Hauled before a Melbourne court in 1907 for hugging and kissing spinster Hazel Moore when she entered his shop, young Michael O'Connor defended himself by claiming it had been a lovely spring day and he was in high spirits. O'Connor had to serve a few months for breach of peace. So imagine his amazement ten years later when an attorney representing Miss Moore's estate gave him her bequest of 20,000 pounds! She left ...
4377. Six Stages of Job Hunting
Humor Illustration
... I'll just stop bathing too. Stage three: Geez, I'm not qualified for any of these jobs, but the house sure is clean. Stage four: Maybe I'll try a whole new career. I wonder who's on "Oprah" today? I've got to put something on my unemployment claim this week. Stage five: The capitalist running dogs want me to fight for their filthy money? I'm going to weave hats out of palm fronds and sell them on the beach. I won't participate in this sublimation of true human needs. Stage six: "You'll pay how much ...
4378. I Saw the Face of God
Matthew 25:31-46
Illustration
Johnny Dean
... young ones. 'One for you, and one for you, and one for you!' Then, for her own meal, she licked the inside of that banana peel." Jackson concludes the story, "And I will always believe that I saw the face of God that day." In a world where "religious" people, claiming to speak for God, often appear to know so much, to have such clear and firm ideas about exactly what's right and exactly what's wrong, who's going to Heaven and who's going to Hell, isn't it refreshing to hear of those whose sole motivation ...
... for the return of the Son of Man is near, even “at the very gates.” However much “this generation” may witness the destructive power of wars and earthly injustice, Jesus reassures them that they have also been witness to that which is eternal. Jesus claims divine authority by insisting that while all creation, all the heavens and the earth, may “pass away,” his words will “not pass away.” In Isaiah 40:6-8 and 51:6 the eternal endurance of God’s word is contrasted with the transitory nature ...
... for the return of the Son of Man is near, even “at the very gates.” However much “this generation” may witness the destructive power of wars and earthly injustice, Jesus reassures them that they have also been witness to that which is eternal. Jesus claims divine authority by insisting that while all creation, all the heavens and the earth, may “pass away,” his words will “not pass away.” In Isaiah 40:6-8 and 51:6 the eternal endurance of God’s word is contrasted with the transitory nature ...
... of salvation. Mark applied this “gospel” to the life and ministry of “Jesus Christ, the Son of God.” Although Mark is written primarily for a Gentile audience, his opening statements cite Old Testament Scripture and recall Old Testament prophets. Although Mark claims to be quoting the work of “the prophet Isaiah,” his declaration is a composite, taken from Exodus 23:20, Malachi 3:1, and Isaiah 40:3. Mark subtly adapts these texts, presenting the voice that cries out in the wilderness rather ...
... have done sound as important as possible. Not so John the Baptist. In this week’s gospel text the writer of the fourth gospel, more so even than the Synoptic authors, refuses to “pad” The Baptizer’s “resume” with any additional titles or claims. In John’s gospel the role of The Baptizer is both clearly and narrowly defined. Articulating this role is so important to the gospel writer that he interrupts the elegant lofty language of his prologue, “In the beginning was the Word,” to interject ...
... precisely. Then, true to their original intentions, their first response is to kneel before the child and pay him “homage.” The location of this miraculously predicted child is simply a “house.” This “homage” is genuine, unlike Herod’s deceitful claim (v.8). It is followed by the offering of extravagant, genuinely “kingly” gifts. The popular image of three magi is derived from the three gifts that are offered, although Matthew never mentions a number for these traveling astrologers. Their ...
... reveals he already knows all about him: “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is not deceit!” (v.47). So stunned is Nathanael that he fails to greet Jesus with any polite salutation or acknowledgment of the exalted position Philip has claimed for him. Instead he simply blurts out an incredulous, “Where did you get to know me?” (v.48). Jesus’ assertion that Nathanael is “without deceit” or “without guile” would perhaps bring to the mind of Jewish readers the exchange between Jacob and ...
... at me, your pastor, do they see Christ “bruised, derided, cursed, defiled,” or do they see the head manager of a bureaucratic system? Will you join me in releasing the “better angels of our nature.” COMMENTARY How superstitious are you? Even if you claim to be beyond the pull and pale of alluring sirens and ominous omens, it is hard to escape their influence altogether. Be honest: everybody takes note, whether or not they take seriously, Friday the 13th. Be honest: we notice black cats when they ...
How superstitious are you? Even if you claim to be beyond the pull and pale of alluring sirens and ominous omens, it is hard to escape their influence altogether. Be honest: everybody takes note, whether or not they take seriously, Friday the 13th. Be honest: we notice black cats when they saunter in front of us — not so ...
... who is greatly influencing thought about humanity’s future, particular as it relates to the rapid increases in the power of computers. He was featured recently on the cover of Time magazine with an article titled, “2045: The Year Man Becomes Immortal.” Ray Kurzweil claims no religious affiliation; no belief in God. And yet Kurzweil hungers for immortality. One of the motivations for his life’s work is the dream of resurrecting his dead father. This is no joke. This is his dream. He hopes not only to ...
... strength to whisper earth’s sweetest name Jesus, Jesus . . . Emperors have tried to destroy it; philosophers have tried to stamp it out. Tyrants have tried to wash it from the face of the earth with the very blood of those who claim it. Yet still it stands . . . Jesus . . .” (2) Friends, that’s authority. The distinguished British intellectual Malcolm Muggeridge put it like this: “I may,” he once said, “I suppose . . . pass for being a relatively successful man. People occasionally stare at me ...
