An old Reader's Digest story tells about a family who moved to Seattle from Texas. The whole family was missing Texas, especially when Christmas was just around the corner and the whole place was covered in snow. We like it snow on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve, just as long as it's all gone by the time we get on the road to go to visit our families, right Well anyway, this woman said she went to pick up our first-grade son from school, his teacher told me about a conversation she overheard as the ...
One of the venerable old saints of the church jumped up and stomped out of the annual Christmas play being held at the church. The pastor couldn't figure out what was wrong so he hurried after him. When he caught up with the old man in the parking lot and asked what was wrong he was told, "Preacher, I've gone along with a lot of changes through the years, but this thing tonight just went too much, I mean who ever heard of the Three Wise Men walking up to the baby Jesus in the manger and presenting him with ...
A few years back, I read about a group of three burglars in Vang, Norway, who tried to open a large safe in a small factory. They attached a small explosive device to the door of the safe and then hid in the next room until it went off. The explosion was so powerful that it demolished the whole building and left them buried under a pile of rubble. The ironic thing about was, the safe had never held any money. The company money was kept in a cash box in an unlocked desk drawer. But what they did keep in the ...
Mark was three years old when his pet lizard died. Since it was her grandson's first brush with death, Grandma suggested that Mark and an older boy in the family hold a "funeral" for the lizard. Grandma explained what a funeral was: a ceremony where you say a prayer, sing a song, and bury your loved one. Grandma even provided a shoe box and a burial place in the backyard. The boys thought it was a great idea, so they all proceeded to the backyard. Taking the lead, the older boy said a prayer. Then he ...
Pet Peeves, we all have them don't we? Those things that just set us off. Some of my pet peeves are: People who don't use their turn signals or turn them on when they're turning. Road maps that aren't folded back up correctly. I don't know why, it just bugs me. I guess it's like the next one, tangled and wadded up extension cords. Fast food lines that aren't fast. All the prescription drug ads on TV with their long disclaimers of possible side effects. (They make me want to run and hide, not ask my doctor ...
I confuse “inversion therapy” with “aversion therapy.” The latter (“aversion therapy”) is where you train your dog not to leave your yard, or not dig, or not bark, with a collar that shocks the dog when it does run off, dig, or bark. “Inversion therapy” helps alleviate back and neck pain by taking the usual gravitational press we live with and literally “standing it on its head.” One method is to strap your feet into boots and hang upside down like a big bat. Rosie O’Donnell once did this on the Ellen ...
Growing up, there was a family who lived across the street from us by the name of Wallace. There were six kids, one girl and five boys. Their yard was the cut through yard to get to the rest of our friends houses. Mr. Wallace loved to grow things. He always had a garden and grew tomatoes, lettuce and carrots. But his favorite was peaches. The Wallaces had a double lot and he must have had three dozen peach trees. He sold many of the peaches to a local grocery store. But Mr. Wallace also had red and purple ...
There is an old adage which has God saying: “Take what you wish - take it and pay for it.” That puts us immediately into the heart of our theme today: There is a Price For Everything. There is truth in that saying that the best things in life are free but we have to be careful about that. It isn’t absolute truth. Certainly we can’t buy love, but isn’t there really a price tag on love? How can we appropriate the love of a husband or a wife without paying the price of attention and tenderness, caring and the ...
Somewhere I read some amazing information about an antelope known as the African impala. These residents of southern and eastern Africa are amazing leapers. They can jump to a height of over 10 feet. One leap can cover a distance greater than 30 feet. Yet these magnificent animals can be kept in an enclosure in any zoo with a 3‑foot high wall. You see, impalas will not jump if they cannot see where their feet will fall. That is a wise, conservative approach to life. Do not jump if you cannot see where your ...
Way back in cold old February, fourth grader Patrick Timoney came face-to-face with what “zero degrees” really mean. Not “zero degrees” Fahrenheit, but “zero degrees” of tolerance. It seems Patrick had taken some of his favorite Lego toys to school to show off to his buddies. Any parent of young children can tell you those little, tiny Lego guys are natural born killers. They hide in the couch to poke you when you sit down. They stab you in the foot as you cross the floor. They can single-handedly destroy ...
Most pastors have seen the damage caused when a purple-faced preacher has sought to scare a person into faith. Pastors counsel with people even into their eighties and nineties who still have trouble feeling love from God because when they were children, someone had frightened them with images of an angry God, ready to smack them down if they didn't behave and believe. Parents will tell us of children coming home in tears from other churches. An adult had gotten in the face of a child demanding an answer ...
One of the greatest military campaigns ever conducted was the Persian invasion of Greece in 480 BC. King Xerxes (the ruler featured in the pages of the Old Testament book of Esther) set out to redress the humiliation suffered by his father's army at Marathon, where a small Greek force had worn out the massive Persian onslaught and whimpered it into retreat. While the previous force had been huge, Xerxes' collected battalions were massive. Historians who traveled along to document the planned Persian ...
When our twins were quite young — infants really — I remember a scene that played out on our living room floor. My son, ever the gregarious and energetic one had managed one afternoon to yank the leg off our old studio piano. He was sitting there gleefully pounding it on the carpet while his twin sister egged him on, shouting, "Go, Aaron, go!" In defense of my daughter, it needs to be said that the boy didn't require any encouragement. Furthermore, it didn't occur to either their mother or myself that we ...
