Prop: Model boat or a painting of a boat on stormy seas “Don’t rock the boat!” How many times have you heard that? “Don’t rock the boat!” It means to “keep the peace,” to “not stir things up,” to not push the envelope, to not provoke, to avoid change and stay in the box…and keep things the same. To worship the status quo. If you do “rock the boat,” who knows? Something unexpected might happen! And surely that wouldn’t be good! I imagine that must have been the way Jesus’ disciples felt about their world ...
The crowds had grown. Jesus had been in Galilee for a while now, speaking, healing, and calling his disciples to follow him. The leaders from Jerusalem certainly had their spies keeping an eye on him, but with the crowds he was gathering, all they could do right now was watch and listen. Wherever Jesus went, there were always a few Pharisees and Sadducees in the crowd looking for things he might do or say they could use against him when they did finally get the chance. His disciples occasionally reminded ...
The speaker at a woman's club was lecturing on marriage and asked the audience how many of them wanted to "mother" their husbands. One member in the back row raised her hand. "You mean you really want to mother your husband?" the speaker asked. "Mother?" the woman said. "I thought you said smother." A Protestant young man was marrying a Catholic girl. They met with her priest to sign some prewedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, the young man read aloud a few questions. When he got to the ...
Theme: We can be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good. Summary: Minny, a Christian woman, is preparing for bed as a thief enters. She mistakes the thief for Jesus coming back to take her to heaven. Dan, the thief, takes the opportunity to rob her of everything of value in the house. Playing Time: 4-5 minutes Setting: A neutral playing area that represents Minny's home, with a screen for the thief to hide behind Props: A black garbage bag Costumes: Minny -- Pajamas, bathrobe, hair curlers Dan -- ...
Lent 1 Reader 1: God spoke to Moses saying: "You shall keep the Festival of Shavuot for the Lord your God, contributing a freewill offering in proportion to the blessing that you have received from the Lord." Reader 2: In Jesus' day, the Festival of Shavuot required every male in Israel to travel to the Temple of Jerusalem. There he offered God the first ripe fruits of this land. It was a time of thanksgiving for the goodness of the land. On Shavuot, it was said, Heaven decided the fate of the trees and ...
I heard about an expert in diamonds who happened to be seated on an airplane beside a woman with a huge diamond on her finger. Finally, the man introduced himself and said, "I couldn't help but notice your beautiful diamond. I am an expert in precious stones. Please tell me about that stone." She replied, "That is the famous Klopman diamond, one of the largest in the world. But there is a strange curse that comes with it." Now the man was really interested. He asked, "What is the curse?" As he waited with ...
Dr. Harold Brack, the much beloved professor of Speech and Communications at Drew Theological Seminary, often shared with us that there are some Biblical texts which should be approached with great awe and reverence and preached only with fear and trembling, because no matter how much we share, it is only a glimpse or a snapshot of a much greater picture of truth. St. Jerome once said, "The Bible is like a stream in which elephants must swim and lambs may wade." This is especially true of this passage. As ...
In a few short years, Dan Brown’s 2003 novel, The Da Vinci Code, became one of the most widely read books of all time. The 2006 Ron Howard Hollywood movie starring Tom Hanks only made the novel all the more popular. Why such a blockbuster for a novel about Jesus? Because it was well-written? Because it was well-researched? No, the real reason The Da Vinci Code caught fire was because it served up a juicy heretical tidbit as its main course: the suggestion that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and that ...
I heard about a man that went to see his doctor because he was feeling absolutely terrible. The doctor gave him a careful examination, left the room to look at some tests, came back in with a very somber expression on his face, and said: "Sir, I don't know how to break the news to you, but you have rabies and you're going to die very soon." The man very calmly got out a piece of paper and began furiously writing. The doctor said: "What are you doing, making out your will?" He said: "Oh no, I'm writing out ...
There is a calendar titled The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said. Each day features a stupid statement from somebody. A page in the calendar had this amazing quote. Listen closely: “If you bought our course, ‘How To Fly In Six Easy Lessons,’ we apologize for any inconvenience caused by our failure to include the last chapter, ‘How To Land Your Plane Safely.’ Send us your name and address and we will send you the last chapter posthaste. Requests by estates will be honored.” (1) If you are a pilot, I hope you ...
Have you done your last will and testament yet? It’s not meant to be a morbid question as we begin today. We all need to plan for the future. One of the things we must plan is how we are going to distribute our estate—our stuff—after we die. When you do your last will and testament, one of the things you will think about is what you will do with your most valuable possessions. What are those to you? Your home and investments, sure. But when you think about what is most valuable to you, maybe you also think ...
I don’t know of a more inviting invitation: “Come to me and I will give you rest.” Jesus speaks to the woman who cannot sleep, to the child who is anxious, and to the man is bone-tired. Come ... rest. The invitation is gentle, not forceful. He speaks from a level place, a humble place. His invitation includes all: “all you,” or as they say in the South, “y’all.” There’s not a single person excluded. Everybody come, come and rest. What intrigues me is why so many people turn him down. Have you ever noticed ...
You may remember reading or hearing of the Korean Christian group who predicted that Christ was going to return on October 28, 1992, all Christians would be taken to heaven, and the rest of the world would enter the terrible catastrophes of the end times. Well, we're still here, and unless you count the presidential election which was held a month later as a terrible apocalyptic catastrophe, I don't see that the ordinary catastrophes were much worse than usual. There's nothing new in this miscalculation of ...
