I hate to admit it, but I admire advertisers and their ability to sell us products we didn’t even know we needed. Some of these advertisers are geniuses at convincing us that if we just had their product, it would fill some hole in our lives and would bring us complete satisfaction.
One of the more famous ads along these lines came out in the early 1970s. It was an ad for Schlitz Beer. The ad implied that Schlitz Beer was the ultimate beer experience. The tagline went like this, “You only go around once in life: Go for all the gusto you can.” Remember that advertising slogan? What does that even mean? I don’t know, but consumers loved it. Everyone knew the Schlitz Beer tagline, even those who didn’t drink beer.
There’s a term you’ll hear advertisers use today, and it refers to a recent phenomenon in our society. It’s called “FOMO”—the Fear of Missing Out. It’s the idea that someone somewhere is having a better time than we are, living a richer life than we are, attending a better party or taking a better vacation than we are, and that we’d better cram as many experiences into our life as possible so we don’t miss out on the good life. After all, “You only go around once in life....”
FOMO is popping up in other areas of our society as well. When the stock market was soaring in early 2018, many experts attributed it in part to FOMO—people were afraid of missing out on great returns on their money. Later many of them wished they had placed their money somewhere safer.
The origin of FOMO seems to have come from an article written by a young man named Patrick McGinnis at Harvard Business School around 2003. Patrick and his buddies were young, ambitious, and reasonably well-off. In their early twenties, they experienced the collapse of the dotcom and tech stocks in 2008, which drastically affected the stock market. They also experienced 9/11 and the terrorist planes crashing into the Pentagon and the World Trade Center. These experiences created a lot of anxiety in these young people, and a desire to live life to the fullest, because you never knew when it would all fall apart.
Patrick started noticing that he and his friends were cramming their social schedules with as many parties, events, adventures as possible. But they didn’t seem to be enjoying these experiences. Instead, they had a nagging feeling that somebody somewhere was having a better time than they were. Patrick wrote an article about this situation, and he called it FOBO—the Fear of Better Options. This later became the phenomenon FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out. Patrick describes it this way: “All you wanted to do was live life to the fullest at every second. You felt the need to do everything all the time because you’d seen your own mortality.”
Texting and the rise of social media made FOMO even worse. Suddenly, you could let friends know that you were at the coolest new restaurant in town, or you could post pictures of yourself at a much-desired vacation spot. Now everybody felt this instant pressure to do more, to search for some new and amazing experience or adventure that they could impress their friends with. And a new issue arose, one that counselors called “decision paralysis.” Suddenly, people were so overwhelmed by their options and so driven by the Fear of Missing Out that they literally couldn’t make a decision, couldn’t commit to anything, because if they committed to one party, or place or option, then they might miss out on other, better options. As one of Patrick McGinnis’s friends says, “(FOMO’s) actually an amazing acronym, because it captures the essence of life.” (1)
Can you relate to what he’s saying? Is the Fear of Missing Out really the essence of life? I can see his point about wanting to live life to the fullest. But is all this anxiety and chasing down better options what a full life is all about?
I think Jesus is addressing this question in our passage today. But his definition of living life to the fullest is different from ours. Two sisters, Mary and Martha, open their home to Jesus. Martha wants to be the good host, so she rushes around fixing the meal, setting the table, taking care of all the details. Now let’s be clear about this: Marthas are vitally important in our lives. Some of us would be in trouble if we didn’t have a Martha to make sure things get done. Still, the hard work and attention to detail of the Marthas of this world often get overlooked.
One mother was trying to explain the health benefits of a colorful meal to her family. “The more colors, the more variety of nutrients,” she said. Pointing to their dinner, she asked, “How many different colors do you see?”
“Six,” volunteered her daughter. “Seven if you count the burned parts.” (2)
Another woman says, “I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals. Forget calling them ‘Veal Parmigiana’ or ‘Turkey Loaf’. . . If you look in my freezer you’ll see [labels that say things like], ‘Whatever,’ ‘Anything,’ ‘I Don’t Know,’ and, my favorite, ‘Food.’ That way when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, I’m certain to have what he wants.” (3)
It’s really tough to be a good host, to take care of others’ needs, especially if no one seems to appreciate your efforts.
Martha’s sister, Mary, wants to be a good host too, but she has a different way of approaching it. She sits at Jesus’ feet and listens to him teach. When Martha complains to Jesus that her sister isn’t helping, Jesus says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Mary reminds me of a wonderful story about an eleven-year-old boy named Tyler Sullivan who skipped school one day, but it was for a good reason. Former President Barack Obama was visiting his hometown for a big event, and Tyler’s dad was introducing the President to the crowd.
Imagine his teacher’s surprise when Tyler presented her with a note the next day, written on presidential letterhead. It read, “Please excuse Tyler. He was with me. Barack Obama, the president.” (4)
Jesus defends Mary’s neglect of her hosting duties by saying, “Please excuse Mary. She was with me. Jesus, the Messiah.” Please don’t misunderstand. He isn’t trying to pile more guilt on Martha’s shoulders. But he’s trying to teach both sisters about the essence of life. Life is short. You only get one go-around. Don’t get lured into using up your energy on what doesn’t matter. Only one thing matters. It is the better option. And it can’t be taken away from you. I believe it is the best cure for FOMO there is—sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Jesus is saying here, “Don’t miss out on the opportunity to know God.” Our society promotes backwards priorities. We promote achievement and consumption and cultivation of the self over our relationship with God. Yet God is our Creator. The Way, the Truth, the Life. What good is our life if it is not reflecting God’s glory and conforming to God’s plans?
