Some consider it a secret. Others consider it almost a badge of honor. Some don't want to talk about it. Others almost seem to want to brag about it. What is it? It is "adoption." Some children won't find out that they are not being raised by their biological parents but by their adoptive parents until they are in middle school or even later. Other children are aware of their adopted status from the earliest days of their childhood. It is not something of which to be ashamed. It is essential to their identity. It is something that makes them unique and of which they can be proud.

The parents usually decide how they are going to unveil their child's adoptive identity. Those who choose to do it gradually over a period of years are fearful of what full disclosure might mean to their child an…