I heard a story once. A Mr. Jones picked up the wrong umbrella in a hotel, and the umbrella's rightful owner called his attention to it. Embarrassed, Mr. Jones offered his apologies, picked up the right one, and went on his way. But the incident served to remind Mr. Jones that he had promised to buy umbrellas for his wife and daughter, so he went across the street to a store and purchased one for each of them. As he came out from the store and began to get in his car - THREE umbrellas on his arm now - the ...
"A friend in need is a friend indeed." Familiar old aphorism. Do you believe it? Do you UNDERSTAND IT? For a long time, I did not - it is not the clearest. I wondered why in the world someone who is in need should be considered a genuine friend. Instead I rather agreed with whichever wag adjusted the saying to "A friend in need is a PEST!" Finally I realized that the original version meant that a friend to YOU when YOU are in need is a friend indeed. AHA! THAT I believe. Of course, the gospel expects ...
Chuck Shepherd collects weird news from all over the world. You may have seen his columns in newspapers and magazines. Many of the strange occurrences in his collection have to do with crime. For example, here are a couple of his best ones: In Portsmouth, Rhode Island, police charged Gregory Rosa, twenty-five, with a string of vending machine robberies. It seems he inexplicably fled from police when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine. Police were pretty sure they had their man when Rosa ...
Have you ever heard someone describe something they are pleased with like this: "It's the greatest thing since sliced bread." That phrase is meaningless to most of us. Here's the rest of the story. The first electric toaster appeared in 1909. It toasted one side at a time and required constant vigilance: when the toast was done, you pulled the plug. The first automatic electric toaster was designed in 1919 by Charles Strite, a man sick and tired of burned toast. Americans were skeptical at first about ...
Have you ever thought about the meaning of time? Philosophers refer to chronological time. That is time as measured by the ticking of a clock. It is calendar time. It is time as measured by the earth rotating on its axis, time as measured by the earth's journey around the sun. But what if the earth were destroyed. What if the sun was no more. Would time cease to exist? Philosophers also talk about subjective time. To a child waiting for Christmas, time moves so slowly. To his parents, Christmas may come ...
I like the story of the young man, eager to make it to the top, who went to a well-known millionaire businessman and asked him the first reason for his success. The businessman answered without hesitation, "Hard work." After a lengthy pause the young man asked, "What is the SECOND reason?" We want to deal this morning with the lure of the easy way. Jesus and His disciples were at Caesarea Philippi. Their ministry to this point had been a stunning success. Crowds pressed in on them everywhere they went. ...
In 1977 Patrick Bissel was a fastrising star with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre. Critic Clive Barnes had nothing but praise for Bissell. In his column Barnes hailed "the emergence of a major new star." Bissel, however, never fulfilled that prophecy. He died earlier this year from an overdose of cocaine. Bissel's story made the headlines because all who knew him recognized the tragedy of such vast potential wasted. At age 20 Patrick Bissell had been drafted from the ranks to perform roles normally ...
Have you ever noticed that there is a very fine line between pain and laughter? Sometimes we laugh at a joke because we can breathe a sigh of relief that it happened to someone else and not to us. I read recently about a born loser. I doubt that the story is true. Strange things do happen in life, however. A young man knocked on the door of an expensive home seeking odd jobs to earn money. The owner suggested he should paint the porch using the green paint in the garage. A few hours later, the young man, ...
In the days of the great California gold rush some prospectors discovered a very rich mine. "We've got it made," they said, "As long as we don't tell anybody else before we stake our claims." And they made a vow of secrecy. But they had to go into town for provisions and tools. When they left the town, a great host of people followed them. Why? Their "secret" was written all over their faces. It was impossible for them to hide what they had found. A gifted speaker was asked what was his most difficult ...
A man stopped by a computer store where he'd recently purchased a personal computer. "I have a question about a computer I bought here the other day," he said to a salesman who greeted him enthusiastically. "What kind did you buy?" the salesman asked. "A Crimean Extravaganza 1900," said the customer. "Wow! That's a nice computer," exclaimed the salesman. "It has a 100 megahertz pentium processor, 16 megabytes of ram, a 256 kilobyte pipeline burst cache. It has PCI 64-bit video and a 1.2 gigabyte hard drive ...
Some people have weird eating habits. But none weirder than Michel Lotito. Lotito ate everything. I mean EVERYTHING. In Amarillo, Texas, he ate a queen-sized bed. In Quebec he ate a whole bicycle. "The chain," he was quoted as saying, "was the tastiest part." In Marseilles he ate a car. A small car, true--a Renault, I think--but still a car. As James Dent once noted in his humorous book, James Dent Strikes Again, Lotito was not an overgrown termite. He was a human-type person born 1950 in Grenoble, France ...
The coaching staff at Central High School in Clermont, Florida, was having a little problem. The football players were stealing the jerseys used in football practice. The coaches thought they could solve the problem by printing on the jerseys the words, "Stolen from Central High School." Do I need to say to you that this did not lessen the popularity of the jerseys? The thefts continued. But then the coach had a brainstorm. He ordered new practice jerseys printed with the words, "Central High School 4th ...
