The popular notion in our society is that the best way to choose a marriage partner is to wait until we "fall in love" with someone. By that, we usually mean that we wait for some kind of feeling, some emotional response to a person of the opposite sex that convinces us that we can never be truly happy again unless we can spend the future with that person. And often the feeling we experience is one of ecstatic joy and excitement.

But there are a couple of realities about falling in love that aren't quite as exciting. One is that we are just as likely to fall in love with someone with whom we are ill-matched as with someone who is a good match for us. The emotional experience we call falling in love is absolutely no guarantee that the object of our affection is in any way a good marriage c…