Sacrificial love has transforming power. Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. It if is, so much the better; but if it isn't, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised. Conversely, it is not only possible but necessary for a loving person to avoid acting on feelings of love. I may meet a woman who strongly attracts me, whom I feel like loving, but because it would be destructive to my marriage to have an affair, I will say vocally or in the silence of my heart, "I feel like loving you, but I am not going to."

Our feelings of love may be unbounded, but our capacity to be loving is limited. Therefore we must choose the person on whom to focus our capacity to love, toward whom to direct our will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.