"Five Things Christians Should Never Say," #5 A would-be burglar in Pennsauken, N.J. needed to make sure the door to the company he was looting wouldn't fully close while he was burgling the place, so he stuck a piece of paper in the door. The piece of paper was a traffic ticket he'd been issued for driving with a cracked windshield. Police found the ticket, with a name and address on it, still in the door the next day, which proved helpful in their pursuit of the burglar, who was arrested at his home in ...
Have you ever wondered where sermons come from? I have. Especially when I first entered the ministry. I had an idea what I was going to preach about next Sunday, and a pretty good idea of what I would like to say a week from next Sunday; but I wondered: what on earth I would find to preach about five, ten, fifteen or twenty years down the road? Fortunately, thanks to the limitless resources available in the Holy Scripture, I never ran out of sermon topics in forty years of parish ministry, but the whole ...
The disciples were distressed. They had good reason to be. Jesus had just told them that He was about to leave them. The One whom they had loved most in all the world was going to go away. Soon they would be on their own. How would they carry on without Him? How could they face the world without the encouragement and support of His presence beside them? It seemed to be the end of everything. Then it was that Jesus said some very strange things to them. He told them that it would actually be to their ...
I wonder about folks who proclaim their theology through the medium of bumper stickers. I have wondered ever since I read about the fellow who honked when he saw the bumper sticker, “Honk if you love Jesus,” only to be greeted by an obscene gesture from the driver of the other car. I suppose “Have a nice day” is harmless enough, but I recently came across one which said: “Don’t tell me what kind of a day to have!” A few years ago there was a campaign which plastered bumper stickers on cars with the caption ...
Two-year-old son Jack leans on his father’s knee. His rumpled baseball jersey bears a fresh spaghetti sauce stain from that night’s dinner. "Daddy, tell me a bunny story." Rob tears his gaze away from the computer screen. "What was that, son?" asks Rob. "Tell me a bunny story," says Jack. "One with a truck in it." Rob sighs as his glance swings back to the screen. His paper is due in two days. His professor tries to be sympathetic, but there are only so many times she’ll let her students stretch a deadline ...
It's time to update your resume! If you're a part of the workforce of the early twenty-first century, that's a common-sounding statement. Job security is almost nonexistent. Competitive wages might mean a couple dollars above minimum wage. Advancement could very well propose that for your good efforts you would be awarded more work for the same salary. Benefits rarely include 100 percent paid insurance and retirement fund, but rather offer you both at cost to be deducted from your paycheck. With those ...
Walk onto the parking lot of any car dealership and you have entered the most hallowed ground of Status-Symbol Central. Nobody loves their cars like we do in the USA. A car symbolizes first freedom for teenagers. It's a taste we seem to crave until our final days. But obviously there is far more to an automobile that simply an independent means of transportation. Look around the car lot. Do you see any Ford Warthogs? How about a Chevy Leech? A Dodge Kudzu or Pontiac Pansy-ragwort? How about a Cadillac ...
Pastor John Jewell once counseled with an engaged couple who wanted to be married on Christmas Eve. This pair of love birds chose Christmas Eve because, as they said, their love for each other was the greatest gift they could give. So romantic, don’t you think? Then, a few days before the wedding, the love birds showed up in Pastor Jewell’s office with their feathers definitely ruffled. The young man had given his beloved an early Christmas present. “That’s a bad thing?” Pastor Jewell asked. The young man ...
The United States is known around the world as a "Christian nation." There are several reasons why one might think that is true. In America there are: 1,485 Christian radio stations 300 Christian television programs 96% of all Americans are "believers in God" 70 million born-again believers 148 million professing Christians 62% of all Americans say they have "made a commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today." Now if America is indeed a Christian nation, you would think that God ...
Channelview, Texas is a neat middleclass suburb of Houston. It is a typical bedroom community of nice homes, nice cars, and nice families. Competition is fierce in all sports, but recently the competition got more than a little intense—not in football or in basketball, but in cheerleading. Amber Heath and Shanna Holloway lived right around the corner from each other. They had been friends for years. Amber was president of the Student Council and Shanna was Vice President. Their mothers were also wonderful ...
Do you ever feel as if you've lost the cutting edge; you're not hitting on all eight cylinders; you're swimming in mud and running in tar; you just can't get it together? I want to share with you some stories that are absolutely true. They actually happened, and I believe you will agree with me that these are people who had lost the cutting edge: An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded ...
The number one question asked in this country for the last six weeks is - "Have you seen ‘The Passion'?" If the answer is "No" the next question is "Are you going to see it?" If the answer is "Yes" the next question is - "What did you think about it?" There is no question that Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion of the Christ, is as the Spanish put it, en fuego – it is on fire! In Hollywood parlance it is a blockbuster. Geologists would give it a "10" on the Richter scale. Motown would say, "It is off the ...
The Island of Rodriguez in the Pacific Ocean, not that far from Zanzibar, has mainly managed to stay out of the notice of history, if history is the record of slaughter and disease. But thanks to extraordinary events far, far away it managed to impinge itself on human history on at least one occasion. On August 27 of 1883, James Wallis, chief of police on RodriguezIsland, not far from Zanzibar, wrote: "Several times during the night (26-27) reports were heard coming from the eastward, like the distant roar ...
