing.

You want to say: “Betty, Betty, leave him alone. Don’t force your way on him. Let him do it his way. Let him be Bill!”Now, I have to tell you hugs and kisses are great, but I also know that Bill’s quiet “thank you” is just as real, just as genuine, just as valid.

In this episode with Mary and Martha, Jesus is saying, beware of the dangerous attitude of narrowness. It can devastate your soul.

III. THIRD AND FINALLY, THERE IS UNKINDNESS.

Don’t miss this now. When will we ever learn? Martha tried to make herself look good by making Mary look bad and it “boomeranged” on her and she came out (in this instance) the unattractive one. Ultimately, it happens every time. Our harsh, condemning judgments come back to haunt us. When we are unkind to others, we are the ones who end up looking bad.

Some time ago, there was an article on marriage…a rather routine article, except for one great statement, one of the greatest statements about marriage relationships. It said this:

“If you are ever in a situation where you have to choose between making either yourself or your mate look good, ALWAYS CHOOSE TO MAKE YOUR MATE LOOK GOOD RATHER THAN YOURSELF!”

Jesus would have liked that counsel… and He would have enhanced it by saying, “Always choose to make other people look good rather than yourself!”

That kind of kindness “boomerangs” too. It comes back to bless. I know a woman who lives like that… always bragging on others and encouraging others, always making others look good rather than herself. And the fascinating thing is that everybody who knows her loves her and respects her and appreciates her and admires her because of her unwavering kindness.

The point is clear: What we send out comes back! If we send out unkindness, it comes back to haunt us. If we send out grace and love and compassion, those come back to bless us.

In the Mary and Martha story, Jesus is teaching us a great lesson about our inner attitudes and He is saying… Beware of resentment, beware of narrowness and beware of unkindness. Choose instead the way of grace and love and compassion.