When it comes to the subject of baptism, our Baptist friends seem to have all the fun. That is, the very nature of baptism of adults by immersion lends itself to loads of good humor. For example, there is a story of a seven-year-old son of a Baptist minister who decided to baptize his two cats. He chose the bathtub for this rite. One of the cats was a tiny kitten. It was dunked before it realized what had happened. But the older tom cat wanted no part of this strange ceremony. As the boy brought the cat ...
How many of you here this morning have flown on a plane this past week? Anyone here been this week on a bus or a subway or a train? How many of you this week entered a public building and had to push or pull open the door? Let me try this: anyone recently ridden an escalator or taken a stairway, and held the handrail? How many of you have pushed a grocery cart this week? I think we got just about everybody, and some of you we got multiple times. All of these actions, just normal everyday living, put you up ...
A little girl was riding along on her bike when she bumped her head on a low hanging branch of a tree. She ran into the house crying, “Mommy! Mommy, Joey hurt me!” Her mom looked up from what she was doing. She said patiently, “Sissy, Joey didn’t hurt you. Joey’s not even here. He went to the grocery store with your Dad.” The little girl got a startled look on her face. Then in a bewildered voice the little girl asked, “Does that mean stuff like this can happen on its own at any time [with no one being at ...
If I told you that God would send His son to this earth, that He would only live about 33 years and only the last three of those years would be how His life would be measured, what do you think He would do with those three years? Let’s make it personal. Suppose from the day you were born you knew you would only live 33 years and that your life would be measured by only the last three. What would you do with your life? It is indisputable that Jesus did more and accomplished more in the last three years of ...
An English missionary named Roland Allen once told about an older missionary who came up and introduced himself to him one day after he had delivered a sermon. The older man said that he had been a medical missionary for many years in India. He served in a region where there was an environmental condition that was causing progressive blindness in many of the people of that region. People were born with healthy vision, but there was something that caused people to lose their sight as they grew older. As ...
The text for today lifts before us Yahweh's choice of the family of David as the vehicle for God's divine gift to humankind. Yet the message marked a transition in David's status. According to the passage, David wanted to build Yahweh a "house." He proposed to do what all self-serving rulers in that ancient world would have done. Much of Israel's worship life was well established at that point. The tent which housed the Ark of the Covenant was a recognized institution. A conviction began to emerge that God ...
Matthew 6:1-4, Matthew 6:16-18, Joel 2:12-17, 2 Corinthians 5:11--6:2
Sermon Aid
George Bass
THEOLOGICAL CLUE The very title of the first day of Lent - Ash Wednesday, with its opening word, "Remember, you are dust, and unto dust you shall return" - has the theological clue for its observation embedded in it; Lent has to do with the human predicament of sin and death and points to the action God takes in the death and resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ, to resolve this situation. The cross announces forgiveness of sin, reconciles God and his children, and the resurrection completes the ...
Years ago, I remember hearing a speaker or reading an article about the Wycliff Bible translators in Africa. They always used the local people to help them translate the Scripture. In one particular area, the people were helping but without a whole lot of enthusiasm. No one even seemed to even be the least bit interested in the story of Jesus. Until they came to this passage and then the whole village began to buzz with excitement. The translators couldn't understand why, so they asked and were admonished ...
"... This Jesus whom I preach to you is the Christ." A conductor said to the Lt. Governor of the State of Pennsylvania, as he was boarding a train, "Go right up the steps, sir, turn left, and take a seat." But the Lt. Governor turned right instead of left and found himself in an empty car. He had just settled himself down when some twenty people, all dressed exactly alike, came in the car. The conductor said, "Sir, I think you’ll want to move into the other car. You see, these people are all from the ...
There is much speculation on the Internet about the origin of the time-honored toast, “Here’s mud in your eye!” Google the sentence and you will find numerous explanations as to its origin. Some say it became common in the trenches of Word War I as mud was everywhere, and in everything, including the drinks. But we know it didn’t originate there. The phrase was being bandied about in U.S. saloons as early as 1890 and was popular with the English fox hunting crowd before then. Others contend it comes from ...
Big Idea: Jesus and his followers are shown to be true adherents of the Torah, contrasting with the Jewish leaders who disobey the law and so are defiled even as they follow their traditions. Understanding the Text In this passage Matthew narrates another conflict between Jesus and the Pharisees and teachers of the law (15:1). This controversy, like the earlier one (12:1–14), focuses on Torah observance, particularly teaching traditions on the Torah. Matthew affirms Jesus as the one who rightly interprets ...
Suggestions: Use as an anthem. Readers: 1 woman as storyteller 4 men Key: 1 = storyteller 2 = disciple 3 = Jesus 4 = the healed man 5 = parent of the healed man 1: As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, 2: "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" 1: Jesus answered: 3: "Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is ...
This is a fun story, one of many in scripture that is good for giggles if we allow ourselves that reverent freedom when we encounter them. Engaging characters, international intrigue, and finally a denouement that is just pure fun. It is one more affirmation that our God is not only magnificent and mysterious but occasionally mischievous, as well. The cast. Naaman. His name means charm or pleasantness. Apparently, a relatively nice fellow as standards of his day would define nice. A powerful personage, too ...
