Growing up, we are taught never to use the “F” word. We all know what that means. It’s simply not “nice” language. Not “relational” language. We’re taught that the way we speak matters, that the words we use can either make or break our most important relationships. These kinds of lessons help us to navigate our emotional and relational world. If we want to build bridges instead of burning them down, it helps to use appropriate words, even when we feel angry and bitter.

In our western culture, we’re taught some lessons that help us tremendously in our relationships. But unfortunately, we’re also unconsciously imbued with some that don’t help us very much. They may not be as overt as what words are best to use, but they are the kinds of subliminal messages that seep into our minds and play…