January 6, this past Wednesday, was the day of Epiphany - the day when the Wise Men brought their gifts to the baby Jesus. Vast sections of the Christian world celebrate Epiphany in a special way. For Eastern Christians especially, this day, not the day which we celebrate as the birth of Jesus, is the occasion for gift giving. More important than that, on the Christian calendar, the season of Epiphany is the season of evangelism and mission. The season when we put the emphasis upon the taking the light of ...
A certain married couple had many sharp disagreements. Yet somehow the wife always stayed calm and collected. One day her husband commented on his wife’s restraint. “When I get mad at you,” he said, “you never fight back. How do you control your anger?” The wife said: “I work it off by cleaning the toilet.” The husband asked: “How does that help?” She said: “I use your toothbrush!” A motorcycle patrolman suffered a minor accident that put him in the hospital for a couple of days. His injuries had been to ...
Brendon Gill, a New York theater critic wrote an article in the New Yorker magazine in which he was bemoaning the way all the Broadway musicals are miked and amplified. He said that in great old theaters where actors had spoken and sung with ease for fifty years, audiences are now obliged to listen to what he called a “totally phony sound.” He said that in an amplified world “the voice is never heard in its ordinary resonance ... it is pure tin” (James Harnish, “Like Father, like son,” June 19, 1983). ...
Maybe you've had a similar experience. There was a mother who asked her two and 1/2 year old daughter: "Would you like an ice cream sundae?" The daughter got real upset and replied, "No...I want ice cream now." (1) Then some time back, in the comic strip The Ryatts, the little boy, Winky is sitting on the couch, Mom comes in and says, "Winky, your socks don't match." Winky looks at his socks and then says, "I tried to find some...but none of the socks in the drawer belong to the same family." (2) Sometimes ...
Today I want to share the story and testimony about one of God''s most faithful servants. His name is Epaphroditus. According to some scholars who share his name, it was common in the era and culture he lived in. It is certainly not a common name today. As Max Lucado shares: "`Epaphro-what-us?'' you say. Just ask the apostle Paul. He''ll give you the correct pronunciation. He''ll also give quite a character reference. To describe this fellow with the five-syllable name, Paul used more succinct words, like ...
[This is an interactive sermon. In order to preach this well, you need to allow your congregants to take part, answer questions, imagine themselves as part of the story.] Prop: ostrich egg I have here an egg. [You can pass around the egg.] This egg belongs to an ostrich. Let me tell you a story about the ostrich, who one day took her eyes off of the place in the sand where she buried her eggs. Lo and behold, when she finally remembered where she had hid them, a predator had come in the night and stolen her ...
Following a morning as guest preacher at a large suburban church, I was approached by a member whom I had spotted during the second morning service. He had been sitting on the very front pew. A large man, he left hardly any room for other persons on the short pew near the chancel. He was not poorly dressed but did present a generally disheveled look, as if appearance were at the bottom of his list of personal priorities. All smiles, he approached me with a hug and the following greeting: "Hey brother! All ...
I have never been to the Holy Land, but I have heard the land described. The "desert" in Palestine is not made up of sand dunes, but of parched, rock-filled crusty soil. It quickly turns to dust in the long dry seasons. This is an arid land where water was used only for the most essential needs. When the rain falls, the thirsty land is satisfied and in a few days the land rejoices with blossoms shooting up everywhere in beautiful array. Soon again the dry season returns, the harvest ends, and the problems ...
I have never been to the Holy Land, but I have heard the land described. The "desert" in Palestine is not made up of sand dunes, but of parched, rock-filled crusty soil. It quickly turns to dust in the long dry seasons. This is an arid land where water was used only for the most essential needs. When the rain falls, the thirsty land is satisfied and in a few days the land rejoices with blossoms shooting up everywhere in beautiful array. Soon again the dry season returns, the harvest ends, and the problems ...
Fascinations often come upon me from the strangest sources. For instance, two recent obituaries strike me as being peculiarly fascinating. The first is that of Vitaly Rubin, aged fifty-eight, a Soviet scholar. Rubin, a native of Moscow, was the former leader of the Soviet Jewish emigration movement. The intrigue here is that in 1976, Rubin, a Russian, was allowed to emigrate to Israel where he taught Chinese philosophy, of all things, at Hebrew University. The other obituary was David Wadell Guion's, aged ...
"And I will set up over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he shall feed them and be their shepherd. And I, the Lord, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them; I, the Lord, have spoken." "And he made us kings and priests unto God and his Father." (Revelation 1:6a [KJV]) A four-year-old boy was about to have a birthday. His mother told him he could have any kind of party he wanted. He asked for a party where everyone would be a king or queen. In preparation for his big day, ...
If you were a Miracle-Worker, and you had one final miracle to perform before dying, what would you choose as a big, never-to-be-forgotten climax? Suppose you had already done such things as calm a storm at sea, multiply five loaves and two fishes into enough food to feed 5,000 people, walked on water, opened blind eyes, caused the dumb to speak, the lame to walk, and the deaf to hear, turned water into wine, and even raised the dead - now you are about to do one more miracle before you die - what would it ...
Was I there, did you ask? Yes, I was there all right. I had to be. I was the man in charge of the soldiers who crucified Jesus of Nazareth. It was a day I’ll never forget, the day when the sun refused to shine. You won’t find my name in the Bible, but if you study any of the traditions associated with the death of Jesus, you may learn that I was called Longinus. But my name is not important. What you should know is that I carried out the arrangements for the crucifixion. As I did my job and watched what ...
