... number of places. For instance, the minister had a terrible day on the golf course. On the last hole, he actually went into a tantrum, cursing and beating the ground with his club. Finally recovering himself, he looked woefully at the caddy, and muttered, “I guess I’ll have to give it up.” “Give up golf?” asked the caddy. “No, not golf,” he said sorrowfully, “the ministry.” Someone has said, if you want to know how difficult it is to drive a hard bargain, just buy a cheap second-hand car ...
... be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." Do you get it? The kingdom is a party -- a banquet. But remember, it's not an exclusive one. And remember this: The church is not a showplace for saints; its a place of redemption, hope and healing for sinners. So I guess there's only one thing left to say: Don't miss the party.
... don't know for sure what the shepherds were doing on that first Christmas eve besides watching their flocks. They may well have been washing their socks, although I don't think Bedouin shepherds wore socks then or wear them now. So I guess the shepherds were doing whatever shepherds do to pass the time in their lonely vigils. "Certainly the shepherds were not engaged in a symposium pondering some esoteric philosophical truth. They were not sharing in some high religious festival before the temple altar in ...
... not a woman. I'm a mob. There's so many of me that I'm going off in all different directions. I'm overextended, I have too many commitments, too many things out there waiting for me to do." Finally, at the end of her tirade, she said, "I guess I just have too many irons in the fire." Her housekeeper, who had been ironing all the while and listening to that outpouring of confusion, without so much as looking up, said to her, "Well, then, iron with the one that's hottest!" Iron with the one that's hottest ...
... a great system, until, for some odd reason, he noticed them losing weight. He couldn't understand it. Then one day, he discovered the culprit. A woodpecker was pecking on a tree nearby. Every time the woodpecker pecked, tap-tap-tap, the hogs came running. I guess all that extra running kept them trim. The people of Israel were no different from you and me. They were constantly looking for signs. The problem was, they had difficulty discerning the sound of the farmer with food and the sound of the woodpecker ...
... : "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24) My guess is that right here in this church family there is some reconciling that needs to be done. For someone, it is a brother or a sister. For someone else, it is a parent or a teenager. For someone, it is a colleague at work. Unresolved anger and resentment ...
... more exciting, lucrative jobs in order to spend time with his kids. He even left the office early occasionally if his children needed him. Ornish credits his father with teaching him that the world is "a loving place, rather than a hostile, dangerous place." (4) My guess is that there are some parents in this room who look back at the time when their children were small with regret. All I can say to young parents is, "Use your head . . ." Think about your priorities before it is too late. I understand that ...
... up the Bible and placed it under his arm. Then he picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. Finally, he uncorked the bottle and took a big drink. “Lord have mercy,” the old man whispered, “He’s gonna be a politician!” (2) I guess we could say that, unless you’re going to be a politician, you are going to have to make some choices in life. Life is a matter of choices. Choices about how you spend your time. Choices about how you spend your money. Choices about what you think ...
... . Back in their vaudeville days comedians George Burns and Gracie Allen had a great routine about weddings. Gracie is reminiscing about their wedding day. She remarks, "It seems like only yesterday that my mother tripped George as we walked down the aisle." George says, "I guess your family didn’t approve." "Oh, sure they did," Gracie replies, "In fact, they applauded her when she did it." (2) I hope your mother-in-law didn’t trip you on the way down the aisle. But sometimes families can be a challenge ...
... Not everyone has been brought up to smile. Sometime back there was a news article about an organization called Depressives Anonymous. Anyway, this particular branch of Depressives Anonymous banned several people from their organization--because they weren’t depressed enough. (2) I guess there are worse things than being banned from a group because you are not depressed enough. On the other hand, maybe some of those people who were banned from the group felt so bad about it that now they are qualified for ...
... this rut of moving from one task to another, that here was life, here was joy, here was an invitation to the dance right in front of him--and he was missing it. So he got up and he and Mallory did the Dee Dah Day dance together. (1) My guess is that most of you who are parents can relate. We can get so busy . . . We can have so many little things on our agenda . . . We can be so stressed out . . . that we forget to do a little Dee Dah Day dance with our children. Particularly at this time of ...
... remember a line from a song which apparently was popular, for at least a short period of time, in my early childhood. It was a half-funny, half-pathetic little lament from someone who felt rejected and unsuccessful. As I recall, each verse ended with the phrase, "I guess I'll go eat worms." Most of us can understand the mood of the song, if not the dietary remedy. Every one of us feels like a failure at one time or another. Some people -- Father, have mercy on them! -- feel that way most of the time. On ...
... like the next guy. Of course, it may be that I am not meant to be just like the next guy. Perhaps I am called to be different from him. Even an example to him. The Greek word ouai is what we translate "woe," or sometimes "alas." As you might guess from trying to pronounce the unusual all-vowel word, it is not a harsh kind of exclamation. It doesn't have the kind of bite to it that makes for a curse word. Rather, it might better be understood as an articulate sigh, an expression of grief. When Jesus says ...