Lewis Grant came up with the perfect term for what happens when we put temporary, selfish ambitions ahead of our love for God and others. He calls it “sunset fatigue.” When we come home at the end of a day’s work, those who need our love the most, those to whom we are most committed, end up getting the leftovers. Sunset fatigue is when we are just too tired, or too drained, or too pre-occupied to love the people to whom we have made the deepest promises. And that includes God. (5)
All of Martha’s rushing around to serve Jesus was draining her. She was developing sunset fatigue. If she didn’t stop and just enjoy Jesus’ presence, then he would end up getting the leftovers of her love and attention.
Jesus is also saying here, “Don’t miss out on the opportunity to give love and to receive love.” After all, this is the true essence of life.
A pastor named Stuart Sacks tells of serving a church in Paraguay. One day, a native Maka Indian man named Rafael came to visit Sacks. When Sacks asked Rafael what he wanted, Rafael replied in his language, “I don’t want anything; I have just come near.” Rafael just wanted to sit on Sacks’ porch and be near his new friend. He just wanted to enjoy his presence. (6)
Many of us were raised in a legalistic church. Worship is our weekly obligation. We show up because it’s expected, because we believe it will make us a better person, because it will help us get into Heaven. But that is the wrong way to approach worship. Worship is about enjoying God’s presence. It’s about giving and receiving love. Did you know that’s the purpose of worship? Did you expect love when you walked in here today? How sad it would be if you missed out on that opportunity.
Finally, Jesus is saying here, “Don’t miss out on the joy of living in this moment.” Because God made you for joy.
Erwin McManus in his book Seizing Your Divine Moment writes, “What if you knew somewhere in front of you was a moment that would change your life forever, a moment rich with potential, a moment filled with endless possibilities? What if you knew there was a moment coming, a divine moment, one where God would meet you in such a way that nothing would be the same again? What if there was a moment, a defining moment, where the choices you made determined the course and momentum of your future? How would you treat that moment? How would you prepare for it?. . . the only moment that you must take responsibility for right now is the one in front of you . . . the moment you are in right now waits to be seized…” (7)
Best-selling Christian artist David Crowder had a moment like that--an experience that changed his views on God. He was in high school, and he regularly attended church. He thought he had God all figured out. However, one particular day, he was feeling down. He wandered around his local mall, then bought a chicken sandwich and sat down to eat it. As he bit into this delicious sandwich, David suddenly realized that all good things come from God. And tears filled his eyes as he realized how grateful he was to God. This happened, not in a church, not in a Sunday night youth group, but in the middle of a mall food court. He described the experience as a moment of unexpected joy. He writes, “That’s when I realized that every second is an opportunity for us to experience God. There’s not a second he’s not there and available to us.” (8)
Every second is an opportunity for us to experience God. If we're afraid of missing out on something, this is the experience we should be afraid of missing. If we're going to spend our lives chasing something, this is what we should be chasing. God is in this moment. It’s God we don’t want to miss.
Author Dale Dauten tells a truly memorable story about a dramatic moment in one man’s life. In the 1950s, Dr. Don Cooper was working the emergency room at a Kansas City hospital. In a seemingly tragic moment Dr. Cooper accidentally injected a tranquilizer too quickly into a patient, and the patient went into immediate cardiac arrest and died on the table.
The patient had absolutely no heartbeat. Dr. Cooper was so upset over his mistake that he slammed his fist down on the man’s chest. Instantly, the patient revived. Imagine that—a surgeon so angry that he slams his fist down on a patient’s chest so hard that he brings him back to life. Now, that’s kind of funny.
But here’s what’s interesting. Dr. Cooper was so afraid of admitting his mistake that he kept this incident a secret for many years afterwards. Sadly, his fear kept Dr. Cooper from seeing an amazing opportunity right before his eyes. If he had published his findings, he could have been instrumental in the development of cardiopulmonary resuscitation, or CPR. Instead, it would be almost ten years later before CPR was developed as a standard treatment in cases of cardiac arrest. (9)
So what are you doing in this very moment? Are you daydreaming about last night’s game or tomorrow’s work? Or are you seizing this very moment to pray, to focus on God, to look for the Creator of the Universe to speak to you and fill you with His love? You only get one go-around. Only one thing matters, it is the better—make that the best—option, and it can’t be taken away from you. Or to put it in New Testament language, if you are suffering from FOMO, the fear of missing out, make sure you’re not missing out on the Kingdom of God, God’s presence and rule in your life. That’s the only moment that really counts.
1. Ben Schreckinger, “The Home of FOMO,” Boston Magazine, July 29, 2014.
2. https://www.rd.com/joke/eat-the-colors-joke/.
3. MONDAY FODDER, http://family-safe-mail.com/.
4. Nick Schifrin, “President Obama Writes Fifth Grader’s Excuse Note,” ABC News, June 3, 2012. Cited in Max Lucado, Unshakable Hope (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2018).
5. John Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2002), pp. 77-82.
6. Contributed. Source: Leadership magazine. Date unknown.
7. (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2002).
8. “One Great Sandwich” by Dave Crowder, https://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/truelifestories/ithappenedtome/7.28.html.
9. The Max Strategy (New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1996), pp. 73-74.