Infidel, n.: in New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.Ambrose Bierce
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.Ambrose Bierce
It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.Ambrose Bierce
Jealous, adj.: Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.Ambrose Bierce
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.Ambrose Bierce
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n.: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making, in all, two.Ambrose Bierce
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.Ambrose Bierce
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.Ambrose Bierce
Patriotism: Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.Ambrose Bierce
