At the beginning of a New Year, a high school principal decided to post his teachers' New Year's resolutions on the bulletin board. As the teachers gathered around the bulletin board, a great commotion started. One of the teachers was complaining. "Why weren't my resolutions posted?" She was throwing such a temper tantrum that the principal hurried to his office to see if he had overlooked her resolutions. Sure enough, he had mislaid them on his desk. As he read her resolutions he was astounded. This ...
There is nothing harder than to be consistently thankful. All of us have a hard time maintaining an attitude of gratitude, that mind set, that demeanor, that disposition of thanksgiving. And yet, there is no greater resource for living than a thankful heart. Maybe the reason we have such a tough time with being thankful is because we put so little emphasis on it. We don't hear much about Thanksgiving. It's just a day of feasting, football and falling asleep. It's the start of the Christmas rush. I suppose ...
Jeff Hill is with IBM. But like many people nowadays he works from home. Working from home, he says he needs a professional sounding voicemail greeting so everyone will know he's hard at work. While he was recording a new message one morning, Jeff's wife was across the hall from his office, folding clothes with their six-year-old daughter, who had just emerged from the shower. Jeff's professional message ended up sounding like this: Male voice: "Hi, this is Jeff Hill with IBM." Female voice: "Look at you! ...
Sometimes you just can't win. A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. "Yes?" he said. "Excuse me, sir," the jogger ...
A young pastor was telling his congregation how bad women are. He stated that a lot of the trouble in the world was due to women. He went on and on about women and the problems they cause. After the message the pastor was greeting the people as they left church. An older husky woman came up to the pastor and, as she was shaking his hand, she squeezed it quite unmercifully. He cried out, "That hurts." She asked him, "What was the telephone number of the Garden of Eden?" He said, "I don't know." She ...
You can learn things being around children. Here are some truths one father learned: There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long ways. Glass windows (even double pane) don't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak. It explodes. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house almost 4 inches ...
There was an article in the newspapers sometime back about a British husband who walked out on a 38-year marriage because he could not stand his wife obsessively moving the furniture. John Turner filed for divorce, complaining he was sick and tired of his wife Pauline shifting chairs, tables, the television--and anything not fixed to the walls--every single day of their married life. "Moving furniture about was just something I did and I always will do," Pauline says. "I suppose everybody has their little ...
"I am thankful," says an unknown author, "for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive . . ." Then he adds, "And for the person behind me in church who sings off-key because it means that I can hear." (1) There is somebody who knows how to be thankful. This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day. It is a day when we will celebrate our bounty as a nation, and we will express our thanks to the One who is the source of all that we have. Maybe we will even give some thought to ...
Have you ever noticed how quickly people's lives can be turned upside down? Up until December 4, 2002, Robert Mancillas of San Antonio, Texas thought he was doing all right. When Robert arrived at work that morning, however, his boss fired him. After receiving this news, Robert decided to walk over to his mother's office and tell her what had happened, but he never made it. A five-story historical building under renovation collapsed on him. When rescuers arrived, all they could see were his feet. He was ...
A Drama for Good Friday [This Good Friday drama can be approached in two ways: Ideally you have talented people in your church who will memorize their parts and perform in costume. This would be powerful and memorable. Otherwise, it could be presented as Readers' Theater, with a narrator and actors simply reading their lines. Suggested hymns to play softly in the background during readings and monologues: 1. When I Survey the Wondrous Cross (Simon Peter) 2. Just As I Am, Without One Plea (Samaritan woman) ...
A Swiss man, Jean Francois Vernetti, is listed in Guinness World Records 2004. What did Mr. Vernetti do that was so extraordinary? He made the Guiness book because of his enormous collection of "Do Not Disturb" signs. In his travels to 131 countries, Vernetti has amassed a collection of 2,915 "Do Not Disturb" signs in a variety of languages. He dreams of collecting such signs from all 191 countries of the world. (1) Who would have thought that this would be a universal sign? "Do Not Disturb." On second ...
Back in 1994, 128 runners lined up to compete in the NCAA cross-country championships in Riverside, California. Unfortunately, one of the turns on the 10,000-meter course was not well marked; only five of the 128 runners stayed on the correct path. Mike Delcavo was the first runner to notice the problem. He began waving at the other runners to follow him, but most refused. Can you blame them? One-hundred-and-twenty-three runners took the wrong path, only five took the right one. What did the 123 think of ...
Blind Bartimaeus sat begging by the roadside. There were no welfare programs for him to count on, and no food stamps to supplement his income. He was totally at the mercy of passers by for sustenance. That's a tragic situation for anyone, to be begging at the side of the road, hoping someone will notice and offer to help. Have you ever been in such a situation? Some of you have been there, particularly if you've ever been young and unsure of yourself. I can imagine a young woman alone at the edge of a ...
