Do you remember the movie 1988 movie, Twins? It was comedy that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as, of all things, twin brothers. Even if you know nothing about the plot of the movie, the mental picture of those two actors standing side-by-side as twins is itself pretty funny. The setup for the move is that the brothers are the result of an experiment to grow a perfect man, who is the Schwarzenegger character, named Julius. But in the course of manipulating his genes when he's in the ...
I remember reading once about a group of troops who were waiting for both reinforcements and supplies. Things weren't desperate but they were getting close. They'd radioed headquarters several times and were finally given these instructions. "Troops and supplies are currently being deployed. Suggest you procure a pair of binoculars, go out on the roof and keep your ears to the ground." I've loved binoculars ever since I was a kid. Early in our marriage, I had to have a pair. They weren't very powerful but ...
You've probably heard that joke about the man who asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. So, on the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling, her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went for a Big Kids Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was ...
We are told that being tall gives you an advantage in our culture, particularly if you are a male. For example, taller men earn more money on average than their shorter counterparts. If you’re six-feet-two or taller, you’re likely to start a new job at a salary 12.4 percent higher than someone under six feet. It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair, but that is the way it is. Each extra inch of height is worth an extra $600 a year on average. In 1987 they did a survey of 1,200 MBAs. Average salary of those ...
This is probably one of the best-known vignettes in all of scripture, this wonderfully appealing story about friends who are so anxious to get one of their number who needs healing to Jesus that they will go to incredible lengths to make it happen. Hence, we have history's first recorded elevator ride. By way of background, Mark's gospel lets us know that there have already been a number of healings and exorcisms in Jesus' ministry — the man in the Capernaum synagogue with the unclean spirit, Peter's ...
We are too busy. A recent CNN Poll found out that 59% of the people felt overcommitted, overbusy, overstressed. In the past ten years, we have somehow lost eight-and-a-half hours a week of free time. I know that's true for me. I know I like a full plate. I like a busy schedule. Therefore, it is difficult for me to talk about slowing down. I needed help putting this message together. So I called several people this past week who are busy people and asked them, "How do you know that you are too busy? What ...
Today, we learn from two women. The first is the woman we met last week, Ruth. Her story takes up a whole book of the Bible. We hear her speak, listen in on her deliberations, and follow her story. The second woman is nameless and speechless. She appears in only one short vignette in Mark and functions as an object lesson that Jesus uses in the gospel narrative. We are to learn from what she does. They are rather different stories, but they have two things in common: They are both about widows and they are ...
John is an amazing character, isn't he? Not what we would expect as we come up to Christmas. What if, riding atop the last float of the Macy'sThanksgiving Day parade, there was not a jolly old Saint Nick, but a wild-eyed John the Baptist dressed in a glorified burlap sack? Even the perpetually perky Katie Couric would wince as she offered parade commentary from her reviewing stand, not quite sure what to say. But this is not midtown Manhattan and this is no Macy's extravaganza. It has been something of a ...
The front of local markets have been crammed full of candy for the past two weeks. [Get someone to take pictures of your specific local markets.] Halloween “Trick or Treat” might not be until the end of this month. But candy creators want us to stock-up and stock-pile. As a kid it was such a rush to come home after “making the rounds” of the trick-or-treat neighborhood and ceremoniously dump out all that candy crammed into our paper bag. Every piece would be inspected. Perhaps some cautious trades made ...
Today is "Temptation Sunday." Every year on the first Sunday in Lent we focus our attention on the story of the temptation of Jesus. It is a story that has captured the imagination of Christians for centuries. They have sought to portray in art what it must have been like for Jesus to have been tempted by the devil. The picture on your sermon outline this morning portraying this ugly, grotesque, devilish creature is typical of the way the evil one has been portrayed. If the devil looked like this, you ...
Our lesson today is on love. Now, obviously we’re not talking about romantic love, though sometime we might talk about romantic love. After all, it’s an important part of our lives. I read something funny recently. It was an announcement that was made in the chapel of a very conservative church college some years back. It went something like this: “On this campus there is to be absolutely no physical contact of any kind between male and female students. There is only one legitimate exception to this rule. ...
After a prolonged spate of bad news about the national and global economic situation, we welcome good news about the economy, even if it’s only a little bit of good news. Likewise, after a long illness, we enjoy hearing our physician tell us that things are going to look up for us soon. And who wouldn’t be glad to hear about their child or grandchild striking a winning rhythm at work after an extended season of losses characterized by his or her performance? Jeremiah welcomed the good news about God’s plan ...
Urbanites and suburbanites might have very different definitions of a “neighborhood,” but both daydream about the gladed landscapes and bucolic beauty of a truly rural setting. Who wouldn’t like to “get away from it all” for a while? Who wouldn’t want to experience a refreshing dose of peace and quiet? Who wouldn’t prefer a two lane gravel road instead of an eight lane “freeway” parking lot? Who wouldn’t trade fields of green for acres of asphalt? The only problem with this rural respite is that we really ...
