Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.George Burns
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better, and I'll tell you something else . . . I never lied better.George Burns
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.George Burns
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.George Burns
