... ) Get out of my house! 2ND BROTHER: Please, will you give me a moment to explain? (1ST BROTHER grudgingly gestures to the empty chair at the table, then sits back down in original chair) 2ND BROTHER: (With deep emotion) Thank you. (Sighs) I hardly know where to begin. I guess it's no big secret that we've hated one another. 1ST BROTHER: Get on with it! What is it you have to say. 2ND BROTHER: I just want to say I'm sorry. I've been a selfish, self-centered fool. A few months ago our congregation started ...
... at 1st Caterpillar's cocoon) By the way, you did a pretty nifty job with that cocoon of yours. For having never made one before, I'd say you were a pro. (Looks under stool and studies the situation) Mine's a little lopsided on the bottom, but I guess I'll turn into a butterfly, all the same. 1ST CATERPILLAR: (Emphatically) Not me! No sir, no butterfly stuff for me. I'm going to be a fish. 2ND CATERPILLAR: (Giggles) You can't be a fish, silly. God designed you to be a butterfly. 1ST CATERPILLAR: (Indignantly ...
... Jenkins? GENTLEMAN: (Smiles good naturedly) That's me. 1ST WOMAN: (Totally flustered) What happened to you? I mean ... How could I know it was you? Oh, what am I saying! GENTLEMAN: (Laughing) Yes, you're still the same ole Deb. Calling it like you see it. Guess you didn't recognize me without the mounds of hair ... and the beard ... and the leather. Would you believe I am now the administrator of a large ranch for troubled boys in Wyoming? Even have some college under my belt. 1ST WOMAN: I don't believe ...
... relief. Every night I go to bed wishing I could die. MARY: Rob, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I figured you wouldn't listen. I figured it was none of my business. But I realize now, as your friend, it was my business. I guess I was selfish, too. I didn't want to look like a goodie two-shoes. I thought praying would be enough. JIM: (Rises and puts a hand on Rob's shoulder) Forgive me, buddy. I figured it was your choice to make. I never realized you would hit someone else ...
... the scriptures to us that referred to Him. COMPANION: That was great. I liked that. And then when He arrived here He acted like He was leaving. CLEOPAS: You know that was strange, His acting like He was going to travel on. COMPANION: I've been thinking about that. I guess He just wanted to make sure we wanted to hear about Jesus. CLEOPAS: I didn't know who He was, but my heart was on fire because of His teaching and I wanted to hear more. COMPANION: We should have known it was Jesus. No one has ever taught ...
... for callers. (Guide opens the door to reveal three strangers) Come in out of the cold. Here, the fire will warm you. GIRL: Thank you. BOY: Yes, thanks. GUIDE: You're welcome. What brings you to my mountain? It's a difficult climb for most people. MAN: Well, I guess we're no different than most people, but we had to come. GUIDE: Had to? MAN: We want to continue. GUIDE: Up the mountain? MAN: Yes, that's why we came. GUIDE: The mountain. Hmm. You think you want to tackle it. Why? MAN: Because we have to. GIRL ...
... 'm sorry. Marge: Sorry? Dave: Sorry, have you heard of it? Marge: Not from you. So, you're sorry. What about the damages? Dave: I'll pay the damages. I work, you know. Marge: You're saving for your education. Dave: I think I just got one. Marge: Yes, I guess you did. Dave: (hugging Marge) Well, am I forgiven? Marge: Of course you are. Now, stay out of my way. I've got work to do. Dave: Okay, Mom, I'll see ya. (beginning to exit) Marge: See ya. Hey! Wait! Where are you going? Dave: Out. Marge: Okay, don ...
... again. DOG: Woof. I always worked on the Sabbath. If I hadn't my master would have bumped into things. PHARISEE: This Jesus cannot be from God because He does not keep the Sabbath. NEIGHBOR: How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs? OTHER: I guess there is a division here. DOG: Woof. I hate division. I rather like addition and subtraction though. PHARISEE: What do you have to say? It was your eyes He opened. MAN: He is a prophet. DOG: Woof. I'll go along with that. NARRATOR: And the Pharisees still ...
