When Death Comes Too Soon

How can you summarize the life of Curtis Ryan? The words of the obituary convey nothing of the real personality that was shown through his life. They list some brief facts, but they are too fragmentary to express the full impact of his life upon yours.

All of us realize that life is a gift of God and we somehow vaguely realize that death is a part of living.

James, the Apostle, said: "For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away."

James was reminding us that life is a fragile thing. The death messenger comes to every person who draws a breath of life in this world. No one can escape it ... Death comes to the King in his palace ... Death comes to the beggar beside the road ... Death comes to those who don't want to live ... and Death comes to those who want desperately to live.

Death is a reality and it comes to each of us.

Curtis had been having some medical problems and recently the doctors operated and removed part of his lung. He was recuperating nicely from that surgery. I saw him the morning after the surgery and he was feeling good. In fact, the doctor had just been in and said he was doing fine.He was transferred out of the Intensive Care Unit and into a room. He was doing fine. But, late on a Friday night, he began having trouble and was put back in Intensive Care. He was to remain there because some infection was invading his system. Tests were run. Antibiotics were administered. But all that medical science could do was not enough.

Last Thursday, everything came to a crisis point. And Curtis knew that death was close. He was weak, but alert. As Beth sat holding his hand, he looked at her and asked, "When?"

Death is always a tragic thing, but at the end, Curtis seemed to be at peace. He quietly slipped through the valley of the Shadow of Death with his family around him. He passed from this life to a life with God.

So, even though there is sorrow over the death of one that you knew, there is also a sense of relief - relief that he is no longer in pain. We know that life is a gift, a gift that we have and share for a little while, and we vaguely realize that death is a part of living. We are never prepared for the reality of death. It's tragic swiftness sometimes leaves us shocked. The hurt is deep and real.

But, life is a gift! It is only when we see it as a gift that we can conquer the mountain of grief that comes with the loss - the death of one we love. Even in the midst of the pain of the loss, we can look to God with a sense of gratitude ... with a sense of thanksgiving.

I do not mean to say that such a perspective makes things easier. It does not lessen the pain. It does not dispel our grief. But, I believe that it does make the pain bearable when we remember that this life, the life of Curtis Ryan, was a gift to us, a gift to us that we shared for a little while, and we are able to thank God that we shared this life.

For Beth, he was a husband. You shared your love over 44 years. There are many memories which you will hold. You will remember meeting at the Roller Skating Rink while he was stationed here in the army. You'll remember that you thought he was crazy after your first date and he said he was going to marry you. You'll remember the joy you shared in raising your son. You will remember that you two were very close and always together - whether it was a trip to the store or a vacation trip. You'll remember the trip you took just a few weeks ago to Santa Fe ...

There are many things you are going to remember, but the one thing you will remember is your love.

For David, you are going to remember him as a father. He had a big influence on you. In fact, so much of who you are is your father's influence in you and it is being passed on to your own two boys.

You are going to remember many things about your father. You are going to remember the fishing trips ... his working with you in the Scouts ... and when you were planning your wedding, you wanted your Father to be your best man because he was your best friend.

For Carolyn, you will remember him as a father-in-law who helped you run a hot house tomato business in Guthrie ... He was more than just a father-in-law, he was someone special to you. You wrote about how special he was in a poem last Father's Day.

To Curtis - A Special "Father-in-Law"On Father's Day - June 21, 1987

You accepted me into your familyAs though I were your own.And you always seem to make me feelThat I truly do belong.

You're always there to give adviceOr lend a helping hand.And if I choose not to take it,You always understand.

You helped me through the thick and thinOf tomato plants and such.And without you I couldn't have done it -Thank you very much.

You're more than just my husband's dadAnd you're special to him too.But if I could choose a "second dad" -It would definitely be you!

I Love You,

Carolyn

Others who are here will remember him in different ways. A sister will remember growing up together in Ohio and frequent Saturday phone calls to say, "Hi there." Others will remember fishing and hunting trips - even to the extent of once putting a plastic bag over a cast on a broken leg. There are so many ways that each of you will remember Curtis. It's easy to allow sorrow to take over, but I hope you will hold onto the special memories. When you do, you will realize his life was a gift you shared for a little while.

We can also thank God that death is not the end of any life. Our hope and our faith in God is our promise that death is not the end of life - for death may claim our bodies, but not our souls. The God we know in Jesus Christ assures us that death is not the end, but a doorway into his presence. There is a poem by Nancy Byrd Turner which affirms this idea. She wrote:

Death Is A Door

Death is only an old doorSet in a garden wall.On quiet hinges it gives at duskWhen the late birds call.Along the lintel are green leaves;Beyond, the light lies still;Very weary and willing feetGo over that sill.There is nothing to trouble any heart,Nothing to hurt at all,Death is only an old doorIn a garden wall.

Death is a doorway through which we pass into the very presence of God. What this next life is like, we may not be able to know because our finite minds cannot comprehend that which is infinite. But, we can hold onto the promise of Christ that there will be no more pain ... no more sorrow ... no more mourning ... no more crying. If we learn to look at death in this light ... if we learn to trust God even in the presence of death, then we can say as the Apostle Paul said:

O death, where is thy victory?O death, where is thy sting?The sting of death is sin, andThe power of sin is the law.But thanks be to God, who gives usthe victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.