I'm not sure when the term "burn out" ceased being only a description of what happened to a campfire when you ran out of firewood to a term describing the experience of long-term exhaustion and diminished interest, usually coming immediately after an extended period of overwork, but the expression seems to fit that later situation, doesn't it? Exhaustion, deep weariness, all used up, nothing more to give, wiped out, burned out — call it what we will, its symptoms are all too familiar to many of us. A study ...
Characters (in order of appearance) Director Lead Angel Stage Manager Angel Choir Youth Choir Mary Clark Shepherd 2 Narrator Shepherd 3 Shepherds King 1 Angels King 2 Lead Shepherd King 3 Young Shepherd Props Clipboards with paper Script Doll Manger Gifts for Baby Jesus from Wise Men Notes This is a “play within a play,” which tells the story of one youthful actor’s search for the real meaning of Christmas, and how he finds it at a Christmas pageant rehearsal. Because it is set in a church auditorium at an ...
The season of Lent has arrived. It's time to repent and believe the Gospel. We are encouraged to remember that we are mortal, as if our bodies would ever let us forget. Lent is a 40-day period of self-examination and self-denial — except for Sundays. Tucked into these forty days are six “little Easters" — days to remember that God in Jesus Christ gives us the victory over sin, over death, over all that destroys our relationship with Him. So this First Sunday of Lent, I invite you not to the wilderness of ...
How much do we miss when we don't really look? Edgar Allan Poe explores that question in his short story, The Purloined Letter. As the story begins, two men are sitting in an apartment in Paris smoking their pipes and enjoying each other's company. They are not much for conversation; they go for an hour at a time without saying anything. One of the two men is the brilliant detective, Auguste Dupin, who had earlier solved the Rue Morgue murders. A police inspector drops by. Clearly agitated and anxious he ...
Some time ago, I was riding a train through central England and a man boarded at one of the stops. As he looked for a seat, he saw my face and beamed at me with great joy. "Hi, Will!" he said brightly, in a wonderful British accent. Unfortunately, I'm not Will. When he sat next to me and I opened my mouth to protest his mistaken notion of who I was, my flat American English paved the way for his embarrassment. Obviously, I was not the person he expected. Nevertheless, we got along "brilliantly," as the ...
It is one of the great adventure stories of all time. A man named Thor Heyerdahl wanted to test the theory that people from South America could have settled the Polynesian Islands in the South Pacific long before Columbus sailed to the New World. So Heyerdahl took a small team of men to Peru, where they constructed a raft out of balsa logs. These logs were tied together with rope much as a group of sailors might have done in earlier, less sophisticated times. Heyerdahl named the raft the Kon-Tiki. He and ...
Have you ever thought about the company you keep? Who you hang with? The people you associate with? Most of us don't. Our parents did or do when we're teenagers. Who you are associated with, who you're friends are, sometimes says a lot about who you are. Sometimes who you choose as friends says a lot about your own reputation. In the movie Shanghai Noon (which is rated PG-13) Jackie Chan plays Chon Wang, a Chinese imperial guard who is on a mission to save a kidnapped Chinese princess in the Old West. He ...
Some of you will remember an old comedy team from the early part of the twentieth century named Oliver and Hardy. They produced some marvelous work. Their comedy was slapstick, but it also showed a deep understanding of human nature. Conrad Hyers, in his book And God Created Laughter tells about an early Laurel and Hardy film from 1925 titled Big Business. Stan and Ollie are Christmas-tree salesmen in California going from house to house in a Model T truck loaded with trees. The story begins innocently ...
A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. “Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “Are you giving up?” Welcome on this Mother’s Day. It’s not easy being a Mom. Those of you who have children know it’s not easy, regardless of their age. One Mom says that she’s going to try something different next ...
Charles Simpson of Mobile, Alabama tells of meeting a young man who dives for exotic fish for aquariums. This adventurous young man said that one of the most popular aquarium fish is the shark. He explained that if you catch a small shark and confine it, it will stay at a size proportionate to the aquarium. Sharks can be six inches long yet fully matured. But if you turn them loose in the ocean, they grow to their normal length of eight feet. (1) Mother Nature is amazing. How does the shark know that it ...
The golf course was crowded with golfers one pleasant fall morning. Bob was standing in front of a tee preparing to swing at his ball. He visualized hitting a beautiful shot that would carry hundreds of yards. As he was standing there lost in his thoughts, an announcement came over the public address system: “Would the gentleman standing at the women’s tee please back up to the men’s tee?” Bob ignored the announcement. He continued his pre-shot routine. Again, the announcement came across the PA system: “ ...
The 1935 comedy “A Night at the Opera,” starring Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, and Harpo Marx, has been given the honor of being selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. A smash hit at the box office, “A Night at the Opera” was the first film the Marx Brothers made after Zeppo left the act, and the first film they made for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer after leaving Paramount Pictures. There is a moment in the film when Groucho Marx, in the character Driftwood, says, “It’s all ...