Sermon and Worship Resources

Showing all results

1. Ten Commandments Quiz

Humor Illustration

... . "Early one Saturday morning Johnny's parents were going shopping," she ... the class responded, "Honor thy Father and Mother!" "Good," said the ... with his little sister one day and, grabbing her pet kitten ...

2. Pray For Rattlesnakes

Humor Illustration

... fallen away. There were the father and three sons, Jim, John ... least bit of good. One day when the boys were out ... do now, is pray." The father called the preacher and told ... him of John's condition. He asked the preacher ... 's recovery and this was his prayer: "O wise and righteous Father ... genuine repentance. "And now, O Father, wilt Thou send another snake ...

3. Dear Pastor

Humor Illustration

... Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives ... in the plate, but my father didn't give me a ... to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love ... League team. We need God's help, or a new pitcher ... 10, Raleigh Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the ...

4. Where did we come from?

Humor Illustration

A little girl asked her father, "Where did the human race ... come from?" Her father replied, "God made Adam and ... of Adam and Eve." Two days later the girl asked her ... girl went back to her father and told him what her ... is right?" Her father smiled and said, "It's really very simple ...

5. The Right Ancestors

Humor Illustration

... apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at ... the end of the day, I sold the apple for ... apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them ... $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two ...

6. Giving Up Hard Things

Humor Illustration

Peter's parents approached him about Lent. " ... would be worth it. Two days later, on a Saturday morning ... to give up drinking!" His father, flustered at being caught, stammered ... munching a MilkyWay bar. His father said to him, "Son, I ...

7. The Congressman's Daughter

Humor Illustration

... , you must be Congressman Tribble's little girl." She quietly explained ... just known as someone else's daughter. Her mother said to ... Tribble!''" Sure enough, a few days later, a group of people ... , Congressman Tribble must be your father!" The little girl looked right ... and said, "Oh, no! That's not what my mother says ...

8. Register at the Pearly Gates

Humor Illustration

On the third day, a bewildered, old man approaches ... at the Pearly Gates. "It's no big deal," St. Peter ... the old man. "Father," he cries out. "It's been so long ...

9. Don't Ignore Jesus

Humor Illustration

A concerned little girl approached her father one day and said, "Daddy, I just don't believe it's right to ignore Jesus." The father, more than a little confused, answered, "I agree with you. We shouldn't ignore Jesus. But what made you think of that?" "Well, it's that Christmas song we sing at church. You know, the one that says, 'O come let us ignore Him'."

10. Carrying Your Weight

Humor Illustration

King Duncan

... teenage son’s newfound determination to build bulging muscles, one father followed ... his teenager to the store’s weight-lifting ... ‘em every day.” “I don’t know, Michael. It’s really a ... commitment on your part,” the father said ... ’re not cheap either,” the father said. “I’ll use ‘em ... see.” Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and ...

11. Questions That Puzzle Me

Humor Illustration

... two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your ... thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going? Once ... ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio ... you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at ... was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? If ... white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on ... attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you ... ? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

12. Chauvinism In Action

Humor Illustration

... be from Kentucky . A few days after the election the president ... name is Debra, calls her father and says, "So, Dad, I ... don't think so. It's a 10 hour drive." "Don ... row sits the new president's dad and mom. Dad, noticing ...

13. Bless Our Ferrari

Humor Illustration

... is not always clear these days. For instance... The family had ... called a Roman Catholic priest. "Father, would you please come say ... styling! But tell me, what's a blessing?"

14. Your Father Is My Father

Humor Illustration

If you are left with the impression, as I am, that almost everyone in Hollywood's ruling hierarchy was related either by blood or marriage, it is a correct one. To this day the genealogies remain complicated and, at times, confusing all the more so because of the extremely high divorce rate. "My father can beat up your father," said one little Hollywood boy to another. "Don't be ridiculous. Your father is my father." (Tony Randall and Michael Mindlin, WHICH REMINDS ME, New York: Delacorte Press, 1989)

15. Catholic Horses

Humor Illustration

... , and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him ... the longest shot of the day. This time the priest blessed ... . Confronting Him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed ... sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants ...

16. What Causes Arthritis?

Humor

A parishioner asked his priest one day, "Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest fixed him with a critical glare and said, "Arthritis? What causes arthritis? Immoral living, that's what causes it. Smoking! Drinking! Running around!" With a bit of a smug look and an especially acid tone, he continued, "And why do you ask?" "Oh, no particular reason, Father," said the parishioner. "It just says here in the paper that the Pope has arthritis." (Contributed)

17. Unanswered Prayer

Humor Illustration

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

Showing 1 to 17 of 17all results

Showing all results

1. Ten Commandments Quiz

Humor Illustration

2. Pray For Rattlesnakes

Humor Illustration

3. Dear Pastor

Humor Illustration

4. Where did we come from?

Humor Illustration

5. The Right Ancestors

Humor Illustration

6. Giving Up Hard Things

Humor Illustration

7. The Congressman's Daughter

Humor Illustration

8. Register at the Pearly Gates

Humor Illustration

On the third day, a bewildered, old man approaches ... at the Pearly Gates. "It's no big deal," St. Peter ... the old man. "Father," he cries out. "It's been so long ...

9. Don't Ignore Jesus

Humor Illustration

10. Carrying Your Weight

Humor Illustration

King Duncan

11. Questions That Puzzle Me

Humor Illustration

12. Chauvinism In Action

Humor Illustration

13. Bless Our Ferrari

Humor Illustration

... is not always clear these days. For instance... The family had ... called a Roman Catholic priest. "Father, would you please come say ... styling! But tell me, what's a blessing?"

14. Your Father Is My Father

Humor Illustration

15. Catholic Horses

Humor Illustration

16. What Causes Arthritis?

Humor

17. Unanswered Prayer

Humor Illustration

Showing 1 to 17 of 17all results