Hubert Humphrey loved meeting people. That made him a much-loved politician. On a fishing trip in northern Minnesota, Hubert and federal judge Miles Lord were in a sporting-goods store. Lord noticed that a tour bus from California had broken down outside. Lord sneaked out to the bus and introduced himself as the mayor. "Folks, I'm sorry to see you're having trouble," he said. "If there's anything we can do for you, just stop by my office. And by the way, there's something you can do for us. We have a ...
Sometimes it's called sweet revenge. This report is from London. Janine Brooks was a dental student when a man ran into her car and drove away. That was ten years ago. Her damaged car resulted in a considerable financial burden on her student income but the motorist neither apologized nor ever paid for the damage he had done. Now it is 10 years later. Janine Brooks, the former student, is a dentist, and guess who comes to her office needing a tooth to be pulled. He did not recognize her; she did recognize ...
M. Scott Peck is a bestselling author, a respected psychiatrist and a growing Christian. He says that the scene of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples stands out as one of the most significant events of Jesus' life: "Until that moment the whole point of things had been for someone to get on top, and once he had gotten on top to stay on top or else attempt to get farther up. But here this man already on top--who was rabbi, teacher, master--suddenly got down on the bottom and began to wash the feet of ...
It was Anita Cheek Milner's fiftieth birthday. Her older daughter gave her a pin that said: 50 is NIFTY. Anita wore it to work that day, and what fun it was! All day, people kept saying things to her like, "Anita, you don't look fifty " or "Why, Anita, you can't be fifty" and "We know you can't be fifty." It was wonderful, she reports. "Now, I knew they were lying," she confesses, "and they knew I knew, but isn't that what friends and coworkers are for? To lie to you when you need it, in times of emergency ...
You may have read about a man in California who has to be the worst bank robber in history. He went into a Bank of America in San Francisco and wrote out a stick up note on the back of a deposit slip. He got in line to present his note to the teller, but while he was in line he started thinking that maybe somebody saw him writing the stick up note. Maybe they were calling the police right now. So he decided to get out of line and go across the street to the Wells-Fargo bank. He had to wait in line there, ...
Humorist Robert Orben says that when he was in grade school, he was told if he wanted to get a good job he had to graduate from high school. So he went to high school. When he was in high school, he was told that to get a good job he had to go to college. So he went to college. When he was just about to graduate, he was told everybody had a bachelor's degree, and to get a really good job, he had to get a master's degree. So he got his master's. Then he was told that a master's degree would take him only so ...
There was an article in the newspapers sometime back about a British husband who walked out on a 38-year marriage because he could not stand his wife obsessively moving the furniture. John Turner filed for divorce, complaining he was sick and tired of his wife Pauline shifting chairs, tables, the television--and anything not fixed to the walls--every single day of their married life. "Moving furniture about was just something I did and I always will do," Pauline says. "I suppose everybody has their little ...
Object: Your ordination papers Good morning, boys and girls. I brought a very special paper with me. This is the document that I received when I was ordained as a minister. It says on it . . . (Read the appropriate part.) This paper means that it is official. I am a minister. I enjoy being a minister. I believe this is where God wants me to be--serving as your minister. The other day, however, I ran across the original meaning of the word "minister." It originally meant, "a lowly person." How would you ...
It's one of those stories you see circulating on the Internet. The author is unknown, but the sentiments are universal. It's titled THE CITY OF REGRET: "I had not really planned to take a trip this year, yet I found myself packing anyway. And off I went, dreading it. I was on another guilt trip. I booked my reservation on "Wish I Had" airlines. I didn't check my bags--everyone carries their baggage on this airline. I had to drag [my bags] for what seemed like miles in the Regret City airport. And I could ...
The December 11, 2002, online issue of Forbes magazine carried the story of a family feud in one of the richest families in America. The Pritzker family of Chicago owns the Hyatt hotel chain. They also own many other businesses, including cruise lines, railroads, and banks. In 2002, 18-year-old Liesel Pritzker sued her father and other family members, claiming that they drained her trust fund of more than $1 billion. Because of their mismanagement, Liesel claims, her inheritance has been greatly reduced. ...
A huge sofa filled the sidewalk in front of a home. Evidently the sofa had been taken out to the curb by the owner for trash collection. Since the sofa was in pretty good shape, a lot of people driving by slowed down for a closer look. But when they saw how big it was, they'd pass on by without stopping. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. They removed all the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out of the sofa, ...
"Five Things Christians Should Never Say," #3 Welcome on this Super Bowl Sunday. Football is a wonderful sport, but football fans can be cruel. Last season when the Dallas Cowboys were having difficulty beating anyone, there was a story going around that one of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined ...
A new doctor--a young woman--came to a small town. Only one member of the community wasn't impressed with her. Old Jim Jones was the town grouch, and he was determined to show everyone that the new doctor wasn't all that great. So, he made an appointment with her. "Doctor," he said, "I have lost my sense of taste." The female doctor said, "What you need is my special concoction, #3." She brought out this concoction and gave a dose to Jim Jones to taste. After tasting it he immediately spit it out, "That's ...
