I ran across a story recently that tickled my funny bone. A woman was going through the check-out lane in a grocery store. She noticed that the bag boy was eyeing her two adopted children curiously. That was not unusual, she says. They often draw attention, since her son’s a blond Russian and her daughter has shiny black Haitian skin. The boy continued staring as he carried the groceries to the car. Finally, he asked, “Those your kids?” She replied proudly, “Yes, they are.” “They adopted?” he asked. “Yes, ...
Most of you are familiar with that time-honored story about a board meeting that Satan once called in hell. At this meeting Satan put this question to his senior advisors: “We need to develop a new strategy for causing havoc upon earth. Do you have any suggestions for a new means of reaching human beings for our side?” One advisor suggested, “Tell them there is no heaven.” Another said, “Tell them there is no hell.” But the prize winning suggestion was judged to be much more effective: “Tell them there is ...
The assumption of this last sermon of the series is probably wrong for most people. I have entitled this sermon, “I Wonder about Life after Death,” but the truth of the matter is that most of us typically do not wonder about death. Most of us choose to ignore the subject altogether. It scares us too much. When I bring up the subject of death to people, I often get the reply, “Why would I want to think about that?” or “I don’t want to think about that until I am old. I am young now, and I will have plenty ...
I am here today to tell you that a great fraud is being perpetrated in my hometown. Ever since I returned to Findlay, people have been telling me: “Join the Y, and you’ll get in shape.” So, I finally joined the Y (I’m old enough to remember when it was called the YMCA!) a year ago, and I have to tell you, it has done me no good. It would serve them right if I’d actually enter the building for the first time and tell everyone there that they are being duped! Joining the church and refusing to go out and ...
I lived for a portion of my childhood in Bath, Maine. There are many notable things about this small city on the Kennebec River, but is perhaps best known for its ships. In the late 1800s and early 1900s it was full of shipyards that built all kinds of wooden sailing vessels. Now it has just one shipyard, Bath Iron Works, which is a huge facility that builds destroyers and frigates for the US Navy. Much of the work is done outside, and it was great fun to watch the pieces of the ship come together like a ...
Animation: Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh / Anointing Oil – Frankincense and Myrrh Animation: youtube of the Seinfeld clip on re-gifting The term “re-gifting” was coined by Jerry Seinfeld in an episode of the comedy show Seinfeld in 1995 called “The Label Maker.” Elaine is horrified to discover that Jerry has received a gift (a label maker) from someone. But it’s the same “label maker” that she originally gave to the guy who gifted Jerry. They uncovered a “re-gifter!” Anyone remember Seinfeld? [Pause to see how ...
Would you consider yourself a competitive person? Or maybe I should ask, in what area are you most competitive? Maybe you’re competitive in getting the best grades in your class or the best parking spot at work. Maybe you compete to make the best pancakes in your family or tell the funniest knock-knock joke or to get up the earliest on Christmas morning. Humans are naturally competitive. We like to have an edge over those around us. Rabbi Harold Kushner tells the story of a driven young man in the pre-med ...
There are not ten commandments; there are only nine. That other one, the one about resting and not working on the Sabbath, that’s really just a suggestion. No one, not even the most observant Christians — with the possible exception of Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a — take it all that seriously, and even they simply close their businesses. Whether or not they actually rest and remember, as the commandment requires, is anyone’s guess. Business Insider lists In-and-Out Burger, Marriott, and Forever 21 as three ...
Let’s remember the story the way we’ve been told it. Even though the sun was just beginning to peek over the mountains to the east, if you looked at the highway climbing up from the Jordan Valley, you could see the lines of people coming to Jerusalem for Passover. One of the highlights of the Jewish faith was making the annual journey to Jerusalem for Passover and make your sacrifice at the temple. They came from all corners of the world, filling the streets with noise and excitement. On one of those ...
I just don't understand the man! I invited him into my home and what do I get? INSULTS! He was a guest in my house. I don't think he understands who he's dealing with! Some people just can't be satisfied with what they've received. Let me explain ... "You see, a few weeks back, I heard that Jesus of Nazareth was going to be in our area. You know, he's that roving preacher who's so popular with the public right now. In fact, I've heard he's done some amazing things during his meetings. And he teaches some ...
The epitaph on the grave of Albert Camus, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, reads: "Here I understand what they call glory: the right to love without limits." In our gospel lesson we see two people who love without limits. Neither of them seem very glorious. One is a tired itinerant preacher named Jesus. The other is a woman who has no name -- only a racial designation: a Canaanite woman. "Canaanite" was to the Jews of Jesus' time what "Native American" is to the majority of North Americans. ...
Theme: The baptism of the Holy Spirit for service. Summary: A choral reading. Several renowned Christian leaders speak about their empowering by the Spirit for service. Playing Time: 7 minutes Place: A neutral reading area Props: Black folders with scripts Costumes: Black Time: The present Cast: First Reader Second Reader Third Reader Fourth Reader D.L. Moody Charles Finney R.A. Torrey Catherine Marshall FIRST: (ENTERS ALONG WITH SECOND, THIRD, AND FOURTH READER) We are living in the age of the Spirit. ...
