Mrs. Reginald VanGleason decided to give a cocktail party at her mansion for her friends. She called in Nora, her maid of many years, and said to her, "I want you to stand at the door of the drawing room. As my friends arrive, I want you to call the guests’ names." Nora smiled broadly and replied, "Oh, thank you, ma’am, for twenty years I’ve been waiting to call your friends names." "To call a person names" means to abuse that person by calling him derogatory nicknames or insulting titles. A name to us is ...
...Comes from the 15th chapter of John's Gospel. I'm going to read verses 12-17. Let's share now this Word of the Lord. "This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard ...
In Ludington, Michigan, there is a street called “No Name Street.” I don’t know why. Perhaps the city planner simply ran out of names when they got to this one. Perhaps there was a comedian in the crowd. But how would you like to live on “No name street”? Imagine explaining that to the IRS! I. NAMES ARE FUNNY THINGS. My own name, which seems so simple to me, is often mispronounced. They want to call it Strobie. When they do, I tell them that I am a minister and each Sunday I get to wear a “robie.” I ...
How is it you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to us but to God. (Acts 1:4) We would like to think that we Christians are always theChristians we are supposed to be, but of course, it isn't true.We would like to think that the church is always the faithfulChristian community it is meant to be, but of course, that isn'ttrue either. Sometimes it's awfully easy to be disappointed inChristians and in the church as well. It's awfully easy to findChristians and churches which give ...
A doctor says to her patient, “I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer to hear first? The patient says, “Tell me the good news first.” The doctor says, “All right, the good news is that YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC.” Of course, the bad news is that you REALLY ARE SICK. A doctor takes his patient into the examination room and says, “George, I have some good news and some bad news.” George says, “Give me the good news.” The doctor says, “They’re going to name a disease after you.” AND ...
I know they’re corny, but I love good news/bad news jokes. We laugh at them because of the element of surprise, but also because we can relate to the scenarios in them. They appeal to the cynic in us that just expects the world to operate in that order--good news, then bad news. A young man phones up his dad at work for a chat. Dad says, “I’m sorry, son, but I’m up to my neck in work today” Son says, “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, Dad.” Dad says, “OK, but since I’ve got no time now ...
At Saratoga, on a battlefield that once was covered with British and American blood, there stands a monument, 155 feet high. The monument is there to commemorate that decisive struggle in which the British made their last stand over two centuries ago. Around the base of this monument are four deep niches, and in each niche appears the name of one of the American generals who commanded there. Above the names stand giant bronze figures on horseback. In the first stands Horatio Gates; in the second, Philip ...
Sometimes it seems like there are only two types of films being made today in Hollywood. There are “chick flicks” and there are “man movies.” Coming off Valentine’s date weekend, the cinema hormone level is heavy with estrogen. But don’t worry, gentlemen. With the approach of “March Madness” and the full court press of basketball, the testosterone level will climb steadily over the next month. These movie “types” are actually less about male vs. female, Mars vs. Venus than they are about the different ways ...
Names define us. Our entire identity is caught up in the names we bear. Think about it. If a child is raised being called sweet, good, beautiful, and kind, that child will think of him or herself as sweet, good, beautiful, and kind. If a child is raised being called worthless, stupid, ugly, or bad, that child will begin to think of him or herself as worthless, stupid, ugly, or bad. The human capacity for language association allows us to perceive ourselves conceptually and emotionally according to the ...
Have you ever felt "trapped between a rock and a hard place"? Have you ever experienced what we sometimes call "double jeopardy," where regardless of what you choose to do, you are "damned if you do and damned if you don't"? Perhaps you have seen a classic example of "double jeopardy." Someone is trapped high up in a burning building. They can't go back into the building because of the fire. But they can't jump either, because it will be to their certain death. Have you ever been on a frozen pond in the ...
A minister wrote in the church newsletter that he was setting goals for the New Year. One of his goals was to clean up his desk. Another of his goals was to find last year’s goals. Some of you probably keep desks like that. Some of you will remember the “Calvin and Hobbes” comic strip. In one strip, Calvin and Hobbes are talking about the New Year. Calvin says, “I’m getting disillusioned with these New Years. They don’t seem very new at all. Each New Year is just like the old year. Here another year has ...
Both Elizabeth and I hail from paper-mill towns. A few years ago the blue collar-redneck-good-old-boy logging town Elizabeth grew up in (Springfield, Oregon) found itself very interested all of a sudden in building sushi bars and trendy, high-tech fitness centers. Why? Sony Corporation seriously considered the town as a new factory headquarters site. Like every other economically struggling small town, the prospect of a large employer coming to town with deep pockets and wide wants encouraged the community ...
As we remember the terror of 9/11, we long for an answer to it. As we see lives blown apart by natural disasters, our hearts cry out with it. As the economy worsens and banks fail and businesses fold and more and more people lose their jobs, our souls seek satisfaction to this enigma. It is the age-old question that haunts us: “I wonder why bad things happen to good people?” This is a burning question for anyone who has experienced the horrors of life. Churches are flooded with people asking this question ...
