If the disciples were students and Jesus was professor the beatitudes would have come off a bit different. Jesus takes his disciples up the mountain and gathers them around, and says,

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are they who thirst for justice.
Blessed are you when persecuted.
Blessed are you when you suffer.
Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said, "Are we supposed to write this down?"
And Andrew asked, "Are we supposed to know this?"
And James asked, "Will we have a test on this?"
And Phillip said, "I don't have any paper."
And Bartholomew asked, "Do we have to turn this in?"
And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew asked, "Can I go to the boys' room?"
And Judas asked, "What does this have to do with real life?"

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and inquired of Jesus, "Where is your syllabus and lesson plan?"

And Jesus wept.