A little girl whose father was a disc jockey, a radio announcer, was invited to a friend's house for dinner. When she arrived, the mother asked the little girl if she would honor them by saying the blessing. It delighted the little girl. She cleared her throat, looked at her wristwatch, and said, "This food, friends, is coming to you through the courtesy of almighty God." Well, she was right, all food that we eat comes through the courtesy of almighty God. (1) Thanksgiving is a special time of year. Can't ...
"Behold, the potter was working at the wheel And the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter. So he made it over reworking it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make it." (Jeremiah 18:3,4 Amplified Bible) It was a classic episode of "I Love Lucy." Lucy had taken a job at a candy factory and she was being trained on the first day of her new job. It was Lucy's duty to stand at a conveyor belt with pieces of candy continuously passing in front of her. She ...
This is the third Sunday in November--a day that will live in infamy for diehard football fans. The year was 1968. The exact date was November 17. Little did people know as they made their way home from church and prepared for an afternoon of professional football on television that this would be a day that would plunge a large portion of our population, mostly male into outrage. The New York Jets were playing the Oakland Raiders on the West Coast. It had been a long drawn-out game. The Jets were ahead by ...
Much has been written since the death of Princess Diana about the burden of being a celebrity. Studies show that most Americans don't even want to be famous. The loss of personal freedom that celebrities must endure can be costly. Singer Olivia Newton-John wanted to buy her husband a birthday present while she was visiting an old friend named Faye in Portland, Oregon. They went to the mall, knowing that if the famous singer were recognized things could get really hectic. Olivia said, "Don't worry, we'll ...
It's a classic Peanuts cartoon. Charlie Brown says to Lucy, “Someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our life." "Aaugh!" cries Lucy. "This is the last day! This is it!" She dashes away screaming, “I only have 24 hours left! Help me! Help me! This is the last day! Aaugh!" “Some philosophies," says Charlie Brown, “aren't for all people." Living each day as if it were the last day of our life is not a bad philosophy. Living each day as if it were the first day of our life ...
Humorist Robert Orben says that when he was in grade school, he was told if he wanted to get a good job he had to graduate from high school. So he went to high school. When he was in high school, he was told that to get a good job he had to go to college. So he went to college. When he was just about to graduate, he was told everybody had a bachelor's degree, and to get a really good job, he had to get a master's degree. So he got his master's. Then he was told that a master's degree would take him only so ...
There's an old, old story about a little guy who was sitting in a restaurant when a big bully came in. The bully walked over to the little guy, grabbed him forcefully and threw him over his shoulder. "That's Judo," he said, "Picked it up in Japan." Next he hit him square on the back of the neck. "That's karate. Picked it up in Korea." The little guy squirmed away from the bully and went out to his truck. When he came back in, he went right up to the bully and cracked him over the head. "That's crowbar," he ...
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner. His family bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited ...
Object: a plate of cookies and a glass of milk (might want to have a stash of extra cookies or candy to give out after the message, because the kids might get excited over the cookies) Good morning, boys and girls. Do you know what special holiday is coming up in a few weeks? That's right, it's Christmas. Christmas is coming in about a month. Are you excited? I am. Around our house, we like to leave a little treat for Santa Claus when he comes. We make a plate of cookies, and leave those out with a glass ...
Some time back someone circulated a form called The College Entrance Exam -Football Player Version. This humorous exam consisted of twenty questions and had a time limit of 3 weeks for completion. Let me read you some of the questions: 1.What language is spoken in France? 2. Would you ask William Shakespeare to (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) (in large capital letters) WRITE A PLAY 3.What religion is the Pope? (check only one) (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) ...
Some of you are familiar with the off-beat humor of Jack Handey. I have a list of "Deep Thoughts" allegedly written by young people, ages four to fifteen, who were asked to write their thoughts in Jack Handey's style. Some of them are hilarious in a bizarre kind of way. Here's one by a youngster aged 10: My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn ...
A new doctor--a young woman--came to a small town. Only one member of the community wasn't impressed with her. Old Jim Jones was the town grouch, and he was determined to show everyone that the new doctor wasn't all that great. So, he made an appointment with her. "Doctor," he said, "I have lost my sense of taste." The female doctor said, "What you need is my special concoction, #3." She brought out this concoction and gave a dose to Jim Jones to taste. After tasting it he immediately spit it out, "That's ...
A man at an airport was worried about missing his plane. He had no wristwatch, and he couldn't locate a clock, so he hurried up to a stranger and said, "Excuse me, could you tell me the time, please?" The stranger smiled and said, "Sure." He set down the two large suitcases he was carrying and looked at his wristwatch. "It is 6:08, the temperature is 75. The barometric pressure is 30.19 and falling. Rain is predicted. In Madrid, the sky is clear. The temperature is 40 degrees Celsius. In Istanbul, the ...