Every sport seems to come with occupational hazards. Take baseball. Baseball pitchers tend to end up with gimpy, arthritic elbows. Take football. Football players can end up with rickety, rocky knees. Take ballet. Ballet dancers almost always end up with the most gnarled, nobbed, ugly stumpy feet you can imagine. In fact, once you've seen a dancer's unslippered foot, you can never watch the grace and beauty, the fluid movement across the floor and into the air, in the same way. How can they move so ...
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, is a place where the old ways matter. The Amish still ride their buggies up and down the green hills. Most churches have spires, and they frame the landscape with the proclaimed piety of their people. Change comes slowly. Sometimes that's good, especially when we're talking about the basics of the faith. Sometimes that's bad. Like when people refuse to change the little things. A lot of the churches, especially the Plain People like the Amish, Brethren, and Mennonite, ...
Dream and Search: A new scene opens with 5:2. The central man, who was the principal speaker throughout the fourth chapter, is no longer present. Now the woman’s voice predominates, occasionally punctuated by a question from the daughters of Jerusalem. The structure of the section is much like that of 3:1–11. It opens with an apparent dream report (5:2–7; compare 3:1–4), followed by an address to the daughters of Jerusalem (5:8; compare 3:5), a transitional question (5:9; compare 3:6), and a descriptive ...
Big Idea: God wants to promote life, virtue, and an awareness of his holiness among his people. Understanding the Text Leviticus 15 completes the section in Leviticus on uncleanness (Lev. 11–15). The preceding chapters have treated unclean animals (Lev. 11), uncleanness due to childbirth (Lev. 12), and uncleanness due to “leprosy” (Lev. 13–14). The present chapter (Lev. 15) treats uncleanness due to sexual emissions. All this prepares the way for Leviticus 16 on the Day of Atonement, a chapter that will ...
John 2:1-11, Isaiah 62:1-12, 1 Corinthians 12:1-11
Sermon Aid
John R. Brokhoff
Wine Miracle On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; 2 Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. 3 When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." 4And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come." 5 His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you. 6 Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty ...
Sexy stuff, huh? In our pew Bibles, the heading on the page we just read says "Song of Songs" but, as you know, in many Bibles the heading says "Song of Solomon." So saying, it is not generally thought that King Solomon was the author - granted he was a lusty fellow with 700 wives and 300 concubines, but that in itself, in my view, would mitigate against his authorship (when would he have had time?). More likely, Solomon's name became attached to the book in some sort of dedication. The original-language ...
Some newspapers carry a little cartoon called ZIGGY. Ziggy is one of those for whom life never seems to work out right. For instance in one cartoon, Ziggy sits in his chair and contemplates the week that has just ended. "Sheesh! What a week!!" he says. "MONDAY morning, my horoscope in the newspaper told me to go back to bed! "TUESDAY, opportunity knocked while I was out back taking out the garbage. On WEDNESDAY, my new bedroom set was diagnosed with Dutch-elm disease! "THURSDAY, my phone rang three times ...
It's a phrase we still use today: he has dirty hands. We could be referring to hands that are soiled from doing good honest labor. The mechanic who works on our car may have dirty hands but it is no discredit to him. It comes with the territory. The farmer may have dirt all over his body from working all day in the fields. And we honor him because he or she helps feed our world. There is no disgrace in having dirty hands. Unless, of course, we mean it in a metaphorical sense: his hands are soiled with ...
Lots of people lament the “long goodbye.” They find lengthy leave-takings overly sentimental, or maudlin, or awkward and uncomfortable, or even just bad luck. For those who want to say goodbye as swiftly as possible, the post-911 security rules at airports that require kicking your loved one to the curb, instead of lingering and waving at the gate, were a blessing. But Jesus was a “long good-byer.” In all four of the gospels, Jesus spends much of his time talking with his uncomprehending disciples about ...
Luke 19:28-44, Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, John 12:12-19
Sermon
Lori Wagner
[Optional Prop: Door frame and Cross] If you’re like many people at this time of year, you are anticipating the great Easter Feast, especially if you gave up something you love for Lent. What was it for you? Was it chocolate? Did you go on a special diet? Those are the most popular. But I’ve heard a couple of really unusual ones too, like not using your curling iron for the duration of Lent. Or declining to watch your favorite tv show. And then there are the really strange ones. In fact, if you google ...
Life doesn't always hand us what we want when we want it. In those times there's the temptation to shortcut, or to do the unethical, or to run from the problem. It's then that we need to keep our eyes on our goals and keep plugging along, honestly and diligently. A farmer's crops failed one year because of the drought. The previous year there had been too much rain, and it had flooded everything. The year before that he'd suffered due to an influx of imports. Discouraged, the farmer went fishing far off ...
Somewhere I read about a family that decided to vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car. While there, they visited the Royal Gorge Bridge. This bridge is a little scary to drive across. It stands more than 1,000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, the dad noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past them, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath their feet. “I don’t think I want to drive the car across this bridge,” said the father nervously. “What are you ...