... . In prayer. These three practices became hallmarks of devotion over the next few centuries. Pagan religions had almost always required an audience. Sacrifices. Offerings. Festivals. Pilgrimages. Humans coming together to acknowledge the greatness of the deity. Christianity claimed a different turf early on. Following Jesus’ own example of “coming a-part” in order to avoid “coming apart,” by the third century followers of Christ were seeking solitude as a way to better find Christ. Likewise ...
... wrong idea too because the light was focused not on a place but upon a person. The mountaintop did not need to be remembered. Jesus, the Christ, needed to be illumined before all others. There are lots of flawed or even fake “diamonds” out there, claiming they are reflections of Christ’s person and message. How can we tell a genuine reflection of Christ from a “fake diamond?” We are used to seeing a rainbow as a positive sign, a promise, a perseverance. But the message of the church is filtered ...
... year. No wonder we are such a colorful bunch! Yet eggs sometimes get a bad rap at Easter. Eggs are such a widely used symbolic food. Everyone from dancing druids and pagan fertility gods to — worst of all — bored kids on Halloween, have all claimed eggs as some sort of special specimen for themselves. The Christian use of eggs at Easter probably has roots in a host of different cultures and traditions. But there are two connections that make the “Easter egg” a powerful symbol for this miraculous ...
... ’s prompt reporting of her experience of the risen Jesus at the tomb, those she tells do not seem to grasp the meaning of an empty tomb. Instead of running to see the tomb themselves or even going out to search for this risen Jesus Mary claims to have seen and spoken with, in John’s text the disciples keep that news quiet and themselves locked down throughout the day. It is not until ”evening,” that is, after sunset (i.e. officially after Easter Sunday had concluded), that the disciples’ world is ...
4393. The Pastoral Search Report
John 10:11-18
Illustration
James Kegel
... wouldn't hold all his wives and children. Has grandiose tastes. ELIJAH: Prone to depression; collapses under pressure. HOSEA: A tender, loving pastor but his wife is a floosy or worse. DEBORAH: Pushy female. JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things. ISAIAH: Claims to have seen angels. Has trouble with his language. JONAH: Refused God's call until he was forced to obey when he was swallowed by a fish. He said the fish spit him out on the shore. We hung up. AMOS: Backward ...
... connection was far from clear in the first century. In first century Judaism there was no single understanding of who this suffering servant was or what he represented. But for Philip the meaning of this text is obvious. Jesus had claimed the identity of the suffering servant for himself and had personally fulfilled Isaiah’s words through his sacrificial and atoning death. The eunuch’s question “About whom . . . does the prophet say this . . .?” perfectly open the door for Philip to declare ...
... connection was far from clear in the first century. In first century Judaism there was no single understanding of who this suffering servant was or what he represented. But for Philip the meaning of this text is obvious. Jesus had claimed the identity of the suffering servant for himself and had personally fulfilled Isaiah’s words through his sacrificial and atoning death. The eunuch’s question “About whom . . . does the prophet say this . . .?” perfectly open the door for Philip to declare ...
... that, “If I’d been there I’d have ‘gotten it!’” Really? You think? The Man — the charismatic Jesus, the greatest communicator and most creative person the world has ever seen. The Message — the master teacher of Torah with revolutionary claims and astonishing insights. The Miracles — the signs and wonders that made divine powers a seaside, roadside, bedside experience. It is easy to wonder. After all, the disciples lived with Jesus. They were as close to him as anyone could get. They ...
... an uninformed, infantile expression of connection. To address the Divine God as “Abba, Father” requires the connection that only the living presence of the Spirit can make real. That Spirit, Paul continues, is what makes it possible for all believers to claim they are “children of God” (v.16). Adoption, in Roman and Greek law, was a carefully adjudicated concept. The one who was “adopted” received all the rights and privileges of any natural born offspring. But the “spirit of God” which is ...
... replied: “I’ll always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined for 70 points.” Well, I guess that is one way to look at it. Michael Jordan was a great basketball player. And yet John Eliot, in his book titled Overachievement, claims that Michael Jordan was not really a very gifted basketball player. For example, Jordan ranked ninth in the NBA for field goals made and eighteenth in total points. He never ranked first in any major NBA statistic. Even in his prime, Jordan was not the ...
... to criticism is a lifetime journey. That’s because critics will be accompanying you from cradle to grave! In every election year there is no shortage of negative, critical remarks flying around the airwaves. Of course all politicians virtuously claim they hate “negative” ads. And, of course, every candidate uses them. The justification for both sides is “Negative ads work.” Surveys allegedly show that those nasty, negative, often highly personal attacks are the most effective way of swaying public ...
4400. When You Are Wrongly Criticized
Mark 3:21
Illustration
Leonard Sweet
... respond to criticism is a lifetime journey. That's because critics will be accompanying you from cradle to grave! In every election year there is no shortage of negative, critical remarks flying around the airwaves. Of course all politicians virtuously claim they hate "negative" ads. And, of course, every candidate uses them. The justification for both sides is "Negative ads work." Surveys allegedly show that those nasty, negative, often highly personal attacks are the most effective way of swaying public ...