Doctors are so busy nowadays. More and more of them are running their practices like an assembly line. Doc Blakely tells about a fellow who walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in an ...
Writer Adele Hooker remembers a point when she and her family were going through some rough times. They had very little to eat, but one day her husband unexpectedly asked some friends over for dinner. Adele was dumbfounded: there was no food in the house! How could she possibly feed guests? So she went into her bedroom, knelt down and asked God what she could do. As she prayed she seemed to hear a voice telling her, "You have meat in the freezer." Right. Half a pound of hamburger. That wouldn't go very far ...
There is an old story of a man sitting on a dock with a fishing pole and his line in the water. A passerby inquires, "Fishing?" The man on the dock replies, "Nope, just drowning worms." Writer Robert Fulghum admits that he's no fisherman, although he says he does sometimes enjoy it. Well, one summer day he, a friend of his, his nephew, and his friend's son decided to go fishing. His friend said that he knew a certain lake nearby that was absolutely teeming with fish, and they'd be sure to catch something ...
Actor Rex Harrison and his former wife Elizabeth were dining with a few friends at the "21" Club. While they were preparing to order, as happens so often with actors, a handsome young man got up from a nearby table and came over to meet them. He said, "We just got in on the last flight. You've given me so much pleasure through the years, Mr. Harrison, I just had to come over to thank you." Harrison nodded his head graciously and returned his attention to the wine list as soon as the young man had left ...
Several years ago Frank Court told the story of a student at Iowa State University who took to selling magazine subscriptions for additional income. He determined that a likely customer might be the president of the University. The student was greeted at the door by the president's wife who was able to resist his sales pitch by saying that her husband already received more magazines than he could read. The student assured her that he understood and turned to leave. It was then the president's wife saw ...
Comedian Bob Hope was accepting a plaque at an honorary dinner. He listened as his many contributions to humanity were lauded. When it was his turn to speak, he said that he had stopped letting such honors go to his head. "I just got a call from a fellow who said I'd been named Man of the Year by his organization," Hope said, "because I was America's outstanding citizen, greatest humanitarian, and so forth. It was going to be the biggest dinner, biggest civil reception ever. I told him I was sorry, but I ...
It is a true story - no matter how much like a fairy tale it may sound. A totally unsuspecting man literally stumbled upon the world's largest diamond - all 3,106 carats of it. It happened in Premier Mine #2, near Pretoria, South Africa, in early 1905. This amazing stone was then sent in an ordinary cardboard box to England. One hundred and five stones were cut from this diamond, known as the Cullinan diamond. Two of the largest stones which it produced, the 530-carat Star of Africa and the 317-carat ...
A Jewish comedian tells about two men of his faith who met on the street. "Abe, why are you looking so sad?" asks Isaac. Abe answers: "It's my son. I sent him off to college, and now he has come back home all full of Gentile ideas. Where did I go wrong?" Isaac says: "FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION IT! My son, too, has come home from college, with his head all messed up, filled with Gentile ideas. There is but one course open to us. We will ask the Rabbi." So they go to the Synagogue and obtain an audience with ...
Sometimes it's called sweet revenge. This report is from London. Janine Brooks was a dental student when a man ran into her car and drove away. That was ten years ago. Her damaged car resulted in a considerable financial burden on her student income but the motorist neither apologized nor ever paid for the damage he had done. Now it is 10 years later. Janine Brooks, the former student, is a dentist, and guess who comes to her office needing a tooth to be pulled. He did not recognize her; she did recognize ...
The movie, The Bridge on the River Kwai, chronicles the work of a group of soldiers, imprisoned by the Japanese during the Second World War. These soldiers were forced to build a railway across a very difficult section of mountains between Burma and Siam. Eric Lomax, a British soldier, is a reallife survivor of that group of prisoners. Throughout his imprisonment, Eric and thousands of other British soldiers were starved and tortured, and many died. When the Japanese officers suspected Eric of having a ...
One of the strangest plays in baseball took place years ago at Ebbets Field, home of the old Brooklyn Dodgers. The Dodgers had men on first and second with no outs. The batter hit a towering fly to right center. The runners stayed close to their bases, thinking the ball would be caught. The batter, however, ignoring the men already on base, lowered his head and charged around the bases like a stampeding bull. The two base runners were bewildered. What were they to do? They couldn't let him pass them on the ...
Did you read about that Arab sheik out in California who has a limousine that is 66 ½ feet long? True story. It's a white Lincoln Town Car that can carry 36 passengers. It's in two pieces with a hitch in the middle like a tractortrailer so it can bend around corners. It has five axles. A normal Town Car is 18 feet long; most city buses are only 40 feet but this baby is 66 ½ feet long. It has two fax machines, cellular telephones, TV sets, love seats and a microwave. It's going to get a satellite ...
