Hypocrisy. We know it when we see it. A newspaper recently quoted a congressman. I had to read the article twice to make sure I got it right. In the midst of a debate, an elected official stood to address the House of Representatives. Here’s what he said: “Never before have I heard such ill-informed, wimpy, back-stabbing drivel as that just uttered by my respected colleague, the distinguished gentleman from Ohio.” Hypocrisy. We know it when we see it. Maybe you heard about the leader in another church who ...
One of the best newspaper cartoons of all time is Calvin and Hobbes. One day Calvin and Hobbes come marching into the living room early one morning. His mother is seated there in her favorite chair. She is sipping her morning coffee. She looks up at young Calvin. She is amused and amazed at how he is dressed. Calvin’s head is encased in a large space helmet. A cape is draped around his neck, across his shoulders, down his back and is dragging on the floor. One hand is holding a flashlight and the other a ...
Recently I received an e-mail message that was entitled “Things I Really Don’t Understand.” It had a list of questions for which there seems to be no clear-cut answer. Here are a few of them: Why do doctors and lawyers call what they do practice? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on your radio? Why is a boxing ring square? What was the best thing before sliced bread? How do they get the deer to cross the highway at ...
An old story. A classic car lover was perusing the classifieds and saw an ad that seemed impossible to believe. A 1966 candy-apple red Corvette, a dream car, and offered for $100. What? $100...for a classic? No way, José. Was it a wreck? Or maybe the price was a misprint. Still, he had to find out, so he called. A woman answered the phone and assured him that the car was in excellent shape and that there was no mistake about the price. He dashed over. To his delight the car proved to be everything the ...
I remember the first time I ever preached on this text. I was more than a little reluctant...not because I was concerned about the sensitivity of the subject, but rather its relevance. You see, I was serving a congregation at that time that was OLD. I mean REALLY OLD - twenty percent of them were over 80! Did they NEED to hear, "You shall not commit adultery?" But I was in the midst of a series on the Ten Commandments, so I could not comfortably skip this one. I mentioned my concern, and the word that came ...
What is truly important? That is a question we all have to deal with at some point or points in our lives. Over these past several weeks, more than a few folks in this part of the country have confronted it. In the face of the oncoming fury of one hurricane after another, evacuations from coastal communities, decisions come. On TV the other night, there was an interview with a husband and wife who moved to their new retirement home on one of the Carolina barrier islands just six weeks ago - in that six ...
"When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred..." Or as the New Revised Standard Version has it, "When he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was in turmoil..." TURMOIL. Great word. It has a feeling about it. Something is bubbling up and about to boil over. There is tension. There is danger. The Greek word is seio and means to rock to and fro or to agitate, to quake or shake. And contrary to the parade and party atmosphere that we often associate with Jesus' entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, ...
You are familiar with David Heller's delightful little book, Dear God: Children's Letters to God.(1) There are some wonderfully witty observations. For example, • Dear God, What do you think about all those movies made about you around Easter time? I think they're kind of corny, myself. Your buddy, Charles (age 9) • Dear God, What do you do with families that don't have much faith? There's a family on the next block like that. I don't want to get them in trouble, so I can't say who. See you in church. ...
Some important birthdays this week. Our Sunday School Superintendent, Jane Bonavita has a big one today (Lordy, Lordy, Jane is...). Our Director of Music, Debbie Hunter has an even bigger one Thursday (Isn't it nifty, Deb's turning ...). Am I in trouble? Here is one that is safe: on Tuesday, it is Abraham Lincoln's. Had he lived, Mr. Lincoln would be 193 (and, no, I don't have a jingle for that one). Lincoln has always fascinated me. In my view, he was our greatest President. Others feel the same. In fact ...
Children. Several years ago a couple of books were published entitled Children's Letters to God and More Children's Letters to God(1) which collected some rather clever (and occasionally insightful) letters from youngsters to the Almighty. Listen to a few of them: • Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? * Jane • Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? * Anita • Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look ...
Geoff Burch is a sales trainer in England. He tells about a man named Fred he met in the course of his research into sales methods. Back in the 1950s Fred had been a traveling salesman hawking washing machines. This job was on commission only, but included a valuable and unusual perk: the then almost unheard of luxury of a vehicle. At the beginning of each week Fred was sent off in his van with five washing machines; so long as all five were sold each week, Fred could keep the van. This he succeeded in ...
Children. I love children. I am feeling a little sorry for myself at the moment because this week the first of my children leaves home - David goes off to college. For him, I am excited. For me, well... I love him more than I could ever put into words, and I am going to miss him. At some time or other, you may have heard me tell of his entrance into this world. The birth made use of the LaMaze method, so I was there during the whole experience. Following his arrival, as I stood admiring him in the warming ...
There is a well-known and widely practiced tactic in sports and in life known as "messing with your opponent's mind." They tell us that one of the most adept practitioners of this art was Dizzy Dean, the great St. Louis Cardinals pitcher of years ago. One day the New York Giants put runners on first and second with two out, and Dean intentionally walked Hughie Critz to load the bases. It seemed like a dumb move as the dreaded Bill Terry, the last National Leaguer ever to hit .400, was next up. But Dean ...
