Brian Rice of Maple Grove, Minnesota writes that recently his wife asked the question men most dread: “Honey, do you think I look fat in my new dress?”
Brian was up to the test. Pointing to what he was wearing, he replied, “Do I look stupid in this shirt?” (1)
It’s not easy to be married.
Comedian Wendy Liebman says she went through a messy divorce. She says, “My divorce was messy because there was a child involved. My husband.”
I expected to hear an “Amen” from some of the women.
One of the surprise off-Broadway hits this year was titled Old Jews Telling Jokes. It boasted an interesting story line old Jewish people who tell jokes. Here’s one of them:
During a bank robbery, the robber’s mask falls off. He puts it back on, turns to a man, and says, “Did you see my face?”
The customer says, “Yes, I did.” The robber shoots him.
He turns to a woman, “How about you?”
She says, “No. But my husband did.” (2)
One woman says that her husband went back to school after they were married and had children. They didn’t have much money for their family of seven.
At a friend’s wedding, her four-year-old daughter was sitting next to her when the minister asked, “Do you take this man for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?”
At that point she said her daughter turned to her and whispered loudly, “You chose poorer, didn’t you Mommy?”
There are worse things than choosing “poorer.” Marriage is tough nowadays. Maybe we can learn something from our Russian friends. I understand that in Russia the best man in a wedding must sign the marriage register guaranteeing that the union will last at least six months or he’ll pay a fine of 150 rubles.
That sounds like a pretty good incentive for a friend to help a friend stay married. Unfortunately that’s only $4.80 in U.S. dollars. I doubt if any best man would intervene in his friend’s marriage for $4.80.
In our lesson for today a group of religious figures ask a very interesting question about marriage. It’s a little unique but that’s what makes it interesting.
The question is posed to Jesus by a religious sect called the Sadducees. The Sadducees were the religious conservatives of Jesus’ time. They accepted only what was written in the Torah, the books of Moses, also known as the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible. For the Sadducees, the Torah was regarded as many conservative Americans regard the U. S. Constitution. If it’s not in the Constitution, according to these patriots, it won’t fly. That is how the Sadducees regarded the Torah. If it was not in the first five books of the Bible in their estimation, then it was not crucial to the faith.
For example, the first five books of the Bible say nothing about eternal life or resurrection or immortality; therefore, such things should not be taught as part of the faith, according to the Sadducees. Accordingly, they did not believe in Heaven or Hell.
Because their faith was restricted to the first five books of the Bible, they did not have the benefit of such writings as the book of Job which contains this witness: “Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll, that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead, or engraved in rock forever! I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him . . .” (Job 19:23-27) According to the Sadducees, there was no such thing as life beyond the grave.
So the question they posed to Jesus is quite surprising. “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. The second and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. Finally, the woman died too. Now then,” they asked, “at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”
Now, that’s a pretty grim story in fact it could be a Grimm’s fairy tale. We could call it “A Bride for Seven Brothers.” Forgetting for a moment the absurdity of the Sadducees who did not even believe in the resurrection posing this question about “whose wife she will be at the resurrection?” think what this example says about the place of women in society. In that culture, women were no better than property to be passed along to keep the family estate intact. Think about it. When a man dies, if he did not leave a male heir, his eldest brother was to marry his widow. This would continue the man’s name and keep his property “in the family.” In this scenario, the woman was passed among seven brothers. She outlives them all, but then she dies. “Whose bride will she be at the resurrection?” asked these Sadducees.
It was, of course, a trick question. These Sadducees had no interest in the intricacies of life after death. They didn’t even believe in such a thing. They simply wanted to get Jesus in trouble with the people. But Jesus was accustomed to scholars attempting to trip him up. Jesus, however, knew the Scriptures better than they did. Even more important, he saw beyond the Scriptures to the heart of the One who inspired the Scriptures, so he was never trapped by those who would discredit him. Notice his answer here. Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection. But in the account of the burning bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord ‘the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.”
Notice that Jesus does three things here. First of all, he met the Sadducees where they were. Secondly, he spoke to an uncertainty that many good people have about marriage. Finally, he answered the most pressing question of all of life is there life beyond the grave? Let’s consider each of these for just a few moments.
First of all, he met the Sadducees where they were. The Sadducees were people of the Torah, as we have already noted. If something wasn’t in the Torah, it could not be part of their faith. So Jesus answered them from the Torah.
He turns to the third chapter of Exodus, the story of Moses and the burning bush. You remember that wonderful story. Moses was tending the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. Moses led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that, though the bush was on fire, it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight why the bush doesn’t burn up.”
When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”
And Moses said, “Here I am.”
“Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.”
It is a wonderful story of faith. However, notice that God does not say, “I WAS the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.” Remember, when Moses wrote these words the three patriarchs had been dead for centuries, yet God refers to them in the present tense. This, says Jesus to the Sadducees, is evidence right there in the Torah that life after death exists. God says, “I am . . . the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” “God is not the God of the dead,” Jesus insists, “but of the living.”