Two country boys, Zeke and Zeb, decided to build a Bungee Jumping tower down in Mexico to see if it would make them some money. After they got it set up, they noticed that the crowds gathered around but nobody was buying tickets. Zeke said to Zeb, "Maybe you should demonstrate it to them so they get the idea." After Zeb was strapped on he jumped and fell almost to the ground before springing back. As he came back up Zeke noticed that Zeb's clothes were torn and wondered what that was all about. Zeb went ...
It's a classic children's story told time and time again. A little boy is asked by his kindergarten teacher where his heart is. He points to the seat of his pants. "Why do you say that is where your heart is?" asks the kindergarten teacher. "Because," said the little boy, "My grandmother is always patting me there and saying, ˜Bless your little heart.'" There is no more relevant question that we can ask than this one: "Where is your heart?" SOME OF YOU WOULD SAY THAT YOUR HEART IS WITH YOUR FAMILY. And ...
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church was having a special candlelight service. The church lights were lowered; then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until this three-year-old started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you . . ." (1) It was only a candlelight service, but it seemed like a birthday party to her. And today [tonight], she would be right! This is a celebration of Jesus' birthday. ...
The rest of the world must surely marvel at the nature of religion in America. For example, you may have read in the newspapers sometime back about the newly formed Positive Impact Church in South Centre, Pa. According to Associated Press reports this church advertised a raffle. Two thousand people signed up. Apparently they didn't read the fine print. They had to attend Sunday services to be eligible to win the prize of $1,000. Only about 30 showed up. "Where are all the people?" asked the minister, ...
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner. His family bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited ...
A few years back, Jim Stovall decided to become a stock broker. Even though he is blind, Jim has a determination and commitment to hard work that has helped him to transcend his disability. Jim also has a wife, Crystal, who supports and encourages him in everything he does. Jim and Crystal studied hard to get through the broker exams, then went through training sessions together. Most of the other students in the training sessions were better educated and better trained than Jim. They had no handicap to ...
Every once in a while, there is a news story that is both bizarre and tragic. In Spain, for example, a poacher shot a stag deer that was standing on an overhanging rock above him. Unfortunately he didn’t take the time to calculate where the deer might fall. It fell directly on him; he was killed instantly. (1) Equally as bizarre and tragic was the story of a 22-year-old man who was killed when he tried to use occy straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end) to bungee jump off a 70-foot ...
Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he'd become comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and a large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, and went to the door. A salesman wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath. The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and towels, and the man started for the door again. This time, however, he took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell, and hit his back against the ...
When Communist forces invaded Vietnam in the 1950s, Hien Pham, like many Vietnamese Christians, was arrested and jailed for his beliefs. After his release from prison, Pham made plans to escape Vietnam. He secretly began building a boat. Fifty-three fellow Vietnamese made plans to escape with him. One day, four Vietcong soldiers came to Pham's house and confronted him. They heard he was planning an escape. Was it true? Of course, Hien Pham lied to them. If he had told the truth, the Vietcong might have ...
"You must be brave to come down in a one hundredmile per hour gale like this in a parachute," the farmer said to the young soldier. "I didn't come down like this in a chute," said the soldier. "I went up in a tent." A one hundred mile per hour gale hit the disciples of Jesus on that first Pentecost. They didn't come down in a parachute. They went up in a tent. The events of that day were dramatic. The disciples were together to celebrate the Jewish Harvest Festival known as Pentecost. Suddenly, there was a ...
It has never been easy to be a prophet. Prophets speak for God. Since the things God would say to us, if we gave God a chance, are often not things we would want to hear, true prophets of the Lord have never been very popular. A soldier was trying to get a check cashed in the small town near the base to which he had been assigned. "I'm sorry," said the merchant who was waiting on him, "but I can't cash your check without some kind of identification. Haven't you got any friends at the base who could vouch ...
A psychology professor at Yale University has listed the 12 most persuasive'' words in salesmanship. Third on his list is the word "new" as in "Buy it, it''s new." We like the word new, don't we? We like it in the cars we drive and the houses we live in and the clothes we wear. "Give me something new," may be the slogan of every American. And that is what our message is about today. What a magnificent opportunity Christ has given us—the opportunity to make new starts and fresh beginnings. The word "new" ...
Visitors to Michigan never fail to be amused when they discover that our state contains both a Hell and a Paradise, Michigan. Paradise is in the Upper Peninsula, and Hell is not too far from Ann Arbor. I have no idea what that means. The first week I arrived in Ann Arbor, I recall reading a startling headline in the Ann Arbor News. I kid you not, this is what it said: “Dam water recedes; Hell out of danger.” In this sermon I would suggest that, Biblically speaking, Hell is never out of danger as long as ...