Not long ago I encountered the father of five boys. I asked him about his secret for parenting, "Never let them see the fear in your eyes," he said, as he reached for a picture of his fellows. Four of them appeared to be elementary school age and one a preschooler. The image showed them all decked out in war paint and two in camouflage clothing holding toy rifles. "The guns were from Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas," he said, rolling his eyes. "They're from Oregon," he added, as if that meant something. What a season!

We go to such great effort to make this a festive, exciting, meaningful, and memorable time. We create festivals at the church and festivities in the home. Each family and friend plans for an idiosyncratic expression of love. We create a charged concoction mixing Santa and…