Sermon and Worship Resources

Showing 1 to 25 of 31 results

Woody Allen

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind—a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.

Woody Allen

Civilization stands at the crossroads. Down one road is despondency and despair, and down the other is total annihilation. Let us pray that we choose the right road.

Woody Allen

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Woody Allen

How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.

Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Woody Allen

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.

Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Woody Allen

If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.

Woody Allen

If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

Ninety percent of living is just showing up.

Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.

Showing 1 to 25 of 31 results

Woody Allen

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind—a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.

Woody Allen

Civilization stands at the crossroads. Down one road is despondency and despair, and down the other is total annihilation. Let us pray that we choose the right road.

Woody Allen

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Woody Allen

How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.

Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Woody Allen

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.

Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Woody Allen

If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.

Woody Allen

If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

Ninety percent of living is just showing up.

Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.

Showing 1 to 25 of 31 results