Passion/Palm Sunday Everybody loves a parade or a celebration. Everyone loves to be part of something big and exciting. Early in Frank Sinatra's career, George Evans, his publicist, used some slick tricks to get Sinatra extra publicity. Evans hired teenage girls to hang around outside the club where Sinatra was singing. They were paid to scream out his name and "swoon." He even arranged for an ambulance to park outside the club. The faked hysterics worked; crowds packed the club to hear this fabulous new ...
Since it is so close to Christmas, could you forgive a really bad joke? Snow White took photos of the Seven Dwarfs and their surroundings. She took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said, "Don't worry, Snow White. Someday your prints will come." We've already noted that the people of Israel were awaiting their ...
A few years ago, Rabbi Wayne Dosick was at the airport when he witnessed an unusual scene. A police officer approached a mother and her small daughter. Someone had filed a missing-persons report on a little girl of the same age and appearance as the little girl in the airport. The officer was asking the mother to prove that the child was actually hers. First, the officer tried questioning the toddler, a technique that proved to be futile. He asked the name of her father. She replied, "Daddy." He asked ...
A pastor was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him. The youngster didn't say a word, so the preacher kept on working, thinking the boy would leave. But he didn't. Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the pastor finally said, "Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on gardening?" "No," he replied. "I'm just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer." (1) That's a tricky ...
When Jenny was four, she asked her mother, “Does heaven have a floor?” Surprised, her mother said, “Well, Jenny, what do you think heaven is like?” Jenny looked up at the sky and clouds and replied, “Well, I can’t see any floor, so I guess people are just up there on coat hangers!" One mother told her nine-year-old, Heather, that in heaven we will have glorified bodies. Heather asked, “Do you think we’ll look like Barbie?” One Sunday school classroom had several glass prisms hanging from the ceiling. As ...
If you knew you were going to die tonight, would that cause you to change your use of time today? Most of us would have to say, "Yes, it would." John Krahn had a friend, named Art, whose doctor diagnosed him as having a terminal illness that would claim his life within a year. After a month, the doctor discovered he was mistaken and told Art that his condition was not terminal after all. As Art reflected on the month he had spent under this mistaken death sentence, he acknowledged the negative, painful ...
SUBJECT: Memorial Day CHARACTERS: Mother, Daughter (13-15 years of age) SETTING: Sitting in the church pew PROPS: A couple of church bulletins Daughter: "Mom, have you read your bulletin yet?" Mother: "Yes." Daughter: "What are all these names for?" Mother: "Those are the names of people from this church who''ve served in the armed forces. They''re being recognized for Memorial Day." Daughter: "I don''t think I know any of them." Mother: "You''re related to one of them." Daughter: "Really? Who ...
Not being a great sports fan myself, I have to rely upon others to help me with the sports imagery in writing about the topic above. In this case, I want to call upon evangelist Tom Skinner to flesh out the metaphor which gives us the title for this chapter and which helps us to understand the mission and purpose of the Church. He writes, In football we have what is called the huddle. We have only 25 seconds in the huddle. If you stay longer than 25 seconds, you are penalized five yards for delay of game ...
Plato tells the story of a shepherd named Gyges, who was in the service of the king. One day there was a great storm and an earthquake where he was pasturing his flock. A great chasm opened in the earth and Gyges descended into the chasm. There he saw many astonishing things, including what looked like a human corpse. Although there were many amazing treasures in the chasm, he took nothing except a gold ring the corpse had on his finger. He then made his way out. He attended the usual meeting of shepherds ...
Today I want to begin by sharing a story that I once told at the annual Thanksgiving meal that we lovingly shared with the homeless persons in the greater Easton area with the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ at the Salvation Army headquarters. Perhaps one or two of you who were there will remember it. There was a very wealthy Texas oilman who had a gorgeous daughter, and he wanted to find her a man who was brave and courageous like himself. He decided to throw a huge Texas-style barbecue as a ...
We have learned how the Lord''s Prayer truly encompasses and speaks to the totality of the human experience. We have discovered that no believer can ever really exhaust the meaning of this prayer, but only experience anew its purpose and power. It truly leads us into the "Presence of the Almighty." This prayer has a three-fold purpose for the pilgrim in that it helps us to center our lives, provides a corrective for our Christian walk, and provides comfort for the long haul of life''s sacred journey. ...
Dr. Carlyle Marney was one of the great preachers in the South during the time after the Second World War. He was a mentor and role model to many pastors. One of the stories attributed to the rich legacy he left behind took place on a seminary campus where he was invited to be the speaker for a distinguished lectureship. One of the students asked, "Dr. Marney let us hear you say a word or two about the meaning of the resurrection." It was a fair question and an appropriate one from a future preacher to one ...