One day, Herman and Clara were riding along in their shiny new car. Clara spoke up and said, "You know, Herman, if it weren't for my money, we probably wouldn't have this wonderful new car." Herman just sat there and didn't say a word. As they pulled into their driveway, Herman turned off the engine. They quietly admired their beautiful home and Clara said, "You know, Herman, if it weren't for my money, we probably wouldn't have this house." Herman just sat there and didn't say a word. That afternoon, a ...
One day a couple by the name of Herman and Mary were riding along in their shiny new car. Mary spoke up and said, "You know, Herman, if it weren't for my money, we probably wouldn't have this wonderful new car." And Herman just sat there and didn't say anything at all. As they pulled into the driveway, Herman turned off the motor and they quietly admired their new home. Then Mary said, "You know, Herman, if it weren't for my money, we probably wouldn't have this new house." And again, Herman just sat there ...
1 Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? 2 The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed, saying, 3 ‘Let us break their chains and throw off their shackles.’ 4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. 5 He rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, 6 ‘I have installed my king on Zion, my holy mountain.’ 7 I will proclaim the Lord’s decree: He said to me, ‘You are my son; today I have ...
I have just returned from my vacation, part of which was spent in Canada fishing for salmon. I notice there always seems to be a curiosity when I come back from a fishing trip to know if I caught anything, and if so, how big was it? I can usually exercise the necessary latitude to describe my catch appropriately, but this time I was with several members of this congregation. They happen to be in this service this morning as well, so I am forced to limit what I say, and this is it. There is more to fishing ...
The reason the title of this sermon is, "The Paraclete Is Not a Bird," is because I never met a pun I didn't use. But it needs explanation. A parakeet, you know. It's a cute, little bird. But the word "paraclete" is probably a word you are not familiar with. It is a rather esoteric word. It is a technical term found mostly in the 14th chapter of the Gospel of John. We read only a portion of that chapter this morning, but the word "paraclete" appears there several times. It is a Greek word. The New ...
The all night wrestling match with God reveals much of the meaning of Jacob’s life. The verses I just read report the events of only a few hours, but in those hours we see the meaning of his whole life. Jacob’s entire life had been a struggle. From the very beginning, he struggled with his twin brother, Esau. Jacob was his mother’s favorite. But he knew that Esau, his brother, was his father Isaac’s favorite. It was a classic sibling rivalry which resulted in tragic consequences. You remember the story: ...
Psalm 149:1-9, Romans 13:8-14, Matthew 18:15-20, Exodus 12:1-30
Sermon Aid
Marion L. Soards, Thomas B. Dozeman, Kendall McCabe
OLD TESTAMENT TEXTS Exodus 12:1-14 is one of the central descriptions of how the Passover is to be celebrated and how it functions in the life of Israel. Psalm 149 is a two-sided hymn of praise in which God's ability to destroy and to save is acknowledged. Exodus 12:1-14 - "The Passover" Setting. The confusion of the present form of Exodus 11-13 confronts any reader with immediate obstacles to interpretation. At least three different traditions have been brought together in these chapters (by at least two ...
Rosemary Brown is a highly respected minister in Tennessee. She has been featured a number of times on The Protestant Hour National Radio Broadcast. She tells a story about a little girl in her church named Mickey. Mickey is four years old. She is a precious, adorable, out-going little girl who loves to sing. One Sunday morning, Mickey ran down to the front of the Sanctuary just before the start of the morning worship service and with great excitement, she said: “Miss Rosemary Brown, can I sing a song this ...
"When anger enters the mind, wisdom departs." Thomas a Kempis(1) Respiration deepens; the heart beats more rapidly; the arterial pressure rises; the blood is shifted from the stomach and intestines to the heart, central nervous system and the muscles; the processes of the alimentary canal cease; sugar is freed from the reserves in the liver; the spleen contracts and discharges its contents of concentrated corpuscles, and adrenaline is secreted. What does this describe? It is the physiological ...
God has promised to turn our "thoughs" into "throughs." There is a story from the first century B.C. that may be apocryphal. The story took place when much of the world was unexplored, unknown and largely unmapped. Mapmakers had to have some way of portraying those areas of the earth that were as yet unexplored, so they symbolized these regions by dragons, monsters and large fish. The message was clear. Uncharted territories were frightening, fearsome places. Terrors lay buried there. But as many maps ...
It’s an old story. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad. A young soldier fighting in Italy during World War II managed to jump into a foxhole just ahead of a spray of bullets. He immediately attempted to deepen the hole for more protection. As he was frantically scraping at the dirt with his hands, he unearthed a silver crucifix, obviously left by a previous occupant of the foxhole. A moment later, a leaping figure landed beside him as shells screamed overhead. The soldier turned to see that his new ...
Maybe you've heard about the family who was asked by their pastor how much time they spent together in meaningful discussion. The father said that they spent about two-and-a-half hours a day in meaning discussion. The pastor was impressed. "That's wonderful! That's more than I spend with my own family, a lot more! What kind of things do you discuss?" Mom rolled her eyes and then volunteered additional information left out by the father. She said, "We only discuss one thing: who gets to hold the remote ...
