I would be the last person to tell you that the Bible is an easy book to read. How many dear, devout souls have resolved to read the Bible straight through, from Genesis to Revelation, only to fall away after a couple of chapters? It's not only that the Bible is an ancient book, written in ancient tongues. One of the most distressing aspects of biblical religion is the way it shuttles back and forth between the earthly and the eternal, the fleshly and the spiritual. Oh, there are parts of the Bible which ...
A cartoon in a national magazine showed Moses with two stone tablets under his arm coming down from Mount Sinai. He said to the Israelites, "I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that I got Him down to ten. The bad news is that adultery is still in there." The seventh commandment is very simple: "You shall not commit adultery." The word adultery means the sexual involvement of a married person with someone other than his or her spouse. In the original Hebrew it meant to add something to a ...
The six-year-old came home from Palm Sunday services proudly carrying his palm. Mom and Dad quizzed him on his Sunday School lesson for the day. He responded enthusiastically, "Jesus came to Jerusalem on a donkey. And the happy people waved their palm branches and sang, O Suzanna..."(1) Happy people singing. What a special day! Jerusalem was going to be Camelot, and Jesus was going to be King Arthur. The crowds were dreaming of trumpets and towers, capes and sashes, flowing robes and sparkling scepters. ...
So when they had come together they asked him, "Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?" He replied, "It is not for you to know the times . . . but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." "Lord, is this the time? Is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?" Israel had waited. And waited. And waited. Craving the reestablishment of David's ...
An Upbeat Word for a Downbeat World, #9 The choir director selected the 6-year-old boy with the sweetest face in the production for the opening scene of the play. "Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the choir to sing "?And the angel lit the candle,' you come onstage and light all the candles." "I can do it! I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to be the one picked. Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir was in grand voice, the stage was beautifully decorated ...
Security has become big business in our world. Burglar and smoke alarms are wired directly from private homes to police and fire stations. Automobiles give forth major noises in the parking lots of shopping malls because some owner has inadvertently pushed the wrong button on a key pad. High school students walk through metal detectors to enter their school buildings. Even business phones and credit cards are "protected" by a user's password or "PIN" number. So pervasive is the concern for security that a ...
Humorous newspaper columnist Dave Barry once made an interesting observation: “If there really is a God, who created the entire universe with all its glories,” wrote Barry, “and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as his messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. Barry’s probably right. I certainly would not look to a TV preacher--even one with a good hairstyle--to bring me an accurate depiction of God. But I have to ask what would Dave Barry do with John the Baptist? ...
Bob Hope died in 2003 at age 100. Before Bob died, his wife Dolores asked him where he wanted to be buried. And Bob, in his usual comedic style, answered, "Surprise me!" One night when Bob was in his prime he reported his activity for the day. "Today," he said, "my heart beat 103,369 times. My blood traveled 168 miles. I breathed 23,040 times. I inhaled 438 cubic feet of air. I ate three and a quarter pounds of food and drank two pounds of liquid. I perspired one and a half pints. I gave off 85 degrees of ...
This last week I got a letter addressed to, "The Pastor of the MethodistChurch," unsigned. It began, "To the church that awaits my coming. I am the Lord." That got my attention. This is from Jesus, I could see. It was handwritten, which I want to point out to all of you who have been trying to get me to get a computer. I just follow Jesus. When he gets one, I'll get one. I read on. "I am not pleased with those who claim to be members of my body. You have turned away from me." The letter continues with an ...
When you have your picture taken, are you nervous about the results? They say "the camera doesn't lie," but you and I know better. A woman said to the photographer, "I hope your camera will do me justice." He said, "Ma'am, you don't need justice, you need mercy." The title of this sermon comes from an old aphorism, "If you look like your passport picture, you need the trip." I renewed my driver's license a little while ago. I got one of these new California driver's licenses with your picture on it. So I ...
What a motley crew, a seemingly mismatched band of brothers—a red-headed dwarf, a wispy Elfin, a quartet of hairy-toed hobbits and a couple of fumbling and feuding humans. It's a strange and unlikely assembly, especially when arrayed against the overwhelming and foreboding forces of evil that surround them. An odd and rag-tag bunch with the most improbable mission…to save the world! It's the "Fellowship of the Ring" in Tolkien's massive narrative, and it's not at all unlike the odd collection of improbable ...
A mother was out walking with her 4 year old daughter. The child picked up something off the ground and started to put it into her mouth. The mother took it away and said “Don’t do that!” “Why not?” asked the child. “Because it’s on the ground,” said her mother. “You don’t know where it’s been. It’s dirty, and it’s probably loaded with germs that could make you sick.” The child looked at her mother with total admiration and said, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You’re so smart.” The mother said, “ ...