Mountains were very important to Matthew. When Jesus was tempted to worship the devil in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world, it happened on a mountain. It was good enough for Luke to have Jesus preaching on a nice level place, but when Jesus preaches essentially the same sermon in Matthew he does so on a mountain. That's why we call it the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus went to the mountain to pray. And today we have this story of the transfiguration, which happened on a mountain. What is it about ...
But Moses said to God, "If I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what shall I say to them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM." He said further, "Thus you shall say to the Israelites, 'I AM has sent me to you.'" God also said to Moses, "Thus you shall say to the Israelites, 'The LORD, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you': This is my name forever,and ...
September 5, 1982 Comment: It was Labor Day weekend and it was also atime when I found myself involved in a bit of aconfrontation with some leaders in my Annual Conference.That led to a strange com-bination. But knowing the story ofMoses and realizing that he undertook the mission to freehis people, I found myself putting together the few bits ofdata about Moses' wife in all that and came up with afictitious correspondence. It was easy to find a reader for the Zipporah partbecause the church had a number ...
There was this man who had a disability in his leg, but he was determined to walk. And so he walked, slowly, but often long distances. Once he was out in the countryside rolling hills, rough, rocky, and uninhabited. He was a couple miles from home. He felt exhausted, more than usual. He hoped someone would come along soon who could offer him a helping hand. Eventually, he saw someone riding a donkey. He whistled his attention and the man came to him. He was the ranch owner making his daily round of the ...
A couple stands before the pastor in the midday service. He asks, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” The father says, “I do.” Then the father takes the right hand of the bride in his right hand and places it into the right hand of the pastor who, in turn, places it in the right hand of the groom. The vows are given, and the groom, having taken the right hand of the bride, says, “I, John, take thee, Mary, to be my wedded wife.” Dropping hands, the bride offers her right hand to the groom and ...
In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told. (Romans 4:18) Sometimes, as we get to this point in the year, it seems that winter will go on forever. It’s been cold for so long that you can hardly remember the last time you put on a pair of shorts and basked in the warmth of the sun. You are so sick of shoveling the driveway that you would almost rather go to the dentist with an impacted wisdom tooth than go through another snowstorm. The trees have ...
Have you ever had an inner emotional pain that would not go away? A depression that would come and go in waves? Sometimes it seemed like everything was completely normal and then it would come upon you totally unexpected. Perhaps it was related to something that happened in your childhood, something so awful that you couldn’t tell anyone, not even your spouse or your best friend because in reality you weren’t really sure you believed it yourself. Sometimes it would sneak into your dreams, dreams so bad ...
Death Following Mysterious Disappearance This was a Funeral Sermon for two young people who disappeared from the community and whose remains were found many weeks later. As a parent of two young men, ages eighteen and twenty, I've tried this past week to put myself in the place of _____________ and _______ 's parents and their families. But I cannot. All I can do is to do what each one of us can do - to go with them into the depths of their sorrow and despair and walk with them along the road of this ...
I have visited some places I really wish I could have stayed. If it were my choice I would still be there right now. As much as I like it here, I would rather be there. There is a tent, set on a hill at the top of a 1,500-foot cliff overlooking the Jordan Valley in southern Israel. When the sun comes up in the morning it breaks over the mountains a few miles to the east and literally shatters the darkness around you. The winds sail up the face of the cliff from the valley below and almost make you believe ...
For six days, Jesus had been engaged in an inner struggle, attempting to settle, once and for all, his decision to go to Jerusalem where, he knew, he would die. In a move not unique to the Jews when there was any religious critical question to be settled, Jesus took Peter, James, and John apart from the rest of the disciples and went to a "high mountain" for a retreat. He needed their company, comfort, and support as he was about to lay his life on the line. Was he doing the right thing? Had he interpreted ...
There you are, standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, shifting your weight from one foot to the other while the people ahead of you seem to be going on like a movie in slow-motion. You are already late. You consider switching lanes but quickly dismiss the idea, knowing that at that precise moment, everyone in the lane you just left will go through in an instant. Then you discover the problem. The third person ahead of you just bought an Iowa lottery ticket. That's okay, but she doesn't just ...
Cast (in order of appearance) NICK (an old newspaper vendor) JIM/NICODEMUS (a younger man) JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA SOLDIER I SOLDIER II PETER JOHN SALOME MARY MARY MAGDALENE EXTRAS Introduction We are blessed with a professional actor in our church, who loves to play the part of old men. This play was written with him in mind, but any man with a bit of make-up and whitened hair can win your audience with this warm story of an old man on Easter morning. The scenery is very simple ... an old street corner ...
If you still haven’t heard of Murphy’s law, let me tell you how it reads: Says Murphy’s law, "If anything can go wrong, it will." Murphy’s law and others like it are not laws in a scientific sense; they are not laws in the sense that the law of gravity is a law. But they do capture human moments that are repeatable among us to the point where they seem more the rule than the exception. An enterprising fellow by the name of Arthur Bloch has put laws of this kind together between two covers and the result ...