Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, I spent some time this week investigating the whole chicken and road dilemma and here are some of the best explanations I’ve found:

Machiavelli:

The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Thomas de Torquemada:

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary:

Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

John Locke:

Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Darwin:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.

Jerry Seinfeld:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask…