Who doesn’t like an “attaboy!” when they do something good? It’s why we have “honor society” in school. It is the reason we have scholarship awards as we head into college. “Attaboy!” stands behind all those accolades high achievers get throughout life — Rhode’s scholarships, purple hearts, Silver stars, gold statues, merit raises for school teachers, making partner in a big firm, getting re-elected (in any organization, at any level). “Attaboys!” reward the gracious, good, above-and-beyond behaviors we see in others. Good persons deserve good things.

The problem is that our vision of “good behavior” can get extremely myopic, extremely near-sighted. We only are able to see the good in those who stand closest to us. Those far off become, if not “bad,” at least “other.” “Otherness” is perha…