There was a story being circulated back in the days when President Carter was in the White House. He was meeting with the Prime Minister of Israel about the negotiation of a peace in the Middle East. Since both were religious men and worshiped the same God they thought it would be a good idea to consult God on the matters that were before them. Carter offered to use his private phone to do it, pay the charges. So they placed the call, talked to God for five minutes. When the call was completed Carter asked ...
Have you ever noticed that some bright people can say really dumb things? When the American baseball player Bill Gullickson signed a phenomenal contract to play baseball in Japan, he was asked what daily life was like in Japan. He replied that the language was the most difficult and different feature. “It’s crazy,” he said. “The only American words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi.” (1) Well, I guess those are American words. There is no limit to the foolish things people do and say particularly our ...
It is said that in Hollywood there is an exclusive school attended by children of movie stars, producers and directors. One day a teacher in that school asked her very privileged pupils to write a composition on the subject of poverty. One little girl started her literary piece like this: “Once there was a poor little girl. Her father was poor, her mother was poor, her nanny was poor, her chauffer was poor, her butler was poor. In fact, everybody in the house was very, very poor.” I don’t think that little ...
Joe and Moe were carpenters. Joe was always finding ways to tease Moe, who was not too bright. One night Joe shined his flashlight up to the 2nd story of a house and said, “Moe, would you mind climbing up this light beam and get my hammer for me?’ Moe said, “Ha! How dumb do think I am?’ “I’m sorry,” Joe replied. “You’d better be,” said Moe. “I know you too well . . . you’d let me get halfway up and then turn the light off!’ Well, Moe wasn’t too bright. But it reminds me of a story that’s told on one of the ...
There is an old saying that you if you keep telling a lie long enough that people begin to believe it is the truth. You may have heard of an interesting television show called “Myth Busters.” They do some of the most interesting and sometimes stupid stuff just to prove that certain myths are untrue. I came across some very popular myths, some in which I used to believe, but they simply are not true. Myth #1: Elephants are the only mammals that can’t jump. It is true that elephants can’t jump, but neither ...
Some of you will remember that, on April 18, 2006, a new word entered our lexicon when President George W. Bush made a comment referring to himself as “the decider” during a press conference. A fine, decent man, Mr. Bush was simply asserting that he was the one who ultimately made important decisions in his administration. Let me ask you something: do you consider yourself a decisive person? I’m not talking about routine decisions like what to wear in the morning or which restaurant to choose for lunch. ...
One of the great concepts that has come out of the sobriety movement and organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous is the acronym HALT—H. A. L. T. The word, of course, literally means “to stop.” But in sobriety circles, the acronym HALT serves as a reminder to be careful how you react when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Researchers have found that, for someone with addiction issues, these four states leave you particularly vulnerable to temptation. They suggest that, before you take a drink or pop a ...
We wish the story here would have ended another way. Yes, it was the sabbath (always meant to be a beautiful day for God's people!). And even on the sabbath people become sick or continue to be sick. Jesus notices a woman, all hunched over, obviously one who had been ill for a long time. He is a merciful Lord, so he takes the initiative to call her over and lay his hands on her. In these gracious acts, the woman is healed on the spot. Her body is straightened again, and she praises God for God's goodness. ...
This text is a statement about a radical discipleship. It needs to be pointed out at the beginning that this reading is the most compact and compressed statement of the gospel expressed anywhere in the New Testament. Leonard Sweet points out, "In these few verses, Jesus' role as an authoritative, compelling, charismatic preacher is defined; the kernel of the gospel message is expressed; and drop-everything-discipleship -- the result of seeing Jesus and hearing his message -- is described." The word " ...
Object: None. The "aid" in this instance is action. Lesson: Discipleship; God's providence; sharing. It's one of those Sundays on which I have decided to risk doing something different with the children in order to illustrate the point of the message. So, after the youngsters have gathered on the chancel steps, I turn my back to them and begin speaking. "Well, I guess everyone's here. Good morning." Not surprisingly, none of them respond. Still facing away from the children, I continue, "Did none of you ...
(Maria, Salome, Magdalena and Joanna are sitting together, talking. Mary, the mother of Jesus, is sitting quietly in a corner, praying.) Maria: (Jumping up and beginning to pace up and down.) Where is Peter? I don’t understand it. Shouldn’t he have been here by now? Magdalena: Don’t fuss so! You’re making me nervous. Joanna: Maria’s right. I’m worried too. Do you think they might have caught him? Maria: They could have, Joanna. They’re all over Jerusalem looking for any followers of Jesus who are still in ...
In the book Do Yourself a Favor: Love Your Wife, there is a story about a certain little boy who was asked what his father did. The boy said, "He watches." "You mean that he is a night watchman?" "Oh, no," the little boy exclaimed, "He just watches." "Well, what does he watch?" "I don't know if I can tell you everything," the boy continued, "but I can name a few things." "Well, tell me," the now curious man replied. "He watches TV, he watches Mom do the housework, he watches for the paper boy, he watches ...
One of our best Christmas presents this past holiday was a dead looking, papery-coated lump stuck in a hand-made pottery bowl full of gravel. Our eight-year-old daughter Soren made the pottery base at school, filled it with crushed rocks, and the teacher stuck in the middle of this mess (sorry . . . this loveliness) a bulb. All we had to do, Soren instructed, was put this lump in the middle of the table, next to the windows, and add water. In fact, she said proudly as she held up her art-work, it would ...