A man was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to identify with his audience, he decided to begin his talk by saying in Spanish, “Good evening, ladies and gentleman.” He arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were located, looked at the signs on the two doors, and memorized those two words. When the audience arrived and he ...
The weather is always a good source for small talk. In these dark and dreary days of January, that “small talk” is probably even smaller — meaner and more morose. Whether it’s chatting at the check-out stand with a cashier, or making conversation in the cramped quarters of a slow moving elevator, this time of year “weather talk” isn’t likely to be upbeat. “I hate the snow!” “Don’t you just love what the salt does to your shoes, your car, your clothes?” “Tornado warnings in January? Really!!” “It’s dark ...
I came across a “fascinating list” that carried this intriguing title: “Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned.” Let me share a few of these “great truths” with you. (1) “ No matter how hard you try you cannot baptize a cat.” (2) “When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” (3) “Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato… or an egg.” (4) “You can’t trust dogs to watch your food for you.” (5) “Don’t sneeze when somebody is cutting your hair.” (6) “School ...
Judah’s Famine and Elimelech’s Death: The story of Ruth has a specific historical context, the days when the judges ruled (lit. when the judges judged). The act of repeating a seminal Hebrew root twice (shepot hashopetim), however, immediately implies that Ruth’s opening line attempts to do more than just situate the book historically. Hebrew, like English, repeats words for emphasis (GKC 117p). Ruth, in other words, is very much a story about mishpat (“justice,” from shapat, “to judge, rule”). 1:1 The ...
Big Idea: One of the great dissimilarities between humanity and God is that we are needy people, but God needs nothing. Understanding the Text Psalm 50 is a perfect example of the kind of liturgical piece that might be recited in the seventh year when the Torah was read at the Feast of Tabernacles (Deut. 31:9–13).1Yet when the Book of the Covenant was discovered in the temple during Josiah’s reign (622–609 BC), it seems that this practice had not been observed for some time (2 Kings 23:1–3). In form- ...
The other day I came across some interesting epitaphs. There is one in Nevada which reads: “Here lays Butch, we planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.” This one is in Georgia: “I told you I was sick!” What about the one in Mary- land: “Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.” There are two worth noting in South Carolina: “He fought a good fight, but his knife was dull”; “Where she is, is better than where she was.” But there is one in England that hits too ...
I am angry. I am angry that the open-minded, open-hearted denomination I have always loved has become more and more legalistic and polarized. I am angry that my country, the wealthiest and most powerful nation in the world, has one of the highest rates of child mortality and child poverty of any industrialized nation in the world. I am angry that a huge percentage of US foreign aid goes to Israel — one of the richest nations in the world. I am angry that some of those tax dollars are being used to build ...
I came across a report the other day from the United Nations about how more and more people are moving from rural areas and subdivisions into urban areas and big cities. That’s surprising to me because there are so many jokes about the drawbacks of living in a city. Comedian Anita Weiss says, “I moved to New York City for my health. I’m paranoid, and it was the only place where my fears were justified.” In a standup routine about traffic in Boston, Massachusetts comedian Lewis Black said, “The last person ...
Props: Magnifying glass, flashlight, litmus paper (3.8-3.4 best acidity), wine glass with red wine At one time or another, all of you have probably watched a detective show on tv. If you’re like me, you’ve watched more than one. You can’t miss them. They enjoy some of the highest ratings on television. At any given time, especially prime time, there will be at least 15 or more detective shows on various networks to choose from. What’s your favorite? NCIS? Blue Bloods? The Blacklist? Criminal Minds? Castle ...
Genesis 37:1-11, Genesis 37:12-36, John 21:15-25, Mark 8:1-13
Sermon
Lori Wagner
Props: shirt with pattern only in the front and shirt with pattern all around it Ever see those shirts where the pattern is only on one side? In case not, I have one here to show you today. You see this? I get so frustrated when I see these shirts. They offend my OCD sense of decorum because you turn, and the pattern just stops. It’s like, you can only turn one way in speaking to people, cause otherwise, it looks like the rest of you is invisible. The exciting part is turned toward the front. But turn ...
Washed in the blood of Jesus. That’s what our early hymns proclaim. We are washed in the blood of the Lamb, the blood of sacrifice, the blood of salvation, the cleansing blood of the messiah Jesus. For most of us today that sounds like a rather strange concept. But then, when you think about it, so is partaking of the “body and blood” of Jesus as we celebrate what we know as Holy Communion. In fact, this was a strange concept in the early church as well! Early Christians were in fact often called out for ...
Let's say that we're all here today because we want to be better people. We are here to be good, to become more righteous. After all, surely this is one of the main functions of religion, the Christian or any other, to make us better than we would have been if we had not gotten up on a cold February morning and gone to Chapel And let's agree that, even if we have not arrived, we are at least on our way toward goodness because we did get up and go to the Chapel, which in no way is meant to detract from ...