A serial killer is the object of a serious psychological study in the novel The Alienist by Caleb Carr. The alienist in the nineteenth century was an expert in mental pathology. In this story, set in 1896, the alienist is Llazo Kreizler, hired by Theodore Roosevelt, then Commissioner of the New York City Police Department. Mr. Roosevelt was intent upon apprehending the serial killer of the young boys caught in the web of an unsavory lifestyle. As Kreizler tries to develop a characterization of the nature ...
A fellow is standing at a bar, just looking at his drink.(1) For a solid half-hour, he just stares at it. Suddenly, a big trouble-making truck driver steps up next to him, takes the drink and chugs it down. The poor schlemiel starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I can't stand to see a man cry." "You don't understand," says the first fellow. "This day is the worst day of my life. First, I sleep through the alarm this morning and get into ...
Religion has always been a rich vein for humorists to mine, particularly the differences between denominations. For example, two men were in an airplane and the plane developed engine trouble. It was clear that they were going to be killed. One said to the other, "Well, this is it. We are going to die. Are you religious?" The other one said, "No, are you?" The first one said, "No. I'm not either. We ought to do something religious, though, because we're going to be dead in a few seconds. Don't you remember ...
There are some people who never let anything get them down. They are like the little boy who kept bragging to his father about what a great batter he was. Finally the father said, "All right, son, show me what you can do!" So the little boy got his softball and bat and they went out to the backyard. The father stood over to the side while the boy tossed the ball up into the air and then swung the bat with all his might. "Strike one," said the little fellow after he had missed the ball completely. "Strike ...
Are you an optimist, or are you a pessimist? I heard about an optimist that was talking to a pessimist, and he said, "Isn't this a beautiful sunny day?" The pessimist replied, "It may be, but if this heat spell doesn't stop very soon, all the grass is going to burn up." Two days later the optimist said to the pessimist, "Isn't this rain wonderful?" The pessimist replied, "Well, if it doesn't stop soon, my garden is going to wash away." The next day the optimist invited the pessimist to go duck hunting. The ...
My parents were married in the wave of weddings that followed World War II. Dad came home from military operations in Europe to start a new life on the farm, and Mom became his partner in the enterprise. There was only one problem — Dad had an older brother who was destined to take over the family agricultural enterprise, and there was not enough work or income to support two families. So Dad began to look for other opportunities. For a while he drove a cattle truck, bringing fattened animals to the sales ...
There is much speculation on the Internet about the origin of the time-honored toast, “Here’s mud in your eye!” Google the sentence and you will find numerous explanations as to its origin. Some say it became common in the trenches of Word War I as mud was everywhere, and in everything, including the drinks. But we know it didn’t originate there. The phrase was being bandied about in U.S. saloons as early as 1890 and was popular with the English fox hunting crowd before then. Others contend it comes from ...
Have mercy! Some of you know that expression from the sitcom “Full House.” Whenever Uncle Jesse kissed his wife, he would exclaim with delight, “Have mercy!” What he meant was, he was overcome with passion, overwhelmed with desire for his beloved Becky. The phrase has also been used to express frustration. When something doesn’t go your way, and you don’t see a way out, you can shout in aggravation, “Have mercy!” That’s like saying, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” or “Oh, come on!” Whether in delight or ...
From Upside Down to Rightside Up by Wayne Brouwer 1. A Portion of Thyself – Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21 2. Into the Wilderness – Luke 4:1-13 3. Mountaintop Experience - Luke 9:28-36 (37-43a) 4. Whose Fault Is It? – Luke 13:1-9 5. In the Mirror - Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32 6. Terms of Endearment – John 12:1-8 7. Scandal - Luke 22:14-23:56 8. Night and Light - John 13:1-17, 31b-35 9. Faces at a Funeral - John 18:1-19:42 10. Creation Reborn - John 20:1-18 What If It’s ALL True? by Lori Wagner 1. The Wild Within – Luke 4:1- ...
The religious people of Jesus’ day got together to try to trap Jesus with their questions. They asked him about paying taxes. They asked him about rising from death. We read today that they asked him what was the greatest commandment. The Jewish rabbis liked to distill the meaning of religion into little phrases like the ones we put on our Burma Shave signs. They had 632 laws and rules for the practice of their religion. They tried to break it down into a couple of inclusive commandments. "Teacher," he ...
"You will not lie about your neighbor" Exodus 20:16 The eighth Commandment consists of only five words in the Hebrew. But despite its brevity, don’t be fooled into thinking that it is unimportant. It speaks to the heart of a fundamental human problem. Its intention is to prevent one man from destroying another with his tongue. In all probability, the original purpose of this guide for living was to assure truth in the law courts. Even today before a witness takes his place before the bench he usually must ...
Let me introduce you to the story of a great man. These are his words, “My first night on the campus,” he said, “a student came to see me. The student said, ‘I’ve come to welcome you here and to tell you that if there’s anything I can do for you to make your stay here more pleasant, I want to do it.’ Then he asked me where I went to church, and I told him I was a Catholic. He said, ‘Well, I can tell you where the Catholic Church is, but it’s not easy to find. It’s quite a distance away, let me draw you a ...