If you could win an Olympic medal, which would you prefer the silver or the bronze? The answer appears obvious, doesn’t it? The silver is for second place; the bronze is for third. Or is it as simple as it sounds? Kent Crockett, in his book I Once Was Blind but Now I Squint tells about a surprising study of Olympic medal winners. You would assume that the silver medal winners would be happier than the bronze medalists since they received a higher honor, but that isn’t always the case. The bronze medalists ...
The most famous journalist saying of all time is arguably “if it bleeds, it leads.” Rolling Stone magazine decided to take that adage literally. The 18 August 2010 cover of Rolling Stone magazine featured a bloody mess and it was a huge hit, creating a big stir, selling lots of copies. Wearing nothing but dripping, smeared, puddling blood, the three young stars of "True Blood" posed in way meant to sell magazines rather than report on the series. "True Blood" is an American television drama series. It ...
Albert Einstein is noted for his work in the field of physics. That’s where he got his Nobel Prize in 1921. But one of his most famous quotes is one that appears to have nothing to do with physics. Einstein is reported to have said, when asked what is the most powerful force in the universe, “The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.” What is “the secret of life?” When asked that question at a men’s retreat, “Mike,” a successful entrepreneur whose start-up company went public, making ...
Did you hear about the would be bank robber who held up a bank while wearing a ski mask. He took the money then demanded car keys from one of the customers. I say he was a would be bank robber because he was apprehended when he came back into the bank, without the ski mask and asked the woman, which key unlocked the door. (1) Or how about the poor guy who went into a pizzeria, ordered a slice, went to pay for it, then robbed the place while the cash register was open. The only problem was, he left his ...
When your child is playing a musical instrument that is “rented” from the school, instead “owned” by you, there is a big decision to make at the end of the school year. Do you pay rental fees for the summer break? Or do you turn the instrument in? Paying rental fees for the summer means that the instrument will be practiced on hot summer days and during beautiful sunsets. Turning the instrument in means that summer is for swimming, sleep-away camps, family vacations, flexible schedules and peace and quiet ...
Four years ago this week, I was walking through an African village in Namibia with my friend, Solveig Kjeseth. We stopped to look at a strange tower formed out of earth. It was about five feet high, crooked in shape, wide at the bottom and coming to a point at the top. I thought it looked like the top of a giant, rumpled witch's hat, only it was gray instead of black. Solveig informed me, much to my surprise, that it was an anthill. I was even more surprised when we came across many more, some of which ...
Mike Rowe has made a career out of doing disgusting stuff. As the host of the Discovery Channel series “Dirty Jobs,” Rowe has mucked-out, dug under, flushed, slogged, and slid through some of the most filthy and foul places on the planet. But whether he has been hanging from rafters or slipping through sewers, Rowe has consistently shown his viewers how even the most grungy, grimy, gross job still has its own dirty dignity. Rowe always offers respect to those who are “showing him the ropes,” whether they ...
Mike Rowe has made a career out of doing disgusting stuff. As the host of the Discovery Channel series “Dirty Jobs,” Rowe would muck-out, dig under, flush, slog, and slide through some of the most filthy and foul places on the planet. But whether he has been hanging from rafters or slipping through sewers, Rowe consistently showed his viewers how even the most grungy, grimy, gross job still has its own dirty dignity. Rowe always offered respect to those who were “showing him the ropes,” whether they were ...
A man from Johnstown, Pennsylvania, died and went to heaven. Saint Peter was directing the activities and explained to him, "Each Friday we have a get-together for the new members. To break the ice, every new member must make a speech to all the others here, on any subject desired." The man from Johnstown said, "I think I'll talk on the Johnstown flood." Saint Peter replied, "I think it's all right but I'd better warn you; Noah will be in the audience." The story of Noah's ark has its origins in ancient ...
Have you noticed that no matter how much of a mess we make of our lives, God never gives up on us? We try to do the right thing, but fail over and over again. Paul talks openly about the fact that he knows the right thing to do, but just keeps doing the wrong thing. He can't seem to help himself. I guess it all started with the first Adam who got to work early one morning and parked on the line between two parking places so that everyone who came after him has parked on the line ever since. What a mess we ...
Jack Coe was a popular evangelist in the first half of the twentieth century. Like many popular evangelists of the time, Coe held his services in a tent. Coe’s tent was a massive structure which would hold ten thousand people. One day Coe had a dream in which he saw a flood. The dream troubled him so much that he told his wife about it. Later, when he was conducting a crusade in Kansas City, he dreamed once again about a flood. Together these two dreams seemed so real that he felt that perhaps God was ...
As summer heats up it is important to always bring a sweater with you. Huh?! (Yes, I know a sweater is something your mother puts on you when she is cold!) Likewise if you head to Minnesota in mid-winter you would be wise to bring something lightweight and with short sleeves. Crazy?! These seemingly illogical suggestion are actually good ideas. Why? Because our culture is addicted to “climate control.” Air conditioning and central heating make it possible for us to create any kind of climate, any sort of ...