There is an old, old story about a cantankerous, crabby old man. His neighbors avoided him. His four boys moved away from home as soon as they could. You get the picture. His poor wife stood by him, but it was not easy.
One night he went to bed and just slipped away.
His four boys were called in. What should they do? “He was hard to live around,” one of them said, “and no one could get along with him, but he was our pa. We owe him a decent burial, out in the meadow beyond the field.”
So they went out to the barn and found some boards and made a casket. They put the box on their shoulders and carried it out past the barn. As they passed through the gate, one of the boys bumped into the post and this caused them to drop the box. The casket broke open and the cantankerous, crabby old man sat straight up.
He was alive! He had only been in a very deep . . . sleep!
Well, life got back to normal. He lived two more years, just as ornery and mean, cantankerous and crabby as ever. The boys could go back to their homes, but his poor wife had to stay and put up with him.
Then one night he went to bed and just slipped away . . . this time for good.
His four boys were called in. What should they do now? “Well,” said one of them, “he was hard to live around, and no one could get along with him, but he was our pa. We owe him a decent burial, out in the meadow beyond the field.”
So they went out to the barn and found some boards and made a casket and put the old man in it. They put the box on their shoulders and started out of the house. And as they did, their mother--the old man’s wife--said sternly, “Boys, when you get out by the barn . . . BE CAREFUL GOING THROUGH THAT GATE.” (1)
That cantankerous old man should have read our lesson for the day: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Do you imagine that bitter, cantankerous people have no idea that their attitude is an offense against God? That is what the writer of today’s lesson is saying: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God . . . Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice . . .” Is there anyone you are bitter against?
Dr. David L. Brown tells about a man who died with bitterness in his heart. His name was Sigmund Freud. As you probably know, Freud was one of the most influential psychotherapists who ever lived, though many of his theories have not held up very well over the years. But Freud was not a happy man.
Armand M. Nicholi, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, tells us that Sigmund Freud died at the age of 83, a bitter and disillusioned man. Tragically, this Viennese physician had little compassion for the common person. Freud wrote in 1918, “I have found little that is good about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all” (Veritas Reconsidered, p. 36).
“Freud died friendless,” says Dr. Nicholi. “It is well known that he had broken with each of his followers. The end was bitter.” (2)
How sad--to find little that was good in his fellow human beings--to consider most people trash. Freud, of course had a very dim view of religion. No wonder he didn’t find much good in people. I don’t want to sound like I’m blowing our trumpet, but I wish he could know some of the people I’ve come to know in this church and other churches. There is so much that is good.
Oh, I’ve run into a few cantankerous folks in church--you know who you are, just kidding, of course--but on the whole, church people are loving, caring, decent human beings. As for those who have a problem with bitterness and resentment, all we can do is keep on loving them until they change.
Paul says that followers of Christ are to get rid of six vices. These six vices are: 1. Bitterness, 2. Rage, 3. Anger, 4. Brawling, 5. Slander and 6. Malice. Sounds like a session of Congress, doesn’t it? Do you have any problems with any of these six vices? If so, then you need to work on them. We all know that, don’t we? For our own good we need to get rid of these destructive emotions.
Reader’s Digest had an article recently on what the author called the “Angry Heart.” According to this article, anger can lead to real heartbreak. A person’s risk of having a heart attack increases nearly fivefold within two hours of having an angry outburst. That is what a recent Harvard University review of more than 6,000 people who experienced a cardiovascular event showed.
But it isn’t just heart attacks. The risk of stroke increases by more than threefold. Anger causes a rise in your heart rate and blood pressure and makes blood vessels stiffen, straining the cardiovascular system. (3)
We know each of the six so-called vices--bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and malice are our enemies. But how do we get rid of them?
We begin by choosing the right role model. If the person you choose to follow, listen to, pattern your life after is an angry, bitter, hate-filled individual, then you probably will be too.
Who is your role model? Your choice of a role model tells a lot about you.
Some of you will remember the 1987 motion picture Wall Street starring Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen. There was a 2010 version of Wall Street, but it did not have the impact that the original did.
The original film tells the story of Bud Fox, played by Charlie Sheen, a young stockbroker who falls under the influence of Gordon Gekko, played by Michael Douglas, a sleazy but wealthy, power-hungry, unscrupulous corporate raider.
The film sought to portray the greed and excess of the 1980s. It is the film in which Douglas’ character, Gordon Gekko, declares what became the motto of the 1980s, “Greed is good.”
The film, which won the Academy Award for Best Actor for Michael Douglas, did a magnificent job of portraying what happens when profits become more important than people, when greed is valued more than goodness.
The film was intended to be an exposé. The tragically ironic aftermath of the film, however, was that, rather than causing people to despise such people as Gordon Gekko, many young people began to identify with him. The film inspired these young men and women to go to work on Wall Street--not to undo the damage of people like Gekko--but to be just as power-hungry and manipulative as he was.
Michael Douglas has commented over the years that people still approach him to say that they became stockbrokers because of his character in the film. Role models can be either positive or negative, but still they are important. Who is your role model?
Legendary motivational speaker and writer Zig Ziglar tells about his role models.
Zig’s father died when he was just five years old. His mother had a fifth?grade education and still had six of twelve children at home too young to work. Because of the kindness of Mr. John R. Anderson, who ran a local grocery store, Zig and his younger brother went to work before they were really able to be of much help.
