The woman had been sick for a very long time. So long, in fact, she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to turn. Everybody suggested a different remedy, but none of them would work. She visited many physicians, but none of them could help. She stayed sick. As time passed, she grew worse. All those medical bills were bleeding her dry. So when she heard Jesus was coming to town, she pushed her way through the crowd. She'd heard about him, of course. The last time he worked on this side of the sea ...
Call To Worship Have you ever tried to do math without the zero? Trying doing serious multiplication in Roman numerals. That's why twelve is such a handy number. You can split it by one, two, three, four, and six. And twelve is a lot. And twelve twelves, that's a whole lot. And a thousand twelve-twelves? Beyond comprehension. As numerous as the stars in the sky and the grains of sand beside the sea. Collect Lord we are not alone. We are surrounded by the unseen hosts who have confirmed by the manner of ...
The Rev. Rosemary Brown tells of something that happened in a church she once served. One night she received a phone call that two of the little boys from her church were missing. The boys’ family lived across the street from the church. It was already pitch dark. Mom and Dad were in a panic. They searched everywhere and couldn’t find the boys. Rev. Brown opened the door to the church and was going to use the phone in her office to call for more help. As she passed through the darkened sanctuary, she heard ...
Having a family is a challenge. One poor mom described the challenge she has keeping a clean house like this, “Cleaning house with kids around,” she said, “is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.” Yucky! Sounds kind of gross to me. Those of you with small children, however, will have to tell me if she got it right. Humorist Robert Orben asks, “Who can ever forget Winston Churchill’s immortal words: ‘We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in ...
The experience is worse than any walk of shame one sees for people being voted off the program in any television reality show. A woman who is in her upper middle ages had been working in her mid-level management office job for twelve years. She had done all of the right things. She had both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in her field. Her colleagues enjoyed her, as did the people who worked in her department whom she supervised. She kept a cordial relationship with upper management. She wore company ...
Theme: When was it Jesus realized He was God? Summary: A couple is talking about Jesus' baptism and wonder when Jesus knew He was Divine. Playing Time: 3 minutes Place: The home of Sam and Sharon Props: Newspaper for Sam, Bible for Sam Costumes: Contemporary Time: The present Cast: SAM and SHARON, his wife SHARON: (READING BIBLE) Sam, what's this passage all about? SAM: (READING NEWSPAPER) What, dear? SHARON: I said, this passage in the Bible, what's it mean? SAM: Sharon, I'm trying to read the paper. You' ...
What is your AQ? Not your IQ, which is your so-called intelligence quotient, but your AQ, your Anger Quota? Everyone has an AQ. Everyone has a point, a threshold, whatever you call it. If the right buttons are hit, you will get angry and start to growl, and that's your AQ, your Anger Quota. Of course, you and the people sitting around you don't look like you could be angry. As far as you and I can tell, everyone here looks calm, relaxed, quiet, and composed. But under that cool composure there's the ...
A young woman named Donna who got good grades in high school was in her first year of college. She had done poorly on one of her courses. In an attempt to prepare her parents she wrote her mother, "If you see an unfamiliar letter on my report card, remember it's just my first initial. Signed, Donna." As the time neared for grades to be sent home, Donna began to worry. Her worst fears were confirmed one evening when her mother called her. Donna said, "Hi, Mom." Her mother replied coldly, "Hello, Frank." ...
I always wondered what Jesus would do with Mother's Day. There was no such thing in his time, as you know. And contrary to what some people think, Mother's Day is not one of the holy days in the Church's calendar. But I still wonder about Jesus. What would Jesus have done with Mother's Day? Of course, we don't know. But we do know that there was a command, one of the Ten Commandments, to honor your father and your mother. It is a tradition, we are told, that he did observe. The testimony is in two places, ...
One of the most striking things about Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday are the big crowds. We love big crowds and we welcome big crowds. Dressed in new spring clothing (and probably freezing in it!), those who aren't quite regular attenders will swell our numbers next week as the church celebrates the spring miracle of Easter. It's exhilarating to be part of a big crowd, a great gathering of happy, expectant worshipers reaffirming our faith and refilling our spirits with the hopes and promises of the ...
Is there anybody here under pressure? Do you ever feel like you live in a pressure cooker? Did you know that it takes longer to cook food at high altitudes, because at high altitudes the air pressure is much lower than in the lower plains? Because of that the boiling point of water is lower, and therefore it takes much longer to cook food. But in a pressure cooker high pressures are built up within the vessel, which raises the boiling point of water, and food can be cooked within minutes. In fact, the ...
887. It's A 12 Volt Volt System
John 12:24; Mark 2:22
Illustration
Philip W. McLarty
In the old days – I'm talking about the 30s, 40s and 50s here – cars came equipped with a six-volt electrical system. That's all they needed. The engines were small – a hundred horsepower, or so – and they had few accessories – a starter (you had to crank the old Model T by hand), windshield wipers, a cigarette lighter and, if you were in tall cotton, an AM radio. As cars got bigger and more powerful and loaded with all sorts of accessories – including an air conditioner – the old six-volt system couldn't ...
888. Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven
Humor Illustration
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." Forrest responds, "It ...
Bringing Glory to the Temple: Ezra was given two mandates in chapter 7. The first was to lead a party of immigrants back to the homeland and to take along the sacred contributions of the Persian court, the Babylon satrapy, and Jews remaining in exile, and deliver them to the temple authorities in Jerusalem. This first assignment is accomplished here. Apart from the conclusion in verses 35–36, this section comes from the Ezra memoirs and falls into three parts: 7:28b–8:20; 21–30; and 31–34. Each part has a ...
... seem to prefigure symbolically the final rejection of Jesus, culminating in the trial and crucifixion. Is it insignificant that the woman had a twelve-year ailment, and that this number has a long biblical significance as symbolizing Israel? And the girl, the twelve-year-old daughter of a synagogue leader, is doubly linked with Israel. In other words, the sequence of miracles among those identified with Israel, followed by rejection in Jesus’ own village, affords the informed reader with a glimpse of the ...
Bringing Glory to the Temple: Ezra was given two mandates in chapter 7. The first was to lead a party of immigrants back to the homeland and to take along the sacred contributions of the Persian court, the Babylon satrapy, and Jews remaining in exile, and deliver them to the temple authorities in Jerusalem. This first assignment is accomplished here. Apart from the conclusion in verses 35–36, this section comes from the Ezra memoirs and falls into three parts: 7:28b–8:20; 21–30; and 31–34. Each part has a ...
Roland Jaffe’s brilliant and beautiful film, “The Mission” (1986) tells the true story of the Spanish Jesuit missionaries who served the indigenous (Indian) populations of Brazil, Argentina, and Paraguay during the first half of the eighteenth century. The “Jesuit Reductions,” as history has dubbed them, were mission stations created by the Jesuits to bring Christianity to the natives through education and medical service. They were independent of the Spanish government — though protected by it. The plot ...
Comment: Emmanuel Church in Horicon had accepted the Christmas Eve "Pageant" very well (see page 25) but had showed no signs of interest in such drama for sermons. However, when we began planning the Maundy Thursday service, there was a fond remembrance of a tenebrae service, a service of candles, that had been done six years before. I wrote to the former pastor, Rev. Owen Miller, who generously sent what he had done. The concept was to say something about each disciple and extinguish a candle to bring ...
Fast food is a way of life for Americans. McDonald's hamburgers and Swanson's dinners have not yet replaced "mother and apple pie," but they are vying for position. When my family gets into our aging Pontiac to travel for the major part of a day or more, we want to get to our destination quickly. The time we have always seems too short. So we pause to eat along the way at our favorite fast food restaurants, expecting almost instant service, usually receiving it, and then being on our way again. For a brief ...
Today my mother's side of the family is having a reunion in Black River Falls, Wisconsin. It's an annual event. Sometimes we attend. This year we won't. For a preacher and family it's always this question: will we spend one of our four free weekends during the year at a family reunion where you don't know half the people and the other half, which you do know, you wish you didn't! Truthfully, that's not how I feel about family reunions. Mostly I enjoy them. But Erma Bombeck might describe these events as ...
These twelve Jesus sent out, charging them, "Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lest sheep of the house of Israel. And preach as you go, saying, ‘The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ " [Matthew 10:5-7] Have you ever wondered why, with a church on almost every corner in America, so much evil abounds? In a country with approximately 120 million church members, 98 million gamble, costing $5.1 billion per year. In a land where seventy-one percent of the ...
The Feeding of the Five Thousand may well be the most difficult miracle in the Gospels with which we have to deal. And yet it is the one miracle that is most firmly anchored in the Gospels. Of all the miracles which Jesus performed, only this one appears in all four of the Gospels! There must be some strong tradition behind it. The least one can say is that Jesus was the kind of Man about whom His friends could hardly talk except in terms of miracles. Presbyterian Kenneth Foreman, commenting on this ...
Remember how it was in grade school when your class went out on the playground during recess? Doug and Sam, the two big guys, started choosing up sides to play kickball. And the rest of us just sort of stood around and hoped one of them would pick us for their team. And how affirming, how exciting it was to hear your name called and know that you were wanted. And it's the same in this big lonesome world that doesn't seem to need us very much. It's easy to feel left out, unchosen. But the Good News of the ...
The fifth chapter of the gospel of Mark is a menu of miracles. There are three miracles in this chapter, each of which illustrate the authority and the sovereignty of the Lord Jesus Christ. In the first miracle, a man comes to Jesus bound in chains, bleeding from cuts, controlled by demonic forces. Jesus cast out these demons. He frees this man from the hounds of hell that have hunted him and haunted him, and changes him from a child of the devil to a child of God. Then Jesus encounters a woman with a ...
Thomas Wolfe, the author best known for the novel, You Can't Go Home Again, once said this about loneliness: Loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon...is the central and inevitable fact of human existence. When we examine the moments, acts, and statements of all kinds of people not only the grief and ecstasy of the greatest poets, but also the huge unhappiness of the average soul is evidenced by the innumerable strident words of abuse, hatred, contempt, mistrust, and scorn that forever ...