The school bus was filled with children discussing various topics as children often do. Suddenly waxing serious, A.J. asked the group, "Where is heaven? I don't know." The group gave it some serious thought, but none of them seemed willing to answer. However, as it always works with kids of any age, one young man rose to his feet, turned to A.J. and began to address the group in response to the question of the hour. "That's easy," said Matthew. "The way you get to heaven is to go to the North Pole, put it ...
Jim closed his check book with a sigh and sipped on his coffee. It's been a rough year. He thought back to the early days when he first started his business. Such high hopes. But competition's stiffer now. Costs are rising. Still, he's thankful. He's survived. He and his family are doing well. He thought back to when he and Ann first married. They were so young. What did they know about the responsibilities of married life? Oh, nobody could tell them, of course. She was so beautiful. Still is. It all seems ...
Sue Monk Kidd was telling the story of Jonah to her six-year-old vacation Bible school class, and the children fell into a discussion about how they would manage to escape if swallowed like Jonah. "I'd start a fire in the whale's stomach, and he'd cough me out!" declared one fellow, no doubt remembering the scene from Pinocchio. "I'd stomp on his tongue till he spit me out," said another. The suggestions grew wilder by the minute. Suddenly, a thoughtful little girl spoke up: "I'd call my daddy and wait ...
A Jewish boy in grade school was listening to his Hebrew teacher quoting the most important of all the Hebrew Scriptures, Deuteronomy 6:4: "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one." "When will He be two?" the little fellow asked after mulling this over for a moment in his mind. If the Lord is one, then surely, some day, He will be two. It reminds me of something Mickey Rivers, an outfielder for the Texas Rangers baseball team once said about his warm relationship with Yankee owner George ...
A juggler with a circus was pulled over for speeding. The officer was suspicious when he looked in the back seat and saw several large knives. "What are you doing with those?" he asked. "I'm a juggler with the circus," said the man. "To make it more exciting I juggle those large knives." "Well, show me," said the officer. So the juggler started juggling six of these large knives all at once. Knives were flying everywhere, though amazingly all of them were expertly under his control. While he was performing ...
Dr. David Jeremiah tells about a suburban neighborhood in which several residents were extremely upset at the reckless and fast driving that was occurring in their quiet subdivision. They organized a petition drive and demanded that the police patrol the area with greater frequency and penalize drivers who ignored the speed limits. The police obliged and immediately ticketed five drivers who ignored the speed limits. All of them were fuming at the fines they received. It seems, however, that all five of ...
Is there anyone in this room who doesn't enjoy looking good? We all do--whether we admit it or not. And when we feel like we don't look good, it affects how we feel about ourselves. There was a study done by researchers at Yale University sometime back on what are often called "bad hair days." This study found that on those days when our hair just won't cooperate, we feel less smart, less capable, more embarrassed and less sociable. What was surprising to the researchers was that men, not women, were most ...
"Five Things Christians Should Never Say," #5 A would-be burglar in Pennsauken, N.J. needed to make sure the door to the company he was looting wouldn't fully close while he was burgling the place, so he stuck a piece of paper in the door. The piece of paper was a traffic ticket he'd been issued for driving with a cracked windshield. Police found the ticket, with a name and address on it, still in the door the next day, which proved helpful in their pursuit of the burglar, who was arrested at his home in ...
Former President Reagan told a humorous story during the last days of his administration. It was about Alexander Dumas, author of The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo. It seems that Dumas and a friend had a severe argument. The matter got so out of hand that one challenged the other to a duel. Both Dumas and his friend were superb marksmen. Fearing that both men might fall in such a duel they resolved to draw straws instead. Whoever drew the shorter straw would then be pledged to shoot ...
When I read these words of Jesus, that "if thy hand offend thee, cut it off," or "when thy eye offend thee, pluck it out," I am reminded of the story of a rich man who was trying to hire a chauffeur and he interviewed three men for the job. He pointed to a high cliff near his home and he said to the three men, "Suppose you were driving me on the edge of that cliff--how close to the side could you safely come?" One man said, "I could easily drive the car within 6 inches of that cliff, and not think anything ...
An old prospector came into a saloon in frontier California and ordered a glass of milk with a shot of whiskey in it. While the bartender was fixing his drink, the old prospector wandered over to speak to some of his friends. Before he came back, a man came in wearing a black threadbare coat. He walked up to the bartender and timidly said, "Sir, I'm a poor traveling Methodist circuit rider. I've just made it across the desert. I'm bone dry. Could you let me have that foamy glass of milk I see you've just ...
I'd like to start off today with a story from the Old West. A trapper was being chased by a grizzly bear. He dropped his gun, his pack, and everything else that he could possibly unload so that he could run faster, but the bear was still gaining ground. Finally he was forced to make a stand. He ran into a small clearing and put his back to a stump, taking out his knife as he did so. The bear also stopped, about a foot away, with its teeth bared and claws extended. The trapper, though not generally a ...
Any of you who have ever tried speaking in front of people will appreciate the predicament that Dr. Ralph D. Nichols of the University of Minnesota once found himself in. He was addressing a high school commencement when suddenly a child began to cry. That was distracting, but not too much of a problem. But then another child added his loud voice. And then a couple of small boys started galloping up and down the aisle. With the sinking feeling only a public speaker knows, Nichols realized he had lost his ...