Mr. Anderson was a successful businessman of impeccable character, says Zig, and he had such a huge positive impact on him that he named his first son after him. By “successful,” says Zig, he doesn’t just mean materially. He was the kind of man a young boy could model his life on.
He goes on to say that Mr. Anderson and his meat?market manager, Mr. Walton Haining, were both godly men who showed him what it meant to be a person of character--to be honest and accountable and hardworking. Zig believes that God provided these men in his life at a time when his own role model, his father, was taken from him. He says he doesn’t know how he would have turned out had these two men not impacted his life so deeply at a young age. (4)
Role models are important for young people, aren’t they? Of course, their best role models should be their parents. But adults need role models, too.
A story appeared in the Christian Herald several years ago. “A senior executive of one of the largest banks in New York told how he had risen to a place of prominence and influence. At first he served as an office boy, then one day, the president of the company called him aside and said, “I want you to come into my office and be with me each day.”
The young man replied, “But what could I do to help you, sir? I don’t know anything about finances.”
“Never mind that!” said the president. “You will learn what I want to teach you a lot faster if you just stay by my side and keep your eyes and ears open.”
“That was the most significant experience of my life,” said the now famous banker. “Being with that wise man made me just like him. I began to do things the way he did, and that accounts for what I am today.” (5)
If you want to be better than you are right now, spend time in the company of someone who embodies the virtues you would like to acquire. Or be a mentor and role model to someone else who is just beginning the journey.
Mark Roberts in his book, Dare to Be True, tells about a friend years ago who decided she wanted to run a marathon. Even though Nancy had been a faithful jogger for many years, she had never tackled a full marathon. Someone suggested she join a track club, where focused training and regular encouragement would help her fulfill her dream. Nancy joined a club near where she worked, and when she returned from her first workout, Mark asked her how it went. “Awful,” was her immediate response. “Terrible. I think I’m the worst runner in the world. The other people in the club run three times faster than I do. They run; I just waddle. Maybe I should quit the club.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Mark said, trying to be reassuring. “Give it another try. I’m sure it will be better.”
So Nancy went back, but she returned just as discouraged as before. Still trying to be positive, Mark told Nancy he’d go with her the next time to see what was wrong.
When they arrived at the college where Nancy’s club trained, he understood why Nancy felt so out of place. She had joined the famed Santa Monica Track Club. She was working out with the best runners in the world--literally. Members of the club included Carl Lewis and Evelyn Ashford, both of whom won Olympic gold medals in 1984. As Mark watched Nancy run around the track at a respectable pace, the others were indeed going three times faster than she was. No wonder she was feeling a bit outclassed!
Mark waved Nancy over to the side of the track and explained: “They do run a lot faster than you do, Nancy, because they’re the fastest runners in the world! Next to them, we’d all look pretty pathetic. So don’t compare yourself to them. Just keep on going and you’ll be fine.” Feeling relieved, Nancy kept training. The coach and other members welcomed and encouraged her. Being part of the club helped. Her track mates became her role models. Nancy never won a gold medal in the Olympics, but she did complete her first marathon in an impressive time. (6)
Who is your role model? Whose life would you choose to emulate? If you choose a spiritual role model, it will have to be Jesus. No one else comes close. As St. Paul writes: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
The best way to rid yourself of bitterness, anger and resentment is to make a conscious commitment to pattern your life after Jesus. Learn to imitate Christ.
“It seems to me,” write Rev. Mike Hayes, “that imitation is written right into our DNA. Young moms know what I’m talking about. When things get real quiet in the house mom knows it’s time to investigate. When she begins her search for her little girl she finds her in the bathroom with her little feet stuck deep into her mom’s shiny high heels. She’s leaning into the mirror, just like mom, while she smears lipstick on her little lips. The ‘imitation gene’ doesn’t go away with age. Teenage boys wear a Kevin Durant jersey while they shimmy at the free throw line. A young artist will sit for hours and trace over the works of the Masters hoping one day to rise to the standard of the greats. Aspiring dancers practice for hours on end the dance moves of their favorite dancer.” Paul tells us, in Ephesians 5:1-2, that there is no higher goal, no greater aspiration, for the people of God than to imitate God.” (7)
And where do we best see God except in Jesus Christ? And what was Christ like?
He was the man for others. The only malice, anger or bitterness he ever showed was toward wrongdoers, and he even forgave them. What was Christ like? He never looked down on anyone, never called anyone a sinner, he welcomed all into his family. He was never exclusive, always inclusive. He was a friend like no other. To be in his presence was to be in the presence of love, healing and hope. As a friend, he lay down his life for those he loved. No greater love has any person for his friends than to lay down his life in their behalf. What was Christ like? Use your imagination and try to see pure unconditional love walking among us. That is how we are to be.
That is our challenge for the day. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and malice says St. Paul. Replace them with kindness, compassion and forgiveness. Let Christ be your role model. Live and love as he did and begin a new life with him.
1. Danny Morris in Spirits Laughing, pages 17-18. Cited by Bishop Kenneth Carter, http://day1.org/3360-the_hand_of_god_on_the_shoulder_of_a_troubled_world.
2. http://www.firstbaptistchurchoc.org/Sermons_06/grieving.htm.
3. Reader’s Digest USA.
4. Better than Good (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2006), pp. 155?156.
5. Don Loomer, Hitting the Target (Xulon Press, 2010).
6. (Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press, 2003), p. 82.
7. http://www.brittonchurch.com/2012/07/29/the-imitation-of-god-ephesians-51-2/.