An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston; it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.Fred Allen
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.Fred Allen
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.Fred Allen
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.Fred Allen
