Sermon and Worship Resources

Showing 3726 to 3750 of 4884 results

3726. Carried Any Donkeys Lately?

Illustration

Source Unknown

... man and the boy both rode the donkey, and they heard some people say, “Would you look at those heavy brutes making that poor donkey suffer.” So they both got off and walked, until they heard some people say, “Would you look at the waste—a perfectly good donkey not being used.” Finally, the scene shifts and we see the boy walking and the old man carrying the donkey. No matter what you do, someone will always criticize it. We smile, but this story makes a good point: We can't please everybody, and ...

3727. Til You Get It Right

Illustration

Staff

Plato wrote the first sentence of his famous Republic nine different ways before he was satisfied. Cicero practiced speaking before friends every day for thirty years to perfect his elocution. Noah Webster labored 36 years writing his dictionary, crossing the Atlantic twice to gather material. Milton rose at 4:00 am every day in order to have enough hours for his Paradise Lost. Gibbon spent 26 years on his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Bryant rewrote ...

3728. An Ounce of Brains

Illustration

A fellow heard about an operation which would enable him to get a new brain. He went to the hospital where the surgery had been perfected and asked the doctors what was in stock. "Well," they said, "here is an excellent engineer's brain--a finely honed, precise bit of gray matter. It will cost you $500 an ounce." "What else?" the man wanted to know. "This," they told him, "Is a lawyer's brain--a ...

3729. Shuffle the Deck

Illustration

Staff

... not sure there's even a name for that high a number. Persi Diaconis, a Harvard University mathematician who co-authored the study with Dave Bayer, a mathematician at Columbia, says that most people shuffle cards three or four times. Five times is considered excessive, but seven times is the perfect shuffle.

3730. Packed and Ready

MARK 13:24-37

Illustration

Staff

... up our sleeping bags and reminded each other, 'The boss may come today.'" The hymn writer Horatius Bonar exhorted us "to be ready for the last moment by being ready at every moment...so attending to every duty that, let Him come when He may, He finds the house in perfect order, awaiting His return." The trump may sound anytime. How important for us as Christians to be "packed and ready to go!" As you leave home today, don't say goodbye say "Maranatha!" Our Daily Bread

3731. Do an About-Face

Illustration

Staff

... , and in the course of the next few years you will get so that you won't steal any. If your employer catches you, tell him you are being converted; and you will get so that you won't steal any by and by." My friends, the thing is a perfect farce! "Let him that stole, steal no more," that is what the Bible says. It is right about face. Take another illustration. Here comes a man, and he admits that he gets drunk every week. That man comes to a meeting, and wants to be converted. Shall I say, "Don ...

3732. Smooth Stones

1 Samuel 17:1-58

Illustration

... the spiritual lessons contained in the more minute details may escape our notice. Therefore, I'd like to consider the importance of the expression "five smooth stones." Why more than one stone? Wasn't David a man of faith? Did he doubt that God would give him perfect timing and aim as he used his trusty sling to take on the enemy of the Lord? Certainly he needed only a single small pebble to accomplish his mission. But wait, there were at least four other giants (Sam. 21:15-22). They might rally to Goliath ...

3733. Simple Courage to Raise a Family

Illustration

Charles Colson

... mind, the threat of tyranny came from smaller social groupings family, church, workplace, and the like. We can escape the claims made by these groups, Rousseau said, by transferring complete loyalty to the state. In his words, each citizen can become "perfectly independent of all his fellow citizens" through becoming "excessively dependent on the republic." This idea smacks so obviously of totalitarianism that one wonders by what twisted path of logic Rousseau came up with it. Why did he paint the state as ...

3734. Reword the Question

Illustration

Roger van Oech

Nothing clouds your mind like dogma. Dogma can come from an outside authority or it can be self-generated from one's past successes. Here are some examples: None other than Plato himself dictated that the circle was the perfect form for celestial movement, and for the next two thousand years, astronomers said that planetary orbits were circular even though their observations didn't quite jibe with that. Even Copernicus used circles in his heliocentric model of the universe. Only after much soul-searching ...

