... Pet Shampoo, who included this helpful advice in the middle of the list of instructions on how to shampoo your dog: “Remember to eliminate all escape routes well in advance. Once your pet is slippery wet, he or she is suddenly smarter and faster than you are.” Now, that’s probably true. A wet dog can be a slippery critter. And on the bottom of a coffee cup from a group called “The Unemployed Philosophers Guild” are these instructions: “For best results, use other side.” (1) The other side ...
A small boy, told not to go swimming in a nearby pond, came home with his hair wet. He told his mother he had fallen into the water. "Then why aren't your clothes wet too?" she asked. "Well," he replied, "I had a hunch I might fall in so I took off my clothes and hung them on a limb."
... , his hair hanging down, and overall he looked, well, he looked a mess. He spent most of his time in the wilderness, eating the things found there like wild honey, locusts, so he was thin, wet, and he was waving his arms and screaming at people lining up along both sides of the river banks. And the people were there, lots of them. Matthew said they came from Jerusalem, which at its closest was more than twenty miles through some really nasty territory. It’s the ...
... never invite me to your parties. Why is that?" His quiet response was, "Oh Preacher, you really wouldn't want to come. But I don't invite you for two reasons. One, you wouldn't approve of what goes on, and two, your presence would be a real wet-blanket to the activities we have planned." Unpopular is what the Christian becomes in a world that is given over to lust, deceit, and decadence! The Unbelievable Promise God's imminent judgment on Israel for her sins was not to be a mere slap on the wrist to warn ...
... than ... DON: Yes, my daughter is important to me. PAUL: Okay. Okay. Don't get snappy. Get the kid baptized, but it ain't gonna do no good. DON: No? Your kids baptized? PAUL: My kids? Naw. Me go to church? C'mon. What is baptism, anyway? The kid gets wet. The minister mumbles a few words. I can do that myself with the lawn sprinkler. DON: Not really. PAUL: C'mon. Okay, hotshot, you tell me. What is it? DON: We met with the minister. He told us a few things about it. It's an "outward sign of an ...
... make course corrections so that we do not crash. Three personal stories of Christian friends who were advocates and guides for me may help to drive this point home. First, Glen Knapp was a lay leader in the first church I served in Lebanon, Indiana. I was "wet behind the ears," right out of seminary, ready to take on the world, but with very little experience and almost no wisdom about how to work with people. One day, Glen who was a devoted teacher by vocation, took me aside and said, "Pastor, I have been ...
... of rich bottomland. Paul Tiemeyer was unable to move all of his corn, so he built an earthen dam around eight huge storage bins. However, the wind and water had turned the area into a vast inland sea. Waves poured over the dam and the wet corn expanded, exploding the metal bins and turning Tiemeyer's 1992 profits into mud. The broken bins became a powerful symbol of human weakness and frailty against overwhelming forces. Paul Tiemeyer saw his labor of thirty years turn into mud. Looking back on that tragedy ...
... with the cloth mother. The experimenters concluded that although the baby monkeys needed the milk, they spent most of the time with the cloth mother, because they also needed a point of contact. Every mother knows that when an infant cries in the night, and the diaper is not wet, and the baby has been fed, and the bed is cuddly, and the room is warm, the baby is not crying because he or she needs anything. The baby is crying because he or she needs a point of human contact. Ask young men or young women who ...
... in heaven, if our old folks don't seek salvation? Who is going to be left down in Hell, if we all don't seek salvation? Is this the season to seek salvation? Maybe winter is too cold. Nobody wants to go to church in winter. Maybe spring is too wet. Too much rain, we need to stay inside. Maybe summer is too hot. And we have to enjoy ourselves sometime. Maybe the fall is too busy with baseball and football. Maybe, maybe ... The harvest is past, and summer is ended, and we are not saved. The only place to seek ...
Psalm 92:1-15, Luke 6:46-49, 1 Corinthians 15:35-58, Isaiah 55:1-13, Luke 6:37-42
Sermon Aid
William E. Keeney
... differs from Matthew, shows Luke's cultural background. He apparently did not know of conditions in Palestine where a house might be built in a dry stream bed during the dry season. It would then collapse under the rush of water during the wet season. CONTEMPLATION Issues and Insights 1. A Higher Standard. People sometimes question whether we should hold people in leadership to higher standards than other people. It is an awesome responsibility to assume leadership and especially so if it is as a teacher or ...
... tide has turned, good news is breaking loose, and we are on the edge of a revival of faith in Eastern Europe. Where good news has come nobody debates whether or not to go to church on Sunday morning. Nobody looks out to see if it is too cloudy or wet or cold or hot, or if they were out too late the night before. I sat in a church in Shanghai, China, where thousands of people stood six hours in the cold rain waiting to come in and worship the Jesus "who for their sakes became poor so that by ...
... be forgiven for this. It's my first Sunday on a new campus; it's raining hard, and the church is hard to find. I'll get some more sleep.' Then there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, there stood that student. His raincoat was dripping wet, and on one arm he had two umbrellas. He said, 'I thought you might have a hard time finding your church, especially in the rain. I shall walk along with you and show you where it is.' As I got dressed to go, I thought, 'What kind of fellow is ...