Hurry up and wait! Hurry up and wait! Anyone who has spent time in the military has heard this and lived this as a part of their daily routine. Rapid flurries of activity are followed by long periods of waiting in line. Waiting seems to be part of life in every context. We wait in lines at grocery stores, department stores, banks, athletic events, concerts, motor vehicle offices, and government agencies. It seems like time passes with the speed of light on our way there and at the pace of a slug after we ...
There is a man in Chicago by the name of Slats Grobnik who sold Christmas trees. One year he noticed a couple on a hunt for a Christmas tree. Someone told him the couple was barely making ends meet. After looking at all the expensive trees they found a Scotch pine that was okay on one side, but it was really bare on the other one. They picked up another tree that was not much better. It was kind of full on one side and scraggly on the other. She whispered something in her husband’s ear and he walked over ...
Vesna Vulovic made history on January 26, 1972 and in doing so made the Guinness World Book of Records. It is not an honor that she wanted, was looking for, or particularly enjoyed. She was a flight attendant on a DC-9 that was flying over what is now the Czech Republic when a bomb went off and blew the plane apart. She fell 33,330 feet and going 122 miles an hour landed on the side of a mountain and even though she suffered a fractured skull, three broken vertebrae, and two broken legs, and was in a coma ...
Instructions for Groups of Believers Although this section has affinities to several passages in both the PE and the rest of the NT, the material nonetheless appears here in a unique way. It picks up the framework of 1 Timothy 5:1–2, where people are grouped by age and sex, and in verses 2–8 fleshes out some details, not in terms of Titus’ relationship to them but of their own attitudes and conduct. The language of the details echoes that used for the overseers, deacons, and women in 1 Timothy 3:1–13 and 2 ...
One of the most bizarre true stories to hit the news media in the 1990s was that of Tracy Lippard, a contestant destined for the Miss Virginia beauty pageant after winning the title of Miss Williamsburg, VA. Unfortunately, Tracy never made it to the Miss Virginia pageant. Instead, after crowning her successor as Miss Williamsburg, Tracy got in her car and drove 275 miles to Lewisburg, W.Va. Her goal was to seek revenge against her boy friend who had jilted her for another woman. Reportedly she carried with ...
The reaction of many of the Jewish authorities with whom Jesus has been speaking is to believe in him (v. 30), and the remainder of the discourse is focused on this group of “believers.” The prediction that they will realize later who Jesus is (v. 28) appears to be coming true even before they lift him up on the cross. It sounds, and it is, too good to be true. Their faith is not genuine (cf. 2:23–25). Jesus has directed their attention toward the future, but they will have none of it. The present is good ...
Big Idea: In the kingdom of God accepted human values of status and importance are turned upside down. Understanding the Text As the journey to Jerusalem nears its end, encounters with others on the way illustrate the principle expressed in 18:14b, and in so doing they reveal how far those around Jesus still are from grasping the true nature of God’s kingdom and the necessary pattern of Jesus’s own mission. Their incomprehension focuses especially on the issue of wealth, and thus it provides an opportunity ...
Big Idea: Paul anticipates here in verses 21–26 Martin Luther's famous question, “How can I, a sinner, stand before a holy God?” The apostle's answer is that at the cross of Jesus Christ, the judging righteousness of God (his holiness) is reconciled to God's saving righteousness (his mercy) such that God is at once both just and the justifier of him whose faith is in Jesus. Understanding the Text Romans 1:17–18 signaled two aspects of divine righteousness: saving righteousness and judging righteousness. ...
The reaction of many of the Jewish authorities with whom Jesus has been speaking is to believe in him (v. 30), and the remainder of the discourse is focused on this group of “believers.” The prediction that they will realize later who Jesus is (v. 28) appears to be coming true even before they lift him up on the cross. It sounds, and it is, too good to be true. Their faith is not genuine (cf. 2:23–25). Jesus has directed their attention toward the future, but they will have none of it. The present is good ...
Object: a rechargeable cell phone and its recharging stand Good morning, boys and girls. Do you like to talk on the phone? Who do you talk to? Phone can be very handy things. This is a cell phone, and before you can use it for anything, you have to charge it up. It needs energy before it will work. And the only way to get the energy into the phone is to connect it to the recharging stand. If you leave the phone connected to the recharging stand for a few hours, it will fill the phone up with energy. Then, ...
I don't know why but for the longest time I never thought of Jesus getting tired. Silly of me I suppose, but I kind of thought of him, in the brief time his ministry was going to last, going at it full tilt until the end. Stopping to pray, of course. But not going away, taking a break, not wanting anyone to know he was there. But now I get it. I was at Wendy's the other day. I was tired. I needed to get away from the phone and the other interruptions and just have some quiet time with this gospel text and ...
In 1992, Hurricane Andrew devastated Florida. It destroyed entire communities and killed 26 people, obliterated more than 25,000 homes, and damaged more than 100,000 others. I remember one news program was going through a residential area where it looked like every single home had been blown to smithereens by bombs. There, in the midst of all that devastation stood three houses. Each of the houses had sustained some damage, shingles off, broken windows, some siding torn loose — but they were still standing ...