A fellow is standing at a bar, just looking at his drink. For a solid half-hour, he just stares at it. Suddenly, a big trouble-making truck driver steps up next to him, takes the drink and chugs it down. The poor schlemiel starts crying.

The truck driver says, "Come on, man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I can't stand to see a man cry."

"You don't understand," says the first fellow. "This day is the worst day of my life. First, I slept through the alarm this morning and got into the office late. My boss fired me on the spot.

"I left the building to go to my car and found, that in just the few minutes I had been inside, it had been stolen. The police were no help; they said I was probably out of luck. No duh!

"Luck? I got a cab to return home, and when I left it, …