3735. Christ's Heirs

Illustration

Staff

... his food around, he fouls his clothes, he is a total mess. But who is going to inherit my kingdom? Not my dog; my son is my heir. You are Jesus Christ's heir, because it is for you that He died." We are Christ's heirs, not through our perfection but by means of His grace.

3736. When God Wants To Mold a Man

Illustration

Staff

... , And skill a man, When God wants to mold a man To play the noblest part; When He yearns with all His heart To create so great and bold a man That all the world shall be amazed, Watch His methods, watch His ways! How He ruthlessly perfects Whom He royally elects! How He hammers him and hurts him, And with mighty blows converts him Into trial shapes of clay which Only God understands; While his tortured heart is crying And he lifts beseeching hands! How He bends but never breaks When his good He undertakes ...

3737. Christmas Is a God-Thing

Luke 1:26-38

Sermon

King Duncan

... . “Straighten up and be nice,” the mother said as the child began to cry and whine. “Mommy, I’m all out of nice,” came the response. (4) Well, sometimes adults run out of nice, too, and it is not a pretty sight to see. “Nobody’s perfect,” we say at such times. And, of course, it’s true. But sometimes when we give in to our imperfections, sad things happen. Dr. Samuel Massey tells of watching a World War II movie once. In this particular movie one character is giving lessons to another ...

3738. Being Prepared

Matthew 25:1-13

Sermon

King Duncan

... at his work, and discuss over cocktails who would hire him for their next film. William planned his stunt for over two years, checking the height of the tides, boat schedules, and deck layouts. He even lined up sponsors and recruited assistants. The stunt began perfectly. William took a swan dive off the bridge, trailing the bungee cord behind him. He felt it grow taut as it stretched and began to slow his descent. The tennis court of the cruise ship drew nearer. And nearer. And nearer . . . Somehow William ...

3739. When You Can't Win

Humor Illustration

... standing there wearing a radiant smile, holding out this gift and declared crankily, "Listen, buster, the baby had colic. The washing machine has broken down. Junior and another boy got into a fight today at school and were expelled. And now, as I might have expected, you make my day perfect by coming home drunk!"

3740. Tear On the Dotted Line

Humor Illustration

... a janitor in the building who said he knew how to solve the problem. "Drill a line of little holes," he said, across the wing where it breaks off. The engineers had tried everything else, so they thought to themselves, "Why not?" They drilled the holes and the plane few perfectly. They went to the janitor and asked him, "How did you know?" He replied wisely, "One of the lessons life teaches you is - nothing ever tears on the dotted line."

3741. How Do You Spell 'God'?

Humor Illustration

... . "I am willing to wait one thousand years if necessary in order to see God face to face." St. Peter is very pleased. He insists, though, on asking her one more question for the Records. "Tell me, dear lady, how do you spell 'God''?" The woman spells it perfectly, then enters the Pearly Gates. Finally, St. Peter calls in the third woman. He also apologizes to her, but she refuses to accept his apology. "It was quite rude," she says angrily. "All my life on earth I had to wait in lines. Wait at the checkout ...

3742. New York Attitude

Humor Illustration

... I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable, and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to talk to her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you." Note: Joke actually by Isaac Asimov, ASIMOV LAUGHS AGAIN, (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 1993), p. 135.

3743. Marvelous Martha

Humor Illustration

Dear Sue, This perfectly delightful note is being sent in paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my ...

3744. The Best Thing Afloat

Humor Illustration

... 't think I could stand that." And the other little boy thought for awhile and he said, "Well, yes, it must have been awful. But think of it the other way. It was still the best thing afloat." That's the way I feel about the church. It ain't perfect, but it's still the best thing afloat...

3745. He Goes to Our Church

Illustration

With understanding, love, patience, and, yes, a sense of humor, we can learn to smooth out the rough places in the church and unite as one body in praise of our God. I guess it doesn't matter whether our church is perfect or not; all that matters is that we can be like the little girl who was looking at a magazine with her mother: The little girl and her mother were looking at a magazine when the girl saw a picture of Jesus. Her mother, seeing an opportunity for a lesson, ...

