... Ducks in Bali have been known to follow a flag stuck on a pole and have stayed within sight of it while they grazed in the rice fields. That's the way some people are. They will follow almost anything or anybody. Jesus wasn't really that concerned about what the masses ... knew the tallest through the shortest men in the company. Slim, the tallest, figured he had it made. He kidded his buddies about taking a look at the girls in the capitals and sending back picture postcards. Shorty, on the other hand, knew ...
... get them hooked up right away. The couple then sit around in their pj's discussing channel-surfing with their new buddy, all thoughts of their former togetherness abandoned. The theme in all of these commercials is that people are so ecstatic about ... some struggling poor family in what we call the third world if they wouldn't like to be able to choose something other than rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Ask some child who has seen only poverty and pointlessness if they wouldn't like the options of ...
... to church three times–when they're hatched, matched, and dispatch-ed. The first time you throw water on them, the second time you throw rice, and the third time you throw dirt. I never cease to be amazed at the excuses that people give for not coming to church. Sometimes ... preacher, that's not fair. I've got a lot of hogs that are nicer and bigger and fatter than that hog." The preacher said, "Buddy if it's fair for the church it's fair for the hogs." I know that there are hypocrites in the church. I know I ...
4. Fractured Christmas Carols
Luke 2:1-14 (15-20)
Illustration
No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly We three kings of porridge and tar On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire. He's makin a list, chicken and rice. Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel. With the jelly toast proclaim . . . Olive, the other reindeer. Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say . . . Sleep in heavenly peas . . . In the meadow we ...
... of some person. I looked and sure enough, I found names of people I knew. My mom and Dad, Mary, Joshua, my old High School buddies. I even found most of your clocks and name tags, all except for Marcus Stewart. Marcus Stewart's Clock just wasn't anywhere in sight ... enemy, Mean Max. Mean Max is hollering out things like: "Roast Pork, Potato Pancakes, Candied yams, Sticky Buns, Dumplings, Blueberry Pie, Fried Rice." Hagar has this look of desperation on his face as he says, "I'd love to know who told Mean Max I ...