Nobody in this country knows how to do anything anymore. There was a time when average Americans could get together and, in one afternoon, build an entire barn. Yes! A barn! Can you imagine average Americans doing that today? Not a chance! They'd spend weeks debating the membership and organizational structure of the Barn Architect Selection Committee, whose members would then get into a lengthy squabble over the design of the logo to appear on their letterhead. Ultimately this issue would become a bitter and drawn-out dispute, be taken to court, and the people involved would start complaining of depression and anxiety, and psychologists would announce that these people were victims of a new disease called Barn Committee Logo Dispute Distress Syndrome, or BCLDDS, which would become the subject of one-hour shows by Oprah and Sally Jessy Raphael, after which millions of Americans would realize that they, too, were suffering from BCLDDS, and they'd form support groups with hotline numbers and 12-step programs.

That's what we modern Americans do. Anything but actually BUILD THE DARN BARN.