3746. The Thieving Translator

Humor Illustration

... will go to the town well, face north and count down five stones, he will find a loose one there. Pull it out and all the money is behind there. Please tell him quickly." The little translator got a solemn look on his face and said to the Ranger in perfect English, "Jorge Rodriguez is a brave man. He says he is ready to die."

3747. Students Changing Light Bulbs

Humor Illustration

... . At Ohio State it takes five. One to change it, two to talk about how Woody would have done it, and two to throw the old bulb at Michigan students. At Wisconsin it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion. At Illinois it takes seven, and each one gets four semester credit hours for it. At Indiana it takes eight. One to screw it in, and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season. At Minnesota it takes ...

3748. A Humbling Beginning

Illustration

Staff

... in comedy. In fact, in 1972, when Leno was still a struggling comedian, he had written in his diary, "Hope to host ''The Tonight Show.''" In 1986, he got his big break. Johnny Carson chose Jay as a guest host on the show. Jay remembers that day with perfect clarity. In his biography Leading With My Chin, he says he was all puffed up with pride and importance as he drove to the studio. He gave his name to the security guard at the studio gates. The security guard refused him entrance. He didn't believe for ...

3749. Paying For Your Sins

Humor Illustration

... . "Hold on," he said. "You have some sins that you need to pay for. You see that lady over there." He pointed to the ugliest woman I have ever seen. "Your punishment is to spend the next 400 years with that woman." Well, I knew I had not been perfect. Besides, what is 400 years in eternity? I could live with that. At least I thought I could. Then I saw (your chairman, director, president, etc.). And he had on his arm the most beautiful, gorgeous blonde that I have ever seen. I couldn't believe it. I went ...

3750. The Boilermaker's Bill

Humor Illustration

... of escaping steam for a few minutes, and felt some pipes with his hands. Then he hummed softly to himself, reached into his overalls and took out a small hammer, and tapped a bright red valve, once. Immediately the entire system began working perfectly, and the boilermaker went home. When the steamship owner received a bill for $1000, he complained that the boilermaker had only been in the engine room for fifteen minutes, and requested an itemized bill: FOR TAPPING WITH HAMMER - .50 FOR KNOWING WHERE TO ...

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Antonyms: deficient, imperfect

Showing 3726 to 3750 of 4884 results

3726. Carried Any Donkeys Lately?

Illustration

Source Unknown

3727. Til You Get It Right

Illustration

Staff

3728. An Ounce of Brains

Illustration

3729. Shuffle the Deck

Illustration

Staff

3730. Packed and Ready

MARK 13:24-37

Illustration

Staff

3731. Do an About-Face

Illustration

Staff

3732. Smooth Stones

1 Samuel 17:1-58

Illustration

3733. Simple Courage to Raise a Family

Illustration

Charles Colson

3734. Reword the Question

Illustration

Roger van Oech

3735. Christ's Heirs

Illustration

Staff

3736. When God Wants To Mold a Man

Illustration

Staff

3737. Christmas Is a God-Thing

Luke 1:26-38

Sermon

King Duncan

3738. Being Prepared

Matthew 25:1-13

Sermon

King Duncan

3739. When You Can't Win

Humor Illustration

3740. Tear On the Dotted Line

Humor Illustration

3741. How Do You Spell 'God'?

Humor Illustration

3742. New York Attitude

Humor Illustration

3743. Marvelous Martha

Humor Illustration

3744. The Best Thing Afloat

Humor Illustration

3745. He Goes to Our Church

Illustration

3746. The Thieving Translator

Humor Illustration

3747. Students Changing Light Bulbs

Humor Illustration

3748. A Humbling Beginning

Illustration

Staff

3749. Paying For Your Sins

Humor Illustration

3750. The Boilermaker's Bill

Humor Illustration

Showing results