In The Winter's Tale, Act 1, Scene 2, the King of Bohemia is told that his suspicious host is plotting against him. He believes it because he recalls the look of enmity on his host's face. The king puts it like this: "I saw his heart in his face." Gilbert Stuart took one look at Talleyrand, the French ambassador, and said, "If that man isn't a scoundrel, God doesn't write a legible hand." A selfish prince once had a magician create a mask that would make him look kind so that he might win the heart of the ...
The voice on the other end of the line identified its owner as a representative of the Internal Revenue Service. The caller asked, “Did John Jones give $10,000 to your church last year?” The pastor thought for a moment, and then carefully replied, “He will!” If there is anything that strikes terror into the hardiest of hearts it is the dread acronym: IRS. “The Infernal Revenue Service.” Er, I mean, the Internal Revenue Service. Someone has said, “You may not agree with every department in the government, ...
The famous United Methodist Bishop of California named Gerald Kennedy once sent a pastoral letter to all the churches and pastors under his care. He told the story of seeing a very poorly dressed woman and her young daughter looking into one of the beautiful department store windows in the downtown area of a large city. In it was the manger scene, but here Mary was dressed as the Queen of Heaven with rich diamonds and other jewels in her dazzling crown. The little girl gazed for a while, and then turned to ...
According to those whose job it is to know such things, it only takes three weeks to become blind to the presence of stationary objects in our everyday worlds. Hang a new picture on the wall, and one is likely to notice it for about 21 days. After that it has become part of the scenery. It simply doesn't leap into the foreground any more. That's why it can be so hard to accomplish the simplest chores of housework before the arrival of guests. We've stopped noticing the screwdriver that's been sitting on ...
A popular series of movies has been the Lethal Weapon series. You might remember that in the series Mel Gibson plays a semi-unbalanced police officer named Riggs. Riggs is a capable detective but occasionally he goes berserk and mentally flips out. He's called a lethal weapon because you never know when he's going to go off. Each of us has the potential to become a "lethal weapon." We possess within ourselves a weapon against which there is little insurance others can take out. This weapon enables us to ...
Sometime ago Sydney Harris, the syndicated columnist, wrote a "fascinating piece about Anita Bryant that I would like to read to you this morning. As you know, Anita Bryant was a self-appointed crusader against gay rights a few years ago. Then she went through a divorce, and acquired a drug habit, and was hospitalized for a long time. And today, she's not the same person she was back then. This is what Sydney Harris wrote: He said, "Now that her world has come unstuck, and she is beginning to reglue it, I ...
Have you ever noticed, have you ever really contemplated our infinite capacity to complicate things? It’s like we have a built-in aversion to the simple. We take the simplest situation and we make it a complicated affair. We build molehills into mountains. Before we examine a question, we wrap it in confusion. Really though, when you get the heart of it, the great experiences of life, even the great insights, have a way of turning out to be very simple. At the heart of it, Christmas is a very simple thing ...
Some time ago, I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across an article by Herbert Gold. Now I don’t know who Herbert Gold is, but he wrote a marvelous article about his visit to the Soviet Union and his sharing with the dissenters that Soltzeneitzen after __ defection. Gold was disturbed, as I was when I was in the Soviet Union a few months ago, about the abandonment of hope he found among the people of Russia. There was a tremendously morbid sense of despair. He closed his article by sharing a personal ...
Almost without fail, when Jerry and I go to visit my parents down in Mississippi, we will come around to talking about the Bible. Mutt, my father, has his Bible by the recliner. He spends at least 15 hours a day in that recliner, and he reads a lot. Other than watching all the game shows on TV, some of the soaps, and a lot of sports, that's about all Mutt does. He reads. Co-Bell, my mother, doesn't read much. She says her eyes are not too good, and she's right – but I hunch she just doesn't like to read, ...
There was a time when Indians communicated by drums and smoke signals. Maybe there are places where they still do this. I know the drum is still used as a communication instrument in many areas of Africa. Years ago, when the atomic bomb was being tested, out on the flats of Nevada, a cartoon pictured some Indians. They were looking across the barren wastes -- the spacious flats, when on the horizon the mushroom smoke cloud of an atomic explosion rose dramatically. As they looked at that wonder -- never ...
People often ask me what my real name is. They can't believe that Maxie could be anyone's real name. They want to think it's a nickname, or short for something like Maxwell or Maximillian. Can you imagine me being named Maxwell? That's far too predictable, far too strong. And Maximillian? That's far too grandiose for me. And folks who don't know me, when they see my name in print, often think I'm a female. I suppose they think Maxie is some sort of abbreviation for Maxine. When I was at The Upper Room, I ...
Sometime ago Sydney Harris, the syndicated columnist, wrote a "fascinating piece about Anita Bryant that I would like to read to you this morning. As you know, Anita Bryant was a self-appointed crusader against gay rights a few years ago. Then she went through a divorce, and acquired a drug habit, and was hospitalized for a long time. And today, she's not the same person she was back then. This is what Sydney Harris wrote: He said, "Now that her world has come unstuck, and she is beginning to reglue it, I ...