... man. But Elisha sent some nameless servant out of the house to tell him to dip in the Jordan seven times. Even today fund-raisers and most preachers know that the wealthy like to be visited personally. Elisha didn't do that. And Naaman grew madder than a wet hen. He was insulted. His attention deficiency rose to the surface. "He didn't visit me. He sent a nobody out to see me." Then, to add insult to injury, the prophet did not heal Naaman the way he imagined a prophet ought to heal people. Naaman had ...
... be taught. Jesus took time to listen. We know the numerous times Jesus got up early in the morning and went to "lonely places" to pray and communed with his source of strength and wisdom -- his daddy. Isn't it interesting that the One who opened mouths and ears with wet mud and a word is the same one who opened his ears to hear from God? God listening to God. The all-knowing One being taught. Is that not a model for us to follow, we who think we're so smart? Jesus did have "an instructed tongue," because he ...
... true with the disciples. It continues to be true with us. We intend to listen. We are determined to be faithful followers. But the moment we hear his voice, we begin to get anxious. His words pour down upon us like a shower, and we worry about getting wet rather than seeking to understand. He speaks about eternal things and we are caught up in the present. We still need someone to speak to us in a different manner, someone who will help us hear and believe in spite of our disbelief. We need the Spirit to ...
... , the call of an elderly woman, the bawling of a young child. But in the darkness of an entryway to a home on that busy street we see a door open, the top corner catching the sun's light as the door swings open into the fresh morning, smelling of wet dirt and dung. An old but vibrant-looking man, dressed humbly, holds the door open as he asks questions of a diminutive lad pulling on trousers and pushing on cap with one hand as he clutches papers in the other. "Come along now, or you'll be late!" urges the ...
... marriages, because divorce was too great a taboo to bear. Women had to fight for anything they could get, and men had to be men, strong, stoic, and alone. And congregations worshipped and sang and preachers preached waves and waves of words, but few got wet. Darkness? What darkness? And today, while divorce for most is a reluctant, painful last resort, for many it is the first resort. Sexual promiscuity is out in the open, women are still fighting for equal recognition and pay, but are now privileged to get ...
... suddenly think of the answer to a question after you've already written in an answer, what can you do about that? (Response -- Someone will say erase it or rub it out.) When I was a small boy in school I didn't always have an eraser, so I would wet my finger and rub the paper. It made a terrible mess! Aren't you glad that someone invented erasers? Erasers make it possible for us to start over and correct our mistakes. You know, God has a way in which He deals with our mistakes. Do you know what that ...
... a team? (Let them answer.) When you are in school, it can be a lot of fun to go and root for your school team. Everyone gets very excited. The band plays the school song and it marches around the field. Sometimes it's raining or snowing and everyone gets wet and muddy, but still the game goes on, doesn't it, boys and girls? What do you do when your team scores a touchdown? (Let them answer.) That's right. You cheer a lot, so that the team will know you are there; you want the team to get excited ...
Object: A picture of a radiator, if possible. Lesson: Like a radiator emanating warmth, the warmth, love, and joy of Christ should emanate from us. When you have been out in the snow building a snowman and you come inside with wet mittens and a red nose and frozen toes, what is the first thing you want to do? (Children respond.) Get warm! Of course. You want to get rid of that cold feeling and warm up. Sometimes, when I come in after being out in the cold, I like to stand ...
... good or bad, right or wrong. It means the person opposed, that's all. God sends the sun and the rain on the good guys and on the bad guys, the righteous and the unrighteous -- but God doesn't tell us which ones we are. God just wets and dries -- all of us. Consider Moses, our great lawgiver, great leader, great prophet, great mediator with God for us, great liberator -- and great murderer, great fugitive from justice in Egypt where he was sought by a legitimate government. If you think about it, America isn ...
... even more now that you are reminiscing together. Sometimes, I think it is only in recalling our experiences that we begin to appreciate them. Seven summers ago, I stood at the altar with my bride. If the truth be told, I was so nervous I was shaking like a wet dog. The minister began to intone those solemn words, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here ...." And the whole time I was thinking: Am I standing in the right place? Who's got the ring? Is he talking to me? What was the question? I think I'm going to ...
... . They were trying to market a new product called "Guilt Away." Guilt Away was supposed to remove guilt. Part of their advertising ran like this: "Hounded by nagging guilt? Get rid of it the modern way, the same way you eliminate limp curls, bad breath or underarm wetness. Spray guilt away with new Guilt Away." What they were trying to do was sell an eight-ounce bottle of rose water that you could spray on yourself when you were feeling guilty. Four bucks a bottle! I doubt that new Guilt Away worked. But if ...
... been out all night fishing in a boat. No doubt they were sweaty and tired. Probably they smelled pretty bad: fishing boats are smelly. Their faces no doubt were dirty, and their hair was all messed up from the wind and the waves. Peter was dripping wet after having impulsively jumped into the Sea of Tiberias and waded to shore. But there's no hesitation, no standing on formality in the Risen Lord's invitation or welcome. It's "Come and have breakfast!" (And what more intimate and informal meal is there than ...
... every knee should bow. It is in his name we pray. Amen. Now, dear Lord, that the leaves have fallen to the ground, we've started to grumble. We try to rake them when they are dry and they crumble into little pieces. If we rake them when they are wet they cling to the grass or to our rakes. We've forgotten the shade they provided when they were green, or the artist's palette they became when they were orange, yellow, and red. Now they cause us work so we grumble. The truth is that this leaf dropping is ...