Some of you are familiar with a 26-year-old blogger in Montreal, Canada named Kyle MacDonald. Kyle is the ultimate modern day horse trader. He has become famous for trading a red paper clip for a house. Yes, you heard right. A paper clip for a house. How did he accomplish this remarkable exchange? Well, he didn’t have a job, but one day he looked at a red paper clip on his desk and decided to trade it on the barter section of the popular website Craigslist. He asked people to trade with him anything of ...
Jesus knew what rejection felt like. When he preached his first sermon in his hometown of Nazareth, things went well in the beginning. But after he was finished, the people ran him out of town. They even tried to run him off a cliff, but he managed to escape. That was the first time Jesus experienced rejection for what he was trying to do for God, but it was not to be the last. Many of us know how it feels, even though the circumstances may not be as dramatic. An excellent student minister was rejected by ...
Welcome to worship on this Valentine’s Day, 2010. That’s a reminder to the husbands in the congregation, just in case you forgot. According to one source, it is easy TO TELL YOU FORGOT VALENTINE’S DAY. Here are some dead giveaways: The kids tell you that Mom “went to bed early” and “locked the door” . . . while you were taking out the trash. Hallmark calls, offering discounts on apology cards. You wake up with a florist’s ad stapled to your forehead. (1) Just a friendly warning. And I also need to say ...
Have you ever had something backfire on you, making you feel as though you had spit into the wind? Leo Buscaglia tells about a man who was driving his car on a narrow, winding country road. He came to a hairpin curve and accidentally crossed the center dividing line a bit. A woman driving in the opposite way had to swerve to avoid hitting him. As they passed, she yelled out her window, “Pig!” Why that - that so-and-so the man thought. Instantaneously, he shouted back, “Sow! Then he rounded the curve and ...
Several years ago on the cover of The Saturday Evening Post, there was a painting by Norman Rockwell showing a woman buying her Thanksgiving turkey. The turkey was lying on the scales, and the butcher was standing back of the counter, apron pulled tight over his fat stomach, a pencil tucked behind his ear. The customer, a lovely lady of about 60, stood watching the weighing in. Each of them had a pleased look as if each knew a secret joke. There’s nothing unusual about a butcher and a customer watching as ...
It would take very little personal conversation among us this morning to discover the healing, encouraging, strengthening, supporting, comforting power the Psalms have been in our individual lives. A variety and a large number of Psalms would be pointed to as the ones that have ministered to you in a particular time of need. At our Administrative Board meeting two weeks ago, Karla Grant shared her Christian pilgrimage verses from the Psalms. This is her story. Six weeks after she and Don welcomed their ...
In Concord, California, a customer became enraged at an automated teller, and kept punching it because the machine refused to dispense $80 from the man’s account. The customer was arrested and charged with “malicious mischief.” This is not an isolated incident. According to police reports, so many people were beating up on automated machines when they first appeared everywhere in the 1980’s that it became this nation’s most serious crime problem. Does it make you mad? I’ve seen people livid with anger, ...
A group of boys and girls was asked to sum up what they had learned from the New Testament. Here is a summation of what they had learned: “Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. “Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to ...
Today we’re going to talk about hair. That’s a universal subject, isn’t? All of us have hair well at least most of us. A balding man once asked his barber, “Why do you charge me full price for cutting my hair? There’s so little of it.” “Actually I don’t charge you that much,” said the barber. “But I do have to tack on a finder’s fee.” A little boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother: “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?” “That’s your father,” said ...
“Congratulations, today’s your day. You’re off to great places. You’re off and away. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” Those rhythmic words of advice come from the delightful little book by Dr. Seuss titled Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (1) “You’re on your own,” he continues. “And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” It’s up to us, says Dr. Seuss. The world is ours and we are free to choose what kind ...
Having trouble sleeping through the night? You're not alone. Samuel did, too. Sometimes you hear a haunting phrase that sticks with you years later. I heard one like that from Gardner Taylor, that great African-American preacher who once held forth in the pulpit of Concord Baptist Church in Brooklyn. I don't even remember the sermon, which is all right — we're not supposed to remember sermons anymore than we should remember meals; we're supposed to be fed and challenged by them at the moment. I don't ...
Pastor Scott Hippler tells about a day when he was about 7 years old. His grandmother had taken him and his cousin to the grocery store. On the way, his grandmother stopped at another store for a few minutes. Young Scott and his cousin stayed in the car. Scott Hippler blames his grandmother for what happened next. She was gone longer that she had said she would be. Back then, he remembers, they put prizes in laundry detergent boxes as an incentive for people to buy those detergents. His grandmother always ...
Somewhere along the way I saw a cartoon of an elderly man of obvious wealth on a canopied death bed, surrounded by servants, family members, lawyers, and all sorts of “hangers-on”. It was quite clear why most of the people had gathered there, but now the old gentleman is sitting up with his arms folded and a very determined look on his face. One bystander says to another, “Someone just told him he couldn’t take it with him, and so he says he isn’t going.” We chuckle at that. It’s a caricature that is not ...