Jesus would turn over in his grave, if he were in his grave -- which, of course, he is not. However, I want to suggest to you this morning that the ultimate formula for worldly success is found in a portion of his words in Mark 8:34, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." In a secular sense that text alone would guarantee any person's success in the wonderful world of business or art or education or sports or whatever career you may choose. After all, ...
A couple of years ago, during a sports clinic at Princeton High School in Cincinnati, Ohio, Dan Woodruff, the softball coach, lent his office to Dave Redding, the "strength" coach for the Cleveland Browns. Dave wanted to shower before his scheduled appearance at the clinic. Dan showed Dave the facilities, then left while he was in the shower. When Dave finished showering, he went to leave the office, but found he couldn’t open the door! He wrote a note and slipped it under the door, then sat back and ...
Jesus continually shocks us. No wonder the people of his own day crucified him. He wouldn't be too popular in our community. At least not among the better people in town. It is almost as if he preferred to associate with the disreputable, the rejects, the rubble of humanity. "Two men went up to pray," he said on one occasion, "a Pharisee and a tax collector." Now the audience was suppose to hiss and boo when the tax collector's title was given. The IRS is not too popular with us, but at least most of the ...
A man named Kenneth Gibble tells of spending his after-school hours as a child in the feed mill where his dad worked. He enjoyed playing in the section of the warehouse where the bags of feed were stacked in deep rows. "I loved playing games of pretend," he says, "with the feed bags becoming in my imagination hills and valleys, boulders to hide behind, dark caves to hide inside." Sometimes one of the workers would come into the warehouse where Kenneth was playing. He would delight in spying on the worker ...
During Hollywood‘s golden years there were many people in the film industry who were known for their practical jokes. One of the best known and most creative of these was a fellow by the name of Jack McDermott. He was a writer and director of movies. McDermott‘s favorite gag was to take his guests for a ride in his Model-T Ford. Taking them into the mountains, he would careen around curves at perilous speeds. When a guest would complain about his recklessness, he would yank the steering wheel from its post ...
Joan trembled as she put on her lipstick. She never dreamed she would be caught in this predicament. Forty years old, active in her church, with a fifteen year old daughter and a loving husband and she was considering having an affair ” with her boss, Jim. "Jim's such an attractive man," she thought to herself as she checked her lipstick in the mirror. "He's everything Bob is not. He takes care of himself, wears great clothes, and he's fun. And he's a visionary. The company's broken every record since he ...
Some of the most popular music today comes out of places like Nashville, Tennessee and Austin, Texas. I am referring, of course, to Country and Western music. Country music is known for its colorful lyrics. We're told that Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas was a country music fan. He delighted in recounting the titles of his favorite songs. Among them were, "When the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me," "Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Coming In," and "My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend ...
We all know that appearances matter. When officials at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachussets, wanted to advertise their college to high school students a couple years back, they found that they had a problem. It had been a snowless winter in Williamstown. However, the officials felt that snow would make their college look more inviting to prospective students. Hence, they imported 60 tons of manufactured snow and posed student models beside the "snowdrifts." A defensive director of admissions ...
A scandal is brewing in the hallowed halls of Academe. It has to do with test scores given to our young people. A West Virginia doctor noticed sometime back that all 50 states claim that their students score above average on standardized test scores. That, of course, is impossible ” for everyone to be above average. Someone has even given this scandal a thoughtful name ” the Lake Wobegon effect. Lake Wobegon is author Garrison Keillor's mythical town where "All the women are strong, all the men are good ...
Have you ever noticed that most of us fit into one of four styles of behavior? That's what some psychologists tell us ” four distinct styles of behavior. Some of us are dominant. Dominant folks like to be in control. Nobody has to ask dominant people what they think. They are blunt, direct ” fast to make judgements and ready to take action. Then there are those for whom life is a party. These are "people" people. They like to talk. They are very animated. They like meeting new friends. Their nature is ...
A man in Alberta, Canada, delights in telling the story of his older brother's second wedding. The man's wife had died suddenly when they were both in their middle years. But then came a widow to the community, a feisty, free-spirited little person, and in just a short while, they asked the minister to come over for a house wedding. The families were gathered for the occasion, and the minister read the form. Then it was time for the vows. Everything went without a hitch, until he asked the bride, "And do ...
Cathy and her boyfriend, Irving, who is a golfing fanatic, are on vacation. They are on the golf course. Cathy: Here's your ball, Irving! It was over in the weeds! Irving: AACK! You moved the ball! You're not allowed to move the ball, Cathy! Cathy: Who cares? We're the only ones out here! Irving: It's against the rules! You can't break the rules!! Cathy: You hate rules! Irving: But this is a SPORT! It's no fun without rules! It's pointless unless everyone plays by the exact same rules! As Irving walks away ...
Sometime back, John Gratton in the Drexel, Missouri STAR gave us a description of what it would be like to live in a perfect world. Here are a few of his thoughts. In a Perfect World. . . a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17. In a Perfect World. . . you could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant. In a Perfect World. . . pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars ...