Some of the most profound precepts we ever know come clothed in very basic and elemental forms. A "Peanuts" cartoon strip shows Charlie Brown visiting Lucy who is at her stand offering psychiatric help for a nickel. Charlie says, "I need help! Tell me a great truth. Tell me something about living that will help me." Lucy responds by asking, "Do you ever wake up at night and want a drink of water?" "Sure," Charlie responds, "quite often." Lucy then offers her advice, "When you're getting a drink of water in ...
"Moreover I have heard the groaning of the people of Israel whom the Egyptians hold in bondage and I have remembered my covenant. Say therefore to the people of Israel, ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment, and I will take you for my people, and I will be your God.’ " When someone does not care, bitterly we say in the vernacular, "He does not ...
Prop (Animation): Scale or coins (three types) and blackboard with the words: mene, mene, tekel, upharsin; clay pot Judging. It’s something we do almost without thinking. Judging. And justifying. And we’re so GOOD at it! We love to sit on our holy thrones (or in the case of football, cause it’s the season now –lounge in our armchairs) and cast judgments upon those people who are on tv, in the spotlight, on trial, or in any way aren’t in our circle of friends. Many of us judge our friends too! All you have ...
Exodus 20:7 "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not acquit anyone who misuses his name." Or, as the venerable King James has it, "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain..." On a bulletin board outside an Episcopal church recently was this message: "You say his name often enough on the highway. Why not try saying it in church? You'll feel much better using the Lord's name in prayer. Worship this Sunday."(1) Interesting. The Reuters news ...
Nobody wants to be a beggar. They used to come to our door, when I was a child, and my mother always fed them. They must have had a special language among them, for it seemed to us children that every hungry, needy beggar finally found his way to our house. Mother never turned one away. We were very poor ourselves, and when we would protest her constant kindness to them in giving them a free meal, our mother had a standard reply: "Now children, you know the Bible says ‘Inasmuch as ye did it unto the least ...
Once upon a time in the land of Uz there was a man whose name was Job. He was a man of sterling character who always sought to do the right thing. Above all he had respect for God and hated evil with a passion. His family consisted of seven sons and three daughters. God had blessed Job not only with a large family but he possessed seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred donkeys, and numerous servants who cared for his enormous amount of livestoc_esermonsk. He ...
Prop: YouTube Clip from the Emperor’s New Groove (provided below) and Ad for Discover Card. You can also optionally play some of the clip from Abbott and Costello. [Hold up a cell phone.] Technology. We love it. And we hate it. It makes our lives easier, faster, more convenient, for sure. But like any form of mediating communication, it can also confuse, convolute, cause misunderstandings between us. And we have enough trouble understanding each other without it! Remember the old skit from Abbott and ...
Public art. If ever there were fight'n words, these two simple words, "public art" would certainly qualify. The moment the intention for any new public artistic display is announced, the public outcry begins - an outcry that only reaches its full volume when the new piece is unveiled. The opening of the new Holocaust Memorial in the heart of Berlin is no exception. From the moment the memorial first became a topic of discussion seventeen years ago, the fur began to fly. Battles began between the German ...
Fido is in the dirt gnawing on a bone. It is dry, brittle, depleted of marrow and moisture. It is dead and useless except for stimulating the gums of Fido and giving his jaws some exercise. You approach Fido with your hands behind your back. Fido eyes you and is suspicious. You speak kindly to your canine friend. He wags his tail. He smiles his doggy smile keeping his paw firmly planted on the bone. Fido continues to sniff and chew on his bone. You slowly bring a hand out from behind your back revealing a ...
I forget now whether it was a famous football coach, a former president, or a positive-thinking teacher who put on his wall the motto, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" -- probably all three of them. In any case, I am aware of the fact that there are some people who pride themselves on being able to get motivated in tough situationns, to face head-on the tough issues. "Give it to me straight, Doc," they say to the surgeon, "I can handle it." They sign up for courses from the roughest ...
I read a story once about a man that was walking along a mountain road, and he saw an Indian lying in the middle of the road with his ear pressed to the ground. As he got close to the Indian, he heard this Indian talking in broken English. He leaned over to hear what he was saying, and the Indian was mumbling these words: "Truck, Chevy truck, Chevy pick-up truck, large tires, man driving, German Shepherd in front seat, loaded with firewood, California license plate, UBH123." Well, to say the least, this ...
GIVE THEM GOOD NEWS ...It'll totally disarm them! I have always been fascinated by radio preachers: Some are profoundly helpful and extremely gifted in the art of communication. Others are delightfully entertaining. But there are others that I fear do more harm than good. Such was the case when I tuned in a certain radio preacher while driving through the mountains of Western North Carolina. He had obviously been bombarding the air waves with his "hell-fire and damnation" preaching when his broadcasting ...