SUBJECT: All Saints'' Day CHARACTERS: Grandmother, Granddaughter, Darcy SETTING: A church cemetery PROPS: A small potted plant or flower arrangement Grandmother: "Thank you for coming to the cemetery with me, Darcy." Darcy: "You''re welcome. Who did you say we''re looking for?" Grandmother: "Rosen, Lila Rosen. She died last June, so her headstone should look relatively new." Darcy: "She was a good friend of yours?" Grandmother: "Oh, yes. She was just a saint. When I came to this church many ...
A little girl who normally attended another Sunday School happened to attend a Methodist Sunday School one week-end, while visiting her grandmother. In the course of the morning she heard a number of things she wasn’t quite sure about, but when the teacher said that Jesus was a Jew she responded, “Maybe Jesus was a Jew, but God is a Baptist!” Of course, God isn’t a Baptist; and neither was John the Baptist, for that matter. That is why the Revised Standard Version calls him “John the Baptizer”...to avoid ...
Henri Nouwen, in his book “Reaching Out,” says: “While visiting the University of Notre Dame, where I had been a teacher for a few years, I met an older experienced professor who had spent most of his life there. And while we strolled over the beautiful campus, he said with a certain melancholy in his voice, ‘You know....my whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted, until I discovered that my interruptions were my work.’” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Reaching Out, Garden City., N.Y ...
I happened to see part of a comedy program on television a couple of weeks ago. One of the segments of the program consisted of two or three short movies made by a producer unfamiliar to me. I take it that he is just getting started in this business. But he had a terrific “gimmick.” He found out when buildings were to be demolished in New York, and then arranged to take pictures of them being blown up or torn down. Only he interwove himself and his own dialogue into the picture. He would talk to the ...
The story is told of a parking lot sale that took place in Long Island, New York. Everyone brought his or her wares or craft items to buy, trade, and sell. One of the area farmers brought in a whole string of game birds. He had tied a string around one leg of each of the birds. The birds were all tied in such a way that all were controlled by a central stick held by the farmer. He had trained the birds to walk very dutifully in a circle so the buyers could see them before they became lunch or dinner. ...
The Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy wrote an insightful story titled How Much Land Does a Man Need? This story beautifully illustrates the attitude and principles that the 10th commandment was written to address. It goes like this: A peasant who had never owned a piece of land was given 20 acres with which to do what he wanted. He was excited at first. Then he decided he needed more. A traveler came and told him of a region he could go where land was available at a cheaper rate. He sold his 20 acres and used ...
I love the picture which shows two ladies in Las Vegas, running for their lives down a quiet street, being chased by a six foot, 200-pound ostrich, their leisurely morning walk turned now into a desperate chase. The incident is a great picture of how our normal lives can quickly change into one of desperation. The power of "fear" or "faith" is a constant choice we make every day of our lives. Let''s face it, living in an urban area like the Greater Easton area can be frustrating. You fight traffic every ...
Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr once observed that the Christmas event can only be spoken about in poetry. He went on to comment that over the centuries preachers have analyzed it in their sermons and have turned Christmas into dogma. "Dogma," he said, "is rationally petrified poetry." I think I understand what he means. He means that Christmas speaks to the heart. As I reread the Christmas story, images of Bethlehem and the shepherd's field flooded my mind. I kept "seeing" the darkened sky and the village not ...
The eyes of our nation have, in recent time, twice been riveted on Antarctica and the need to rescue medical personnel from a weather station there. Happily both rescues were successful, but they were conducted in weather conditions that were exceptionally hazardous for flight. Aircrews had to wait for precisely the right time to make each rescue attempt. The rescuers knew they wanted and needed to get to the weather station, but it was all but impossible. I am wondering whether a similar predicament ...
Recently, when I renewed my driver's license, I was presented with the opportunity to renew the accompanying organ donor card. I decided to renew, but I subsequently asked a doctor what organs were likely to be harvested. He mentioned many that I was aware of through stories of successful transplants. Then he pointed out that there is a continuing need for the largest, oldest, most sensitive, most protective organ of the body. When I asked what that was, he replied, "Your skin." I never had thought of it ...
Norman Rockwell has a painting titled Lift Up Thine Eyes. Shown in his painting is the magnificent entrance to an urban cathedral. Vaulted high above its carved gothic doors are statues of the prophets, apostles, and martyrs. And right in the center is Jesus Christ, sitting on a throne at the right hand of God. On the sidewalk below the cathedral move the busy throngs of people amidst the noise and fumes of cars and taxis. The pastor of the church has just finished changing the public bulletin board. The ...
A young college graduate embarked on what he hoped would be a promising career in sales. He was outgoing, witty, and enthusiastic. His company assigned him his territory. It was a rural area in the Midwest. His responsibility was to sell the latest in farm equipment to the farmers in the area. With great fervor he memorized the strategy sales pitch and left his office to spread his message of "better farming through better equipment." His first two visits had not resulted in a sale. But he could sense that ...