... . And because the people who told the story were twice enslaved for long periods of time and persecuted for much of their history, special care was taken with the story's transmission. Some people wonder why Jesus' ministry didn't get underway until his thirties. My guess is that he was being shaped and formed by the stories of his religious community. It is true that at age twelve he impressed the rabbis with his knowledge of Torah in the Temple. But Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem with the Ten Commandments ...
... so much so foolishly? Especially on somebody who doesn't deserve it? I don't know what you'd call it. I'd call it a huge waste. But even though you may have sown a few wild oats in your past, grateful to be taken back and forgiven, my guess is that you probably identify most with the older brother in this old story. Jesus definitely wants his listeners to see the folly in the older brother's behavior, but, darn it, slip into his shoes for just a second and see if you don't sympathize. What has the ...
... Junaluska, North Carolina. We had a couple of thousand people and they were a great audience. After my first sermon – people were doing what they normally do, graciously waiting in line to speak to the preacher. I saw a woman sort of hanging back. I guess that she wanted a bit more time than the usual greeting – and I gave it to her. She was not from North Carolina but from another state – had driven five hundred miles to attend the conference – which was an affirmation within itself. She wanted the ...
... our scripture lesson and think about Simon. Could it have been that Simon’s immediate response to this awful situation, being compelled to carry a heavy cross through those crowded streets and up a steep hill – could it be that his was a cynical response? “I guess I was in the wrong place at the right time” or, could it be – just think about – could it be that on reflection, the phrase was turned and Simon concluded, “Thank God, I was in the right place at the right time”? Get the picture ...
... harassment. Tammy knew her house might be targeted. This is a part of what she wrote: The danger is real. The threat is real. But God’s power is much MORE REAL. He has shown us this in recent days. Of course, He has shown us this all along, I guess we have just been reminded of it in recent days. I can’t explain the shift in our outlook, nothing on the outside has changed. But…Jesus has spoken to us, encouraged us, and challenged us in the middle of the threats. I gotta be honest, I wouldn’t trade ...
... us and always brought cookies. She ducked in time and then looked them squarely in their devilish eyes. So, as the angel she was, she said, “I don’t approve of what you boys did here tonight, and neither does Jesus. But if He can forgive you, I guess I can too.” She handed them the whole plate of cookies, and last I heard, both are good daddies with steady jobs and rarely miss a Sunday in church. That was the first miracle I ever saw. (Donald Shelby, “Speaking of Hallowed Things,” January 17, 1988 ...
... -- “Go”and “disciples.” Go! Go make disciples. After a great deal of discussion and behind-the-scenes political maneuvering, we finally got our mission statement as United Methodist approved and printed in our Book of Discipline at the last General Conference. Can you guess what it is? To make disciples. It shouldn’t have taken us so long to figure that out. Jesus was clear about it – so he sounded as one of His last words: “Go – go make disciples.” The tragedy of the Church is that those ...
... . It was a dance of color. I could hardly contain myself “Look,” I said, “Look at the sunset.” She glanced casually out the window but was unresponsive. She had already engaged herself with a magazine so she returned to it. Stumblingly I said, “Well, I guess you are used to that, flying all the time.” “She responded matter-of-factly. “Yes, it happens almost every time I fly out of here.” I could tell that she was not interested in the sunset or any kind of conversation, so I was gracious ...
... housing project. He refused to give in to their ways. He stood his ground, despite derision and scorn. He is disappointed and depressed and says to his wife, Jennifer, “I’m not a big man, Jen.” She asks, “What is a big man, Archie?” “Henry Ford, I guess,” comes the reply. “No, Archie,” responds his caring wife, “a big man is a man who keeps his soul.” She was right -- a big man is a man who keeps his soul. I thought about that as I began to deal with our scripture lesson -- as I ...
... the US Army, and this young private was rather gregarious. He didn’t recognize General Bradley, so he said to him, “Sir, we are going to be traveling a long way together and I think it would be a good idea if just got to know one another. I am guessing that you are a banker.” Bradley, not wanting to be rude but really wanting to get back to his work, replied, “No, I am not a banker, I am General Omar Bradley, a five-star general in the United States Army. I am head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff ...
... . It was a dance of color. I could hardly contain myself “Look,” I said, “Look at the sunset.” She glanced casually out the window but was unresponsive. She had already engaged herself with a magazine so she returned to it. Stumblingly I said, “Well, I guess you are used to that, flying all the time.” “She responded matter-of-factly. “Yes, it happens almost every time I fly out of here.” I could tell that she was not interested in the sunset or any kind of conversation, so I was gracious ...
... with appreciation for this spiritual guide who waited patiently for her to sort out her muddle. Finally she said to him, “I can’t imagine why God would want me, of all people, as an offering. But if God is foolish enough to take me as I am, I guess I had better do it.” The monk smiled broadly and said, “You’re ready.” That kind of submission was the ongoing concern of the saints. They did not seek ecstasy, but surrender to the Lord. They knew that submission in the Bible is a love word, not a ...