... Lazarus from the dead. MARTHA: I was a little miffed at Jesus. MARY: Martha, this isn't the place for that. We should be joyful that our brother has been restored to us. MARTHA: I couldn't be more joyful. I just express it differently, that's all. MARY: I guess you do. LAZARUS: Please, Mary, don't start on that again. MARTHA: Miffed. Maybe I was more than a little miffed. Let's face it, I was angry with Jesus. Hadn't we seen Jesus heal the blind people? Hadn't He healed others from leprosy? Jesus could have ...
... : Pray for the other guy? Why don't you ask me to pray for you? STINDER: You can pray for me too, if you want. But it's the other guys who need it. They need to know Jesus and then they wouldn't attack others, would they? GUARD: I guess you're right, but ... STINDER: Do you pray, Captain? GUARD: Well, no. No, not much. STINDER: Maybe in your position it would help. I pray for you. GUARD: Yes, well ... Anyway, Stinder, I have to send you to the hole. STINDER: I know that, Sir. It's all right. I ...
... : Okay, Dad. FATHER: What in the world is the matter with you? Can't you do anything right? Just for that you're grounded for a month. (HE BEGINS TO EXIT) I don't know, when I was a kid my dad beat me when I didn't mind. I guess I'm just too easy on them. ROGER: (ENTERS WITH BOX OF CANDY) Hi, Shirley, have you got time to work on Mom's present? SHIRLEY: Get serious. I've got all the dishes to do and then my homework. ROGER: Well, gosh, you said you'd help me wrap ...
... catastrophe occurs. You never know when I'll be needed. JESUS PERSON: But, Super Christian ... SUPER CHRISTIAN: Wait! With my x-ray vision I see a car about to plunge off a cliff. I've got to go. Later! Up, up and away! (HE EXITS) JESUS PERSON: Oh, well. I guess it's up to me. ANNOUNCER: Tune in next time for another exciting adventure of Super Christian when we'll hear Super Christian say ... SUPER CHRISTIAN: Who, me, witness? Not on your life!
... ALL ENTER) WENDY: What's the lesson today, Reggie? BILL: Yeah, it's time to start. ILKA: Let's begin. This Bible study has become the high point of my week. BRUCE: Last week's lesson meant so much to me. REGGIE: My goodness, you sure are anxious. Well, I guess you all know Willie couldn't be here and he asked me to teach the lesson. BILL: How is he? Has anyone heard? REGGIE: Well, Rosie said he'd be in the hospital for some time and then he'll need lots of rest. WENDY: That's terrible. BRUCE: What ...
... LAUGHS) C'mere, Sonny. CARNEY: Don't you punch him. Let me. CHRIS: I already told you we don't want no trouble. CARNEY: (GRABBING MAYBELLE) I don't want trouble. I want her. (HE SLAPS HER AND DRAWS HIS GUN) DIABLO: (GRABBING DOC. MONDO GRABS BILLY) Now, boys, I guess we'll have things our own way. CHRIS: I'm ordering you to surrender. DIABLO: And I suppose you got us surrounded. (LAUGHS) I think you're either blind or just plain loco. Don't go for your gun or you're a dead man. MAYBELLE: Help me! (CARNEY ...
... you. FATHER: I'm telling you there isn't time! SUE: DADDY! WAIT! TALK TO ME! FATHER: Honey, what is it? You're not going to back out of this wedding, are you? SUE: No. No, I'm not. But I want to tell you something. FATHER: Sure, honey. I guess we can take the time. It's your wedding. SUE: Daddy, listen to me. I wanted to tell you this before I married Tom. FATHER: You love him, don't you? SUE: Yes, I do. And I love you, too. FATHER: Honey, it's going to be all right. You ...
... party? PETE: More like a mob. SAM: "If it's tough, we can do it!" PETE: You think you can handle a large order? SAM: That's our motto. We pride ourselves on doing difficult jobs. "If it's tough, we can do it!" That's our motto. PETE: I guess I came to the right place. SAM: You did. "If it's tough, we can do it!" That's our motto, you know. PETE: I remember. SAM: How many Burger Buddies do you want? PETE: Are you ready for this? SAM: "If it's tough ..." PETE: "... you can do it ...