People are funny. Have you ever noticed that? HEALTH magazine carried a report back in 1994 on pizza consumption in the White House. It was based on a study done by Domino's Pizza. After noticing that nighttime pizza orders at the Central Intelligence Agency and the White House soared when a crisis was brewing, Domino's began keeping closer tabs on deliveries to these two addresses. Among the things they learned were these: *In the first year of Bill Clinton's administration, pizza orders to the White ...
Everyone has his or her own perspective about the meaning of Christmas day. Some years ago, when Lou Holtz was the head coach of the Arkansas Razorback football team, he was taking his team to play in a bowl game in Tempe, Arizona. The game was to be played on Christmas Day. He was asked how he felt about having to play a football game on Christmas instead of being at home with his family. Lou Holtz answered candidly, "Frankly, I'd rather be in Tempe. After all, once you've been to church, had Christmas ...
Eugene was a wimpy prince; stunted in growth, ugly, sickly, pale and hunched back. Everyone in Louis XIV's castle had written him off and ignored him. The young prince wandered around in the shadows of the French monarch's castle going unnoticed among the nobles and royalty who attended the balls, ballets, and parties. Eugene's friends were the slaves. No one else would have anything to do with him. Eugene wanted to be a soldier so he went to Louis XIV and asked for a commission in his army. Louis wouldn't ...
Little Benjamin sat down to write a letter to God asking for a little baby sister. He started the letter out: Dear God, I've been a very good boy.... He stopped, thinking, "No, God won't believe that." He wadded up the paper, threw it away, and started again: Dear God, Most of the time I've been a good boy...He stopped in the middle of the line, again thinking, "God won't be moved by this," so into the trash can went the wad of paper. Benjamin went into the bathroom, grabbed a big terrycloth towel off the ...
David McKechnie tells a great story about a rather unlikely speaker who came to Bob Jones University sometime back. Bob Jones is a stronghold of fundamentalism. According to the story the speaker told the young people, "You are naive. You cannot continue to take the Bible and apply literalism to it. For example," he said, "take the Old Testament. The Hebrew for `red' and `reed' is the same word. When it talks about Moses leading the children of Israel through the Red Sea with the Egyptian army in pursuit, ...
It is said that one of President Reagan's favorite stories was the one about the minister's son who was taken out camping one day. His companion warned him not to stray too far from the campfire because the woods were full of wild beasts of all kinds. The young boy had every intention, really, of following that advice but inevitably he was drawn by curiosity and wandered farther and farther from the fire. Suddenly, he found himself face to face with a very large and powerful looking bear. He saw no means ...
"My most vivid childhood memory of Christmas," writes columnist Dave Barry, "that does not involve opening presents, putting batteries in presents, playing with presents, and destroying presents before sundown, is the annual Nativity Pageant at St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Armonk, New York." Mrs. Elson was the director, and she would tell the children what role they would play, based on their artistic abilities. For example, if you were short you would get a role as an angel, which involved being part ...
Tony Pena is a catcher for the Boston Red Sox. Tony grew up in the Dominican Republic. Life was not easy. Tony Pena says that the person who had the greatest influence on his life was his mother. It is the dream of most every Dominican boy to play ball in the United States. Throughout the Domincan Republic young boys swing old rake handles or "anything else they can get for a bat, trying to hit a ball a little quicker, a little farther than anyone else" ” hoping to one day play in our major leagues. Tony ...
Some people are worriers. Have you ever noticed that? It's like the patient in the mental hospital. He was holding his ear close to a wall, listening intently. This went on for some time before an attendant finally came up and asked him what he was doing.. "Sh!" whispered the patient, motioning him over to listen as well. The attendant pressed his ear to the wall and listened carefully. "I can't hear a thing," he finally said. "That's right," replied the patient with a troubled look on his face. "It's been ...
An MG Midget pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light. "Do you have a car phone?" its driver asked the guy in the Rolls. "Of course I do," replied the haughty deluxe-car driver. "Well, do you have a fax machine?" asked the Midget driver. The driver in the Rolls sighed. "I have that too." "Then do you have a double bed in the back?" the Midget driver wanted to know. Ashen-faced, the Rolls driver sped off. That afternoon, he had a double bed installed in his auto. A week later, the Rolls driver ...
From our scripture lesson this morning, we find that facing a Giant task is not a new experience in human history, nor in the life of the people of God. In our passage from I Samuel, we see an incident that would put a challenge into any person. Here are two armies in their camps, each occupying a side of the mountain, with a valley in between them. Out of the camp of the Philistines comes the giant, Goliath, the champion of the group, with an interesting proposal to save bloodshed. It would be well for ...
The Little League coach looked down at his eager second baseman with desperation in his eye. "Bobby," he said, "You know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You know we don't tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, sir," replied the Little Leaguer. "Well, then," said the coach, "would you please explain that to your mother?" Some of you baseball fans are looking forward with anticipation to the coming season. A ...