Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your children are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Phyllis Diller
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.Phyllis Diller