... said that's the way it's supposed to work. THOMAS: Well, you just learned something. It doesn't always work out like the Master says. MATTHEW: It would be nicer if it would. THOMAS: "Nicer" is not reality, Matthew. We're dealing with sin here, not "nicer." MATTHEW: I guess so. Well, what do we do? THOMAS: You know what we do. We both go to him and we take along another brother, maybe Simon. Simon will stare him down and then he'll confess and then he'll repent and we'll forgive him and we'll all be ...
... know. JO: Instead of finding fault with everyone and what they do in the church, why don't you start praying for people? SAM: I did pray for Dean last week. He asked me to. Had a sinus infection, I think it was. JO: Well, that's a start, I guess. DON: Do you know how many sheep it takes to make a Texas sheep cake? SAM: Can we go somewhere and talk? JO: Will you listen? SAM: I have some legitimate complaints about this church, I think. JO: Okay, let's go talk. SAM: There are some things I want ...
... in my freezer. MADGE: What about Mr. Buttons? SHEILA: He wouldn't fit in the freezer. MADGE: Was he angry when you told him the party was canceled? SHEILA: Was he angry? After coming all the way across town? I paid him anyway. MADGE: Should I keep calling? SHEILA: I guess not. They make me so mad, I could ... RON: (ENTERS) Hi, honey, I'm home. Hi, Madge. Where's Claudine? SHEILA: I'm so angry. RON: What is it, Hon? What's wrong? (SHEILA RUNS INTO RON'S ARMS) MADGE: Welcome to the clean-up crew for the best ...
... : We all lost Him. We'll all miss Him, won't we? RANUTE: But I miss Him a lot. It hurt so much to say good-bye to Him. He was a good friend. I'll miss Him. I still don't understand why He had to go. LOM: I guess I don't understand it fully yet, either. The Father just told us He had to go. We must trust His judgment in this as we have done in all things. RANUTE: Of course we must trust the Father. LOM: It hurt the Father, too. Remember, He is His only ...
... so to love you that we may fully serve you, whom to serve is perfect freedom, when our life goes well, and when it doesn't, through Jesus the Christ, our Lord. ACTS OF CONFESSION Call to Confession Have you ever given your energy to guessing games, even with God? (Thirty seconds of silence.) What did you hope to gain from those games? (Thirty seconds of silence.) Consider, silently, the number of books and articles written about the Second Coming of Christ. Authors set dates, the dates pass; and the authors ...
... squad, giving Jesus a drink of cheap wine as he hung on the cross dying, confessing that he was the Son of God, and finally piercing him with my lance to ensure that he was dead. And you wonder why I'm called Saint Longinus? I understand your confusion. I guess I'm best described as your famous Dr. Luther would have put it: simil iustus et peccator, saint and sinner at the same time. Rather like you, I suspect. I hope you won't hold it against me, that I was there doing what I did. It was just part ...
... , or loaf of bread, or skin of wine, and you have need of it, consider it a gift from God to you. Now why is it you dropped by? Oh, yes! You want me to tell you about the time I let that stranger from Galilee use my donkey. I guess that's when I first got the idea that everything I owned was really the Lord's. It was a morning in early spring, the week of Passover. Those were troubled times. There was so much anger. The Sadducees were angry. The Romans were angry. The Pharisees were angry. I ...
... told her I wasn't a religious person by any stretch of the imagination. I told her nothing I could do would count in heaven. But she insisted just the same." "What will you say?" inquired Sylvia. "Oh -- I don't know. I'll go over to her shack, I guess, sprinkle some water on the babies and say, 'Hello babies. Welcome to the earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that ...
... world perceive us? Probably as a nice, friendly, harmless, middle-class, patriotic, conservative, proper club. We maintain the status-quo. We are just like all the other fraternal or civic organizations. The world would never dream of applying the word "radical" to us. My guess is we suck our breath lest anybody think we could possibly believe that about ourselves. Most of us don't even like the word "liberal." We think of this room as a comfortable place for the right kind of folks. And isn't the purpose ...