A number of years ago many church youth groups across the country became enchanted with the idea of kissing frogs. Now, parents, don't be alarmed. This wasn't anything like rock star Ozzie Osborne's stunt of biting heads off of bats. In fact, kissing frogs was one of the healthiest ideas to come along in a long time. The idea, of course, was based on the ancient fairy tale of a handsome prince who had been turned into an ugly frog by a mean witch. The only way he could be turned back into himself was if a ...
Do you remember Kipling's classic story titled "Letting the Jungle In"? It is the story of a group of people who went into the jungle, made a clearing, brought their livestock, planted their crops, and built their homes. For awhile it was a veritable paradise, until the rain years came and the jungle crept back. Wild animals killed their stock. The prolific vegetation of the jungle moved in faster than they could cope with it. The jungle took back their paradise. Of course, Kipling wasn't writing about the ...
A little boy was in church one Sunday morning with his grandmother. Everything went well until it was time for the offering. The grandmother began to frantically search through her purse, but she couldn’t find her offering envelope. Apparently she had left it at home. It was a most embarrassing moment for her as she kept looking through her purse for something to put in the collection plate. Her grandson sensed her dilemma. The little boy had a solution to her problem. “Here, Gramma,” he told her, “you ...
This is the season we celebrate Christmas. The shopping has begun. The countdown of days left to make purchases is underway. Jewelry commercials are dominating the airways. People are passing by the Salvation Army bell ringers as they go in and out of the mall looking for just the right gift. It’s Christmas! This is the time of year when we decorate with lights, greenery, and all the symbols of the season. We sing carols. We greet the people we pass with tidings of good cheer, “Merry Christmas!” We rejoice ...
No matter what you do, there will always be somebody who won’t like it. Even Jesus had His critics. In our Scripture lesson we read that Jesus had just performed a miraculous cure on a man who had been ill for 38 years. You would think that such an event would be the occasion for universal rejoicing! But some took it as an occasion to criticize. The man was walking through the streets of Jerusalem carrying his bed, when the hyper-orthodox religious leaders stopped him and reminded him that he was breaking ...
The Feeding of the Five Thousand may well be the most difficult miracle in the Gospels with which we have to deal. And yet it is the one miracle that is most firmly anchored in the Gospels. Of all the miracles which Jesus performed, only this one appears in all four of the Gospels! There must be some strong tradition behind it. The least one can say is that Jesus was the kind of Man about whom His friends could hardly talk except in terms of miracles. Presbyterian Kenneth Foreman, commenting on this ...
Will Rogers once said that “a lot of what everybody knows ain’t so!” Nowhere is that more true than in the realm of Biblical scholarship. From my research in the gospel of John and many visits to the holy land I have discovered that a lot of what biblical scholars and commentators appear to know for sure seems doubtful at best, and downright wrong in some places. For instance, not too many years ago it was an accepted axiom among Biblical scholars that the author of the Fourth Gospel always tended to “ ...
In his excellent little book, How Can It be All Right When Everything Is All Wrong?, Professor Lew Smedes says that one source of our salvation is to cultivate a sense of wonder. He reminds us that Jesus was a source of wonder to all who came into contact with Him, from the humble shepherds who were struck with wonder at the sight of blazing angels sashaying around the Judean hills to the Wise Men from the East who came and laid their gifts at Jesus’ feet and wondered. All His life Jesus made people wonder ...
Muhammad Ali is reported to have said, “When you’re as great as I am, it’s hard to be humble.” Whether or not he actually said it, I don’t know, but it sounds like him. I recall seeing pictures of the famous fighter waving his boxing gloves in the air and saying, “I am the greatest!” How much was media “hype” designed to strike fear into the hearts of his opponents in the ring, and how much he actually believed it himself, is open to conjecture. But once we start saying it, it becomes hard not to believe ...
Our Scripture lesson sounds more appropriate for Palm Sunday than for the Sunday before Christmas, doesn’t it? But I am fascinated by the story, because it proclaims a truth: that the God of the Christian faith is a God who has need. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, His parents had to borrow a shepherd’s cave because there was no room at the inn. When Jesus rode into Jerusalem in triumph on that first Palm Sunday, He borrowed a donkey. Both of these ideas came together for me in a poem which I came across ...
In one of his books, A Scent of Love, Keith Miller tells the true story of a mother who took her children to the Animal Farm - a place where they could pet the animals that roamed free and even ride an elephant. Not finding a conventional parking space, the mother parked their little red Volkswagen “beetle” on a little paved apron on the path that led to the ranger station. Then they went out and had a great time. Realizing later, however, that the day had gotten away from them and they were supposed to ...
Today we continue in our illuminating study of the Epistle of James. Often in our study of the Bible, we must read and know the chapter or verses that surround the body of scripture we are studying. This principle is quite evident in our efforts today. There is a reason why we must learn and receive instruction to Tame the Tongue and know the Trademarks of Truth. There is a reason we must know how to Trip the Tempter and Trust the Truth. It all hits home in the fourth chapter. Here we see the results of a ...