Roland Jaffe’s brilliant and beautiful film, “The Mission” (1986) tells the true story of the Spanish Jesuit missionaries who served the indigenous (Indian) populations of Brazil, Argentina, and Paraguay during the first half of the eighteenth century. The “Jesuit Reductions,” as history has dubbed them, were mission stations created by the Jesuits to bring Christianity to the natives through education and medical service. They were independent of the Spanish government — though protected by it. The plot ...
If you are a big sports fan then you know how frustrating it is when your favorite team is playing in a different time zone. You can’t watch the game on live TV because it either takes place during your workday, or way past your bedtime. A pastor in Hawaii shares how he deals with this issue. Depending on where you live in the continental U.S., Hawaii is three to six hours behind. If it’s 10 p.m. in New York, the time is 5 p.m. in Hawaii. Because of this time difference, the Monday Night Football game is ...
Memories [Provide a review of the good memories the deceased had generated.] A good number of you are old enough to remember how you had to wait at least two minutes for the television to warm-up, how you got your windshield cleaned and oil checked, and your gas pumped without having to leave your car, how when you bought a box of laundry detergent, it wouldn’t be unusual to find a free glass or a dish or a towel inside the box. A good number of you are old enough to remember when a quarter was a decent ...
Theme: We would all be wasteful if it weren't for God's plan in our lives. And repentance and forgiveness are always available. Summary: A retelling of the Prodigal Son as a documentary for television. All the people involved in Johnny's life (The Prodigal) are interviewed. At the end Johnny comes home. This is a televised production with live acting at the end. Playing Time: 6 minutes Setting: Television studio Props: Television monitors, and camera Costumes: Contemporary, rural Time: The present Cast: ...
Theme: Sometimes the wise and learned are confounded by spiritual truths and they are revealed to those who are trusting enough to believe Jesus' words. Summary: Barney Willis, a young college student, is supposed to speak on the "Future of the Church" but can't seem to get started. The reason is revealed by his family. Playing Time: 10 minutes Setting: Your church Props: Guitar Costumes: Contemporary Time: The present Cast: BARNEY WILLIS -- a college student REV. WILLIS --his father MRS. WILLIS -- Barney' ...
I have never liked saying "goodbye," it always elicits feelings of finality. So I say other things like, "See you!" or "Hope to see you sometime." Most of the time I like quick goodbyes. However, when a loved one leaves there are no formalities. We embrace, sometimes through tears. It is not uncommon to cast out cliches, often with a bit of humor, to lighten the atmosphere. But in the end the word "goodbye" is bound to be spoken. It's a comforting thought really, because it is a shortened form of "God be ...
The phone buzzed with the fury of a bumblebee chomping into a Bit-o-Honey candy bar. A baritone voice reminiscent of Sherill Mimes’ dulcet tones purrs into the receiver, "Good morning, I am a computer." In this chapter we honor a man, not a Rube Goldberg crafted machine. Time magazine recently presented a resume on a sampling of commencement speeches given to our graduating seniors. A theme common in many of these speeches is about the dangers we face in a big, impersonal society which treats people as ...
Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a murmuring against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Then the twelve summoned the multitude of the disciples and said, "it is not desirable that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ...
"But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord'; for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." Two young boys were close friends ...
The universe is held together in a most remarkable unity. When one reads scientific descriptions of how everything works, whether it be in the cosmic dimensions of the heavenly bodies or whether it be in the mini-dimensions of the atom, one is overwhelmed with wonder. What keeps everything together and holds it in its place? Why doesn’t it fly off into every direction and dissolve into absolute chaos? We know, of course, for it is part of our confession of faith, that somehow we tie all this to the work of ...
"For the Son of man also came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (v. 45) James and John came to Jesus asking for preferment! It is a situation as old as the institutional church. I know, for I am heart and soul in the institutional church; I love it. I believe in the church. I readily accept the statement, "The Church is of God, and will be preserved to the end of time ..." At the same time, I see - as do you - the imperfections in the church, and these imperfections ...
The family. "The basic building block of society," they call it. We are born into families, cared for by family until we can begin to take care of ourselves. We share the same roof, the same table, even the same faith. Nothing unusual there. It is expected...despite the differences of individual personalities, interests and abilities that are gathered into the family unit, it is a unit. The basic building block of society. The joy I have in living with my wife and children I would not have were it not for ...
"Beatin' balls and beatin' balls." That title comes from our fair city's attention to golf this week with the presence of the PGA Tour here for the Greater Greensboro Chrysler Classic. (It will always be the GGO to me though.) "Beatin' balls and beatin' balls." Whoever happens to win this afternoon will undoubtedly offer a phrase like that to anyone looking for advice about how to win at golf. Get out on the practice tee and spend hour upon hour upon hour upon hour "beatin' balls and beatin' balls." As ...