Presbyterian preacher Thomas Hilton tells of watching Billy Graham on television a few years back, when his small daughter Karin came into the living room and looked at the television set and exclaimed, “Dad, what is he so mad about?” To a small child the body language of a person is often more important than the verbal language. She saw the raised arm, heard the loud voice, saw the intense face, and assumed anger. I have an idea that was not the message that Billy was trying to get across, but children ...
I have always felt sorry for Lazarus. I mean, dying once is bad enough; but this poor fellow had to go through the whole ordeal a second time! And for what? At first glance, it seems as though he was recalled to this earth for the mere purpose of fortifying his sister’s faith. Then he would have to go through the process of dying once again. We are all familiar with the story. Jesus receives the news while He is in Perea that His friend Lazarus is ill. He says, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I ...
Do you remember the opening soliloquy which begins the musical “Fiddler on the Roof?” Tevye, the dairyman who is always carrying on lengthy conversations with God, says to the audience: “A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, why do we stay up here if it’s so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home. And ...
In one of his books, A Scent of Love, Keith Miller tells the true story of a mother who took her children to the Animal Farm - a place where they could pet the animals that roamed free and even ride an elephant. Not finding a conventional parking space, the mother parked their little red Volkswagen “beetle” on a little paved apron on the path that led to the ranger station. Then they went out and had a great time. Realizing later, however, that the day had gotten away from them and they were supposed to ...
There is an old saying to the effect that a good rabbi always answers a question with another question. One rabbi was asked by a member of his congregation, “Why do you always answer a question with another question?” The rabbi replied, “Do I?” Jesus was called “Rabbi” by His followers. The word means, literally, “teacher.” In modern Judaism the rabbinate is an ordained office. In ancient times, however, “rabbi” was simply a title of respect, addressed to laymen learned in the Mosaic law. Although Jesus’ ...
Have you ever noticed that the great documents like this perfect pattern prayer, the Apostles'' Creed, the Nicene Creed, doctrinal statements of various church traditions, all affirm our need for forgiveness and God providing the means and methods by which we are forgiven? As we continue in our series on The Lord''s Prayer, I want to share with you why I believe this is the hardest petition for any of us to fulfill. To put it simply, it is difficult. To demonstrate how difficult it is to forgive, as soon ...
Today I want to begin by sharing a story that I once told at the annual Thanksgiving meal that we lovingly shared with the homeless persons in the greater Easton area with the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ at the Salvation Army headquarters. Perhaps one or two of you who were there will remember it. There was a very wealthy Texas oilman who had a gorgeous daughter, and he wanted to find her a man who was brave and courageous like himself. He decided to throw a huge Texas-style barbecue as a ...
It is a difficult thing not to be chosen. I can still remember what a relief it was to be appointed by the teacher as one of the two captains who would choose team members when our class would be divided for softball. It meant that I would be, in effect, the first one to be chosen. What agony it was, however, when others were doing the choosing. As an uncoordinated youngster, with very little to offer toward the team's success, I was likely to be chosen last, and the humiliation was keenly felt. Perhaps ...
If you were to visit the Library of Congress and look up Jesus of Nazareth in the card catalog of authors, you will not find a single entry. Thousands of books have been written about Jesus, but he himself wrote no books, not even a pamphlet or tract. He was able to write, we know. When a woman accused of adultery was brought to him, Jesus "bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger" (John 8:5). Giovanni Papini suggested that he chose the sand on which to write "expressly that the wind ...
A couple came to their local police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and explained that it contained two bullets an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the bullets in the bottom drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the bullets safely. But when he took one out of the box the top ...
Our Scripture lesson today is from the 2nd chapter of I Peter. “So put away all malice and all guile and insincerity and envy and all slander. Like new born babes, long for the pure Spiritual milk that by it you may grow up to salvation, for you have tasted the kindness of the Lord. Come to him to that living stone rejected by men but in God’s sight chosen and precious. And like living stones, be yourself built into a spiritual house. Be a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God ...
Now will you hear the scripture lesson of the morning, from the 2nd chapter of Luke’s gospel, beginning with the 22nd verse and reading through the 35th verses? “And when the time came for their purification, according to the Law of Moses, they brought Jesus up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. As it is written in the law of the Lord, every male that opens the womb shall be called Holy to the Lord, and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the law of the Lord. A pair of turtle doves, or ...
As I grow older, and hopefully wiser, I’m more convinced that despite the limitations of my early life, the soil in which my roots originally grew was rich and fertile. The richness of love in our home was more powerful than material poverty. The warm concern, the gentle care, the self-sacrificing for their five children gave us a heritage dollars can’t buy. Though glaringly limited, the faith we shared in the little country church had an expansive simplicity to which I return often. On a visit to that ...