Sermon and Worship Resources

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Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.

Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

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