When things don’t work out, what then? An old man looked back over his life and said, "I have had a great many disappointments, but the greatest of them is the disappointment I had as a boy. When I was a boy, I crawled under a tent to see a circus and discovered that I was in a revival meeting!" There are many instances in our life of this matter of disappointment. A bride and groom walk out of a church after a beautiful wedding ceremony with great dreams and high hopes of their future life together, but ...
Exodus 20:7 "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not acquit anyone who misuses his name." Or, as the venerable King James has it, "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain..." On a bulletin board outside an Episcopal church recently was this message: "You say his name often enough on the highway. Why not try saying it in church? You'll feel much better using the Lord's name in prayer. Worship this Sunday."(1) Interesting. The Reuters news ...
In the movie The Truman Show, Truman Burbank believes his life is no different from anyone else's. He has one life to live, just like the rest of us. But one day he begins to notice peculiar things happening. For example he notices things that happen exactly the same way every day. This causes him to get suspicious that something strange is going on. What he doesn't realize is that every second of his life from the day he was born has been telecast live to the entire planet. He is the star of The Truman ...
In the delightfully funny off-Broadway play "Nunsense", one of the main characters is Sister Mary Amnesia who arrives at the Convent in her "habit" without a clue to her identity, remembering only that a large Crucifix had fallen on her head. The Reverend Mother in the play once states about Sister Mary that "she is a good building but, unfortunately, nobody is at home." Toward the end of the play, Sister Mary, while singing, remembers her name and her identity and further discovers that she has won the ...
A few years ago, a barber's supply association had a convention in Chicago. As a publicity stunt they went out to skid row and found a man living in the gutter, filthy dirty and filthy drunk. They brought him back to the convention center and cleaned him up. They shampooed and shaved him. They washed him with a new kind of soap they were trying to sell. They put cologne on him, bought him a new suit, shirt, tie and shoes - - and then they proclaimed to all the world: "This is what our barber supplies can ...
Many of you know my struggle between like-dislike, appreciation-confusion, with Gary Larson's "Far Side" cartoons. I vacillate between like-dislike, appreciation-confusion. I keep on reading them, and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because he gives me something now and then to flavor a sermon. Such is the case with this one. It depicts a bug resting on a leaf which gently sways over a lovely pond. The bug is on his back in the crook of the leaf, his ankles are crossed, and two of his six arms are ...
Last Sunday, Easter Sunday, was crowded. Crowded with friends. Crowded with newcomers. Crowded with guests and families of members. Crowded with those who come to church twice-a-year. Crowded with those who never-miss-a-Sunday. This week . . . the Sunday after Easter...maybe not so crowded? No wonder it's dubbed "Low Sunday." There is time and elbow room enough to look up and down the pews and see old friends and maybe even ask, "Did you have a nice Easter?" But that question is wrong. Easter isn't over. ...
Now that we're deep into fall, it's the time for an annual battle to begin again. For those of us in cold climates the yearly ritual of feeding the wintering birds is underway. And with that tradition comes yet another annual event - the war against the squirrels. Why it matters so much to nature lovers that they feed only the feathered and never the furred creatures is somewhat of a mystery. But there have been thousands of dollars spent in the name of squirrel defense over the years. Anyone living in a ...
There have been some famous names in our history. Everyone knows John and Jackie, as in Kennedy, George and Martha, as in Washington; James and Dolly, as in Madison. In the Bible, there have also been some famous couples. As I thought about some of these couples, a thought immediately came to my mind about each one of them. One famous couple was Ahab and Jezebel: about them, I thought; they lived by the sword, they died by the sword. Then there was Ruth and Boaz: The thought came to my mind; they met, they ...
These four chapters contain the second of the three great visions of the Lord’s Glory that punctuate Ezekiel’s prophecy. As with the first (chs. 1–3), Ezekiel dates this second vision to the precise day (8:1), refers to the hand of the Lord (8:1), and titles it “visions of God” (8:3). Further, he makes explicit reference to the earlier vision (8:4; 10:15, 20, 22), including summary descriptions of some portions (e.g., compare 8:2 with 1:26–27) and virtually repeating others (e.g., compare 10:9–12 with 1:15 ...
A little boy was standing on the side of the road when a man drove by who was lost. He stopped and rolled down his window and said, "Son, how do you get to town?" The little boy said, "I don't know." He said, "Where is Route 20?" The little boy said, "I don't know." He said, "Where does this road go?" The little boy said, "I don't know." The man, now exasperated said, "What is the name of this street that I am on?" The little boy said, "I don't know." The man sighed and said, "Boy, you don't know anything ...
Theme: God calls his own and chooses those who are to live as his dear friends, regardless of our human categories and distinctions. COMMENTARY Lesson 1: Acts 10:44-48 (C); Acts 10:25-26, 34-35, 44-48 (RC) The pericope for the Revised Common Lectionary features the outcome of Peter's encounter with Cornelius, the Roman Centurion. As Peter was explaining the gospel, the Holy Spirit came down on all the believers, including, for the first time, Gentiles. Since God had favored the Gentiles with the Holy ...