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Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.


A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

After looking at mothers-in-law and seeing sons-in-law – I always felt that the jokes were on the wrong ones. No sir, you can look through everything I ever did write or say, and you never did hear me tell a joke about any mother-in-law – or any creed, color or religion, either.


America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

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