Jesus answered the Sadducees in a way that they could understand. Jesus always meets people where they are. This is to say that none of us has an excuse when it comes to things of faith. If we are unsophisticated in our understandings, he will come to us with simplicity and patience. If we come from another faith, he will show us how the teachings that we prize most in our old faith point the way to him. If we come from a background of abuse, he will wrap his arms around us and gently bring us to a pure and wholesome relationship with him. Jesus always comes to us where we are if we will but open our hearts to him.
That is the first thing he did for the Sadducees, he came to them where they were.
Secondly, Jesus answered an uncertainty that many good people have about marriage. This poor woman outlived seven husbands. [Maybe, if we are mystery fans, we might be wondering what kind of secret poison she employed to get rid of each of these husbands. Just kidding, of course.]
“Whose wife,” asked the Sadducees, “would she be in the afterlife?”
Now I doubt that many of us lie awake at night wondering about whether we will still be married in heaven. We’re sophisticated people. We understand that marriage in this world is primarily defined as a physical relationship. In fact, the breaking of that relationship adultery is strictly defined in physical terms.
Heaven is not a physical place, but a spiritual one. We don’t know what our spiritual bodies will be like, but evidently they will not require us to live as husbands and wives. We even say in our vows, “Till death do us part.” That might be a relief to somebody in the room. I hope not, but it’s possible.
There was a survey sometime back that said that, if they had it to do over again, 70% of men said they would marry the same woman, but only 50% of women said they would marry the same man. Something to think about.
There are many good people who outlive their spouses. In fact, if we are married, half of us will outlive our spouses. We don’t want to be morbid about it. But death is simply a part of life. And half of spouses will one day be left behind. For most of us it will be a day of deep grief.
Eventually, however, the question may arise, “Should I take a new partner? Would that be a betrayal of the great love my spouse and I shared?” It is an emotional question. For some of you who have already dealt with this question, you may have discovered it was more emotional for other family members than it was for you. Sometimes children, particularly, can make their parents feel very guilty for all the wrong reasons.
The biblical answer to this question would be, by all means re-marry if that is where your heart leads you. Marriage is only for this world. Your beloved former spouse who is now with God lives in a different kind of world that knows no marriage, only pure and unrestricted love. You need feel no guilt, no sense of betrayal if someone else fills the loneliness you now find in your heart. Remember those vows, “till death do us part.”
And this brings us to Jesus’ most important teaching. In this lesson Jesus answered unequivocally the most pressing question in life is there life beyond the grave? And the answer he gave is, “Yes, there definitely is life beyond the grave.” He not only gave us that answer with his lips, he also gave it with his own life. “He is alive!” reported the women on their return from the empty tomb, and he was alive and he still lives this Jesus our Lord.
I know, to some of us this seems too good to be true.
The great preacher of yesteryear, C.H. Spurgeon, once addressed our natural skepticism about such things. He pointed to one of the most common technologies of his time. The reference he made is dated, but the principle is still relevant:
“The electric telegraph,” he said, “would have been as hard to believe in a thousand years ago as the resurrection of the dead is now. Who in the days of pack horses would have believed in flashing a message from England to America?
“Everything,” he said, “is full of wonder till we are used to it, and resurrection owes the incredible portion of its marvel to our never having come across it in our observation that is all. After the resurrection we shall regard it as a divine display of power as familiar to us as creation and providence now are.” (3)
Spurgeon’s language is archaic, but his rational is right on target. Of course living more than a hundred years ago he definitely would not believe in some of the marvels we take for granted today. What was considered yesterday is now a reality. Life calls for intellectual humility. Just because you have not experienced a resurrection, do not assume that it is impossible. The best advice I can give is wait and see.
Of course, some of us have experienced a resurrection already in our spiritual lives. As the old Gospel song testified, “You ask me how I know he lives, he lives within my heart.” That’s the best evidence of the risen Christ.
Dr. Ray Pritchard tells about the funeral of Sir Winston Churchill, the former prime minister of England. “Most of us know [Churchill] as the man who single-handedly rallied the British people in the darkest days of World War II when the armies of Hitler were poised to cross the English Channel. By the power of his words he gave courage to an entire country.
“Before he died he planned his own funeral service at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. The service itself was magnificent in every way, filled with biblical liturgy and great hymns. Just as the benediction was pronounced, an unseen bugler hidden in one side of the dome began to play Taps, the traditional melody signaling the end of the day or the death of a soldier.
“As the mournful notes faded away, another bugler on the other side of the dome began to play Reveille, the traditional melody signaling the coming of a new day. ‘It’s time to get up, it’s time to get up, it’s time to get up in the morning.’
“It was Sir Winston’s way of saying that though he was dead, he expected to ‘get up’ on the day of the resurrection.” (4)
I have that expectation, too, and I hope that you do as well. It is Jesus’ most important teaching a teaching he conveyed by his lips and his life. Life beyond the grave is a reality. Because he lives, we, too, shall live. After all . . . “God is not the God of the dead, but the living for all are alive in Him.”
1. Reader’s Digest (Reader’s Digest USA).
2. Ibid.
3. Charles H. Spurgeon in the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit (Vol.18). Christianity Today, Vol. 33, No. 6. Cited by Daniel D. Meyer, http://www.cc-ob.tv/search.php? series_id=40&category=Sermon.
4. http://www.keepbelieving.com/sermon/2000-04-23-Whats-Your-Problem-with-the-Resurrection/.