Sermon and Worship Resources

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Steven Wright

How young can you die of old age?

Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Steven Wright

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

Steven Wright

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Steven Wright

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Wright

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'

Steven Wright

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

Showing 1 to 20 of 20all results

Showing all results

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Steven Wright

How young can you die of old age?

Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Steven Wright

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

Steven Wright

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Steven Wright

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Wright

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'

Steven Wright

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

Showing 1 to 20 of 20all results