Dr. Bryant Kirkland, former pastor of the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church in New York City, tells of traveling to preach on the West Coast one winter: "I needed the time on that three hour flight to study and prepare," he said, "so I buckled down and let everyone near me feel the tension ” don't bother me, I'm a busy man with places to go and work to do. A young woman and a baby slipped into the seat next to mine. I thought, This will be difficult,' so I kept a straight face and looked very Presbyterian. ...
Sometimes it's called sweet revenge. This report is from London. Janine Brooks was a dental student when a man ran into her car and drove away. That was ten years ago. Her damaged car resulted in a considerable financial burden on her student income but the motorist neither apologized nor ever paid for the damage he had done. Now it is 10 years later. Janine Brooks, the former student, is a dentist, and guess who comes to her office needing a tooth to be pulled. He did not recognize her; she did recognize ...
Permit me to do a little prying. It's for your own benefit. How many of you have made a will? You don't have to raise your hands, but it could be an important question for many of us. Many family squabbles have erupted over the lack of a wellthought out will. There is a book titled THE 400WORD WILL. It contains some interesting wills from Japan. Listen to a few of these. I quote: "After you finish a simple funeral," wrote Mitsuyo Honda, 43, housewife, "I would like you to grab a handful of ashes and get on ...
A young pastor was telling his congregation how bad women are. He stated that a lot of the trouble in the world was due to women. He went on and on about women and the problems they cause. After the message the pastor was greeting the people as they left church. An older husky woman came up to the pastor and, as she was shaking his hand, she squeezed it quite unmercifully. He cried out, "That hurts." She asked him, "What was the telephone number of the Garden of Eden?" He said, "I don't know." She ...
Tom Ervin, Professor of Music at the University of Arizona was attending a conference for music teachers in New York. While at the conference he purchased a talking metronome. A metronome is a device for counting the beats in a song. Before Tom and his son boarded their flight home, Tom hefted his carry-on bag onto the security-check conveyor belt. The security guard's eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked Tom what he had in the bag. Then the guard slowly pulled out of the bag this strange ...
"I think that I shall never see," wrote Joyce Kilmer, "a poem as lovely as a tree." Trees are lovely and, like people, they come in so many varieties. Some, like the giant sequoias in California, are large enough to drive a car through. Others, like the slender, ungainly dogwood, remind us of the cross of Christ. Easterners see a palm tree and they think of Florida or the coastal areas of the Carolinas or Georgia. In the springtime tourists flock to Washington, D. C. to enjoy trees filled with cherry ...
The teacher of a junior high class was trying to illustrate the word miracle. "Young people," he said, "Suppose I stood on the roof of a 10-story building, lost my balance and fell off. Then all of a sudden, in midair, a whirlwind swept me up and brought me safely to the ground. Now what word would you use to describe this?" After a long silence a boy raised his hand and asked, "Luck?" "True, true," replied the teacher. "It could be luck. But that's not the word I wanted. I'll repeat the story. There I am ...
A juggler with a circus was pulled over for speeding. The officer was suspicious when he looked in the back seat and saw several large knives. "What are you doing with those?" he asked. "I'm a juggler with the circus," said the man. "To make it more exciting I juggle those large knives." "Well, show me," said the officer. So the juggler started juggling six of these large knives all at once. Knives were flying everywhere, though amazingly all of them were expertly under his control. While he was performing ...
There was a church where the pastor and the minister of music were not getting along. As time went by, this began to spill over into the worship service. The first week the pastor preached on commitment and how we all should dedicate ourselves to the service of God. The music director led the song, "I Shall Not Be Moved." The second week the pastor preached on tithing and how we all should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The director led the song, "Jesus Paid it All." The third week the pastor ...
Last year, newspapers around the world carried the story of Eric Abbott, a British sailor who makes a habit of getting lost. On August 10, 2000, the British coast guard rescued Eric Abbott for the sixth time after he sailed off course and ran aground. You would think after all these mishaps, he would give up sailing. No way. Abbott plans on hitting the water again soon. Some would admire Abbott for saying that he won't give up sailing. The members of the British coast guard don't share that admiration. It ...
(Father's Day) Comedian Johnny Carson said his son gave him a paper which read, "To the man who has inspired me with his fatherly wisdom." Carson said, "Son I didn't know you felt that way about me." His son said, "I don't, can you fax this to Bill Cosby?" Fathers have a hard times nowadays getting respect. Maybe there's a reason for that. Many Dads in our society disappear. And, sad to say, others stay around who perhaps should disappear. Actress Suzanne Sommers has earned a new reputation in the show biz ...
Back in 1994, 128 runners lined up to compete in the NCAA cross-country championships in Riverside, California. Unfortunately, one of the turns on the 10,000-meter course was not well marked; only five of the 128 runners stayed on the correct path. Mike Delcavo was the first runner to notice the problem. He began waving at the other runners to follow him, but most refused. Can you blame them? One-hundred-and-twenty-three runners took the wrong